Page 18 of My Apocalypse Mountain Man
The question hangs between us. I've seen Kole face down zombies and raiders without flinching, but this conversation seems to unsettle him more.
"Caring about more people than I can protect," he finally says. "Getting invested in something that might not last. Losing everything again."
The pain in his voice makes my chest ache. "What happened before, Kole? When you lost your unit?"
He's silent for so long I think he won't answer. Then:
"Ambush. We were establishing a communication relay when we got hit. Coordinated attack—someone had fed them our position. Half my team died in the first wave." His voice is flat, carefully emotionless. "I made the call to fall back instead of holding position. Saved the rest of us, but left civilians behind."
"That wasn't your fault."
"My job was communications. I should have seen the signs. Missed check-ins, equipment failures that were too convenient. I ignored them because I wanted to trust my team."
Understanding hits me. "Someone on your team was the leak."
"My commanding officer. Found out later he'd been selling information for supplies. Got a lot of people killed before anyone figured it out." He finally looks at me. "So I decided trusting the wrong people gets everyone killed."
"And you're afraid I might be the wrong person."
"No." The word comes quickly, firmly. "Not anymore. But what if Tom is? What if someone in that network is? What if building something bigger just gives more people the chance to betray us?"
The question hangs between us, and I realize this is the real issue. Not whether we can survive zombies or raiders, but whether Kole can trust enough to build something lasting.
"You can't know for certain," I say finally. "You can't guarantee everyone will be trustworthy or that nothing will go wrong. But Kole, look at what you've been doing for the past week. You've been watching me handle crises, make decisions, respond to threats. What does your gut tell you about me?"
"My gut says you're the best thing that's happened to me in three years."
"Then trust your gut. And what does it say about Tom's proposal?"
He's quiet, really thinking about it. "That having backup and resources probably outweighs the privacy concerns. That isolation didn't actually keep me safer, it just kept me alone."
"But you're still worried."
"About you, mostly." He reaches out, touches my face gently. "If something goes wrong, if someone compromises the network, you'll be a target. Your skills, your knowledge of radio communications—"
"Kole." I step closer, place my hands on his chest. "I've been a target since the day I picked up a radio. The difference is now I have you watching my back. We protect each other. That's what partners do."
"And if that's not enough?"
"Then we deal with whatever comes. Together."
I can feel his heartbeat under my palms, strong and steady. He covers my hands with his, holding them against his chest.
"I love you." The words come out rough, like they've been trapped too long. "I know it's only been a month, but I don't care. I love you."
Something in my chest loosens. "Say it again."
"I love you, Sierra."
"Good." I pull him down for a kiss. "Because I love you too. Since the first time you made me laugh over the radio."
"That long?"
"That long."
He lifts me suddenly, and I wrap my legs around his waist as he carries me toward the cabin. "Inside. Now."
Inside, Kole shoves me against the door, his mouth claiming mine before I can catch my breath. His hands are already under my shirt, calloused palms rough against my ribs as he strips it over my head.
