Page 38 of Awakened
“Rae!” We hugged over the counter. “Can I get a double shot of well whiskey and a tall boy of PBR?”
“Coming right up.”
I took the shot and took a swig of my beer. The cheap booze had its work cut out for it if it was going to get rid of my piss-poor mood.
Emily slid up to me and gave me a quick peck on the cheek. “Hey, babe. You look pissed off. What happened on the car ride?”
“Brand pestered Zach, Seth glared at me like I ate his baby, and through it all, Zach was a perfect sweetheart.”
After a long swig, I gave up trying to calm down. “I’m so fucking livid. Where does Seth get off being pissed about Zach? Where the fuck was he when I needed him a month ago? When I needed anyone? Did he think he would just come here and BOOM, pound town?”
“Les, I don’t think Seth thinks anything about you is easy. And it’s not an excuse, but Aiden said you were off limits, remember?” She shrugged. “Maybe Seth’s finally workedthrough being a damn pussy and was ready to come clean about how he feels about you.”
The alcohol started to buzz through my system. “What do you mean, how he feels? I-I—He?—”
Em snorted. “You gotta be fucking kidding me. That boy loves you. Always has.”
I didn’t know what the hell she was talking about. He had admitted he was attracted to me but never once made a move, not even when I laid it out there for him. Not exactly proof of a long-suffering love.
My intelligent response? “Psh.”
“Come on, Les. He didn’t want to take advantage of you or be beaten to a pulp by my brother. Now he’s realizing he missed his chance. I’d be kicking myself too if I missed out on your sweet ass,” she joked as she swatted my behind.
I mumbled, “He turned down the chance before.”
“Wait, what?”
I came clean about our almost hookup and took another shot whileLike a Virginplayed in the background. Perfect.
“First of all, fuck you for not telling me. Second of all, you’re an even bigger fool than I thought. After that, ‘you don’t know why he’s acting this way?’ Come on.” Tilting her head to the side, she gave me her best ‘you gotta be fucking kidding me’ face.
“What do you expect me to do? I have this thing happening with Zach. It’s fun, easy, and no risk to my already pulverized heart. I can’t handle more than that right now. I don’t even know if I want to get serious with a wolf again. This mate shit is no joke.”
“I get it, and that’s fine if it’s what you want, but you can’t pretend there’s nothing between you and Seth. For as long as I can remember, he has been watching out for you. The way he looks at you—fuck. I wish I had that. The number of times—” She stopped herself and looked away.
“What?”
This time, it was Brandon who answered from over my shoulder.
“The number of times Aiden and Seth have come to blows over you. The number of times you’ve been blocked from the pack link so Aiden could stake his claim again and tell Seth to back off. The fact Aiden sent Seth to study abroad after your breakup freshman year of college.”
“That’s why he went to Italy?”
Brandon slowly nodded. “Aiden had Alpha suggest a semester abroad so Seth could maybe find his mate. Aiden made it clear to Seth that going abroad was best for you and your relationship, and Seth knew how much you loved Aiden and how much Aiden loved you, so he left.” The sad look on Brandon’s face was like a punch to the gut.
“Why didn’t you guys tell me all this?”
Emily and Brandon shared a tense look, and Emily turned back to me. Brandon sighed and walked away, frowning at us when he made it back to the others.
Fucking mind link.
“Seth and Aiden asked us not to, and we didn’t think it mattered anyway. It was always you and Aiden. No one knew you had feelings for Seth. From what it sounds like, you didn’t even realize it. We all thought it would be better for Seth to get away from you, and maybe his feelings would fade. The boy was a mess. Only Aiden, Brandon, and I knew.”
My heart broke thinking about the pain I caused Seth without realizing it. I had been nursing a hurt ego for years while he watched my happy little relationship with Aiden. Fuck. I developed feelings for him and then pushed them to the back of my mind in his absence.
It hurt when he left for Italy. I emailed him weekly, but he rarely responded. I figured I had embarrassed myself and stopped reaching out. When he got back, we were still close, but his absence had created resentment in me.
I’m such a bitch.
