Page 104 of Freshmeet
Sarah frowned but nodded and asked if my mom wanted help clearing the table.
I left the two of them cleaning up in silence and went to Jamie’s room, where I found him lying on his bed, staring at the ceiling.
“You okay?”
He nodded, his eyes locked on a faded band poster.
“You want to talk?”
He shook his head.
I sighed and walked over to his desk. While Mom redecorated and turned my bedroom into a guest room theweekend after I graduated high school, Jamie’s room was still a shrine to his high school career.
“You don’t have to check on me. I’m a grown man.”
Letting out a humorless laugh, I sat in his squeaky desk chair. “Tell Mom that.”
“I fucked up.” He rolled his head to the side and looked at me with watery eyes. “I never should’ve found him.”
“Eh.”
“I hurt Mom by bringing it up.” When I didn’t say anything, Jamie asked. “Aren’t you mad?”
His question surprised me. “I don’t know. It makes sense that you want to know more.”
Jamie leaned up on his elbows. “Ever since I saw him in that composite, I’ve wondered what his family’s like. Aren’t you pissed he started a whole new life without us?”
I took a deep breath and looked down at my calloused hands.They were covered in scars from working manual labor since I was fourteen, because a certain asshole left us to go back to hisrealfamily. A family Mom had no idea existed because he’d used medical school as a cover to live a double life.
Mom had struggled to make ends meet, working as a waitress at Poppy’s and a cashier at Kum & Go. As soon as my uncle let me, I was on a construction site earning enough to help my mom get her nursing degree, and then her master’s.
“I used to be, but now?” I leaned back in the chair, crossing my arms. “Things happened the way they were supposed to. We got Mom through school, and now we get our turn. Added bonus, we don’t owe that fucker a damn thing.”
Jamie’s face softened. “You’re right.”
“I’m not saying you can’t be mad. I’m just saying I’m not. I’ve already mourned having a father. There’s nothing the bastard can do to change that.”
“But what about him marrying that woman? He didn’t marry Mom. He’s not even on our birth certificates.”
“I’m going to be completely honest with you. You don’t remember what this house was like when he was here. He wasn’t around much, but when he was, he wasn’t the nicest. When he finally left, Mom became a different person. She was happier, even if she was stressed about money and everything else.”
Jamie nodded sadly, pulling himself up to sit. “It’s not fair, you know?”
I stayed quiet.
Standing, he started to pace the room. “It’s not that I haven’t had a good life, but think about how much easier things would’ve been for you and Mom? Hell, you’re a twenty-three-year-old freshman.”
His words were like a punch to the gut. All facts, all fucked up.
He slowed his steps and stopped in front of me. Biting his thumbnail, he shook his head. “I’m sorry your future was placed on the back burner. That wasn’t fair, and I hate that it happened. You deserved better.”
I stood up and pulled him to me. We were about the same height and weight, but in that moment, he was the same little kid that used to run to me because he was scared of the dark.
“Hey.”
He sobbed into my neck, soaking my shirt, his body shaking against me.
“I told you, I don’t regret a thing.”
