Page 17 of The Holiday Hate-Off
“If you’d known about it then, you would have wanted to do the calendar reveal at Hook, Wine, and Sinker,” I infer.
The mayor shifts uncomfortably again.
My grandmother whispers something to an awkward kid holding yet another sample tray, and he beelines toward us with a forced smile. “Sir, would you like another sample of the Italian sub?”
Mayor Locke gives me a long, pointed stare before declining the sample.
“I’m going to turn this around,” I tell him. “You wait.”
“It’s a very pleasant party,” he tells me easily, waving around.
But I notice none of his several children came, and more than half the people here would qualify for a senior citizen discount at the local restaurants.
“And more people will probably wander in off the street if they hear the music,” the mayor continues. “You don’t need to do anything.”
It’s like he’s never met me.
“It’s no problem,” I say, my mind scrambling, because I’m afixer. I see a problem, and I come up with a solution, even if I have to use a bulldozer to make it happen. I’m going to turn this thing around, whatever it takes. “Excuse me, sir. We’re about to turn it up.”
I step away and hunt down Giovanni, pulling him away for a private talk.
“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” I ask.
He grins at me. “That it would be nice to be in Greece or South Carolina right about now?”
I laugh, because that was, undeniably, a good one. “What else…?”
“This party is a bit…” He teeters his hand from side to side.
“No shit. Apparently there’s a bachelor auction event at Hook, Wine, and Sinker.” I gesture in the direction of the Sip. “And then there’s the Santa Speed Dating thing at the Sip tomorrow night. That’s why we’ve barely got anyone under fifty. They all want this dating shit. I ran into that woman who works for Eileen earlier, and she definitely knew about the Hook, Wine, and Sinker auction.”
“You mean the hot barista who ripped you a new asshole?”
I give him a look I’m really hoping will shut him up. “She knew,” I say, “and she didn’t warn me.”
“Why would she?” he replies with a laugh. “She hates you.”
“And she just started a war.”
He rolls his eyes. “Ah, here we go. Don’t we have enough Cafiero grudges?”
“We’re going to make this a night people are talking about for months, Giovanni. You mark my words. It’s not over yet. We’re going to pull something big out of our pockets tonight. Something to compete with that auction and Santa Speed Dating.”
He shakes his head, his lip curling with amusement. “Good luck. That’s not gonna happen unless you’ve got Amanda Willis hiding in your pocket.”
Ah yes, Amanda Willis. The celebrity my sister is obsessed with, who is reportedly spending the holiday season tucked away in Hideaway Harbor. Probably because she’s been all over the tabloids recently after coming out as gay. I figure it’s nobody’s business who she wants to date. Her romantic life is hardly a matter for public scrutiny or a cause for heightened notoriety. But there’s no denying her star power, whatever the reason for it. If she were here, people would come in just to meet her. She’s a no-show, though, just like most of the town.
Maybe she figures there’s no point searching out Italian food in a town known for its lobster and Finnish roots. Maybe that’s the real reason so few people bothered to come tonight.
“Initial thoughts?” I ask.
He shrugs. “I say we don’t bother trying to charm people. We’ll have Nonna unveil the number, bring out the panettone, and send everyone packing. No need to debase ourselves any more than we already have. We’ll call it a wash and try something else.”
But a thought clicks into place, and I snap my fingers, grinning at him. “You absolute genius.”
He grins, his eyes the same warm, liquid brown my nonno’s were. “While I enjoy being called a genius, I’m not sure I can lay claim to it this time.”
“That’s it.” I give his arm a shove. “We’re going to debase ourselves. We’ll do our own bachelor auction here. You, me, and Nico. But it won’t be some stodgy, black-tie event. We’ll pour more drinks and turn up the music. It’ll befun. We can donate the money to Toys for Tots. The publicity will be great for the shop.”
