Page 134 of Awakened
The first was for the Women’s retreat, and thankfully, that one was mostly completed. The second was for the first aid shit I needed to pick up for the inevitable injuries I would sustain. The final list was for Sarah and Michael’s joint Bachelor/Bachelorette party. Armed with a gallon of coffee, high-speed internet, and a healthy dose of dread, I got started on client emails.
“I got this.”
“I don’t got this.”
Saturday came all too quickly.
I slumped into the booth after hanging the last “Last Penis You’ll Ever See” banner.
“Oh, come on. This is the fun part!” Zach passed me, struggling with the inflatable boob and testicle beach balls. “These are so wrong. Where’d you even find them?”
Lifting my head from the table, I shrugged. “The internet. I figured the beach balls added a grotesque factor missing from the titty tapestries. I’m starting to think I went too hard on this whole genital motif.”
Zach scanned the small bar. “Nah, you hit the mark. Just enough dicks and tits.”
Nodding solemnly. “My secret talent—knowing when the dicks and tits are necessary and when they’re just gauche.”
Laughing, Zach pulled me up from the booth. “Exactly.” Moving out to the patio, we tossed the inflatables around. Holding two in front of his chest, Zach chuckled. “All these boobs are making me think it might be time to get laid.”
I smiled as he “shimmied” his inflatable tatas. “Oh yeah? Feeling lucky, Cain?”
“I think so. That is if it’s coolwith you.”
“You’re sweet for checking, but I’m good. You have my blessing to get ass. I might even offer my wingman services.” I gave him an exaggerated wink as I adjusted the candles on the tables.
Zach’s eyes widened. “Really?”
“You bet. Who better to talk you up than a satisfied customer?”
He frowned, sticking out his tongue. “Please don’t lead with that. I don’t want it to sound like there’s a fee or that we’re looking for a third.” He dropped the balls dramatically and stalked toward me. “Unless you’re into it.”
Tracing my hand down his chest, I slapped his stomach hard. “In your dreams, dude.”
We laughed our way back inside as the first wave of guests showed up.
The night picked up quickly, and by 10 p.m., I was hammered and dominating beer pong. It felt so good to be with friends and family when I knew that in a week’s time, we might be fighting for our lives. Catching myself in that morose thought, I took another big gulp of beer.
One of Zach’s pack members nudged my shoulder. “You sunk the cup. You don’t have to drink.”
Brushing my chest against his arm, he tensed up. “I’m just trying to make it even.”
“Oh-Okay.” He was so cute.
“I need to use the bathroom. Em! Come sub for me.”
Emily stumbled toward me, a grumbling Brandon following. Leaning in, I whispered so only Emily heard, “What’s up his ass?”
Emily turned to Brandon. “You know, I have no idea.” Then she exploded into a fit of laughter, giving me my answer. I patted Brandon’s shoulder as I passed him. “Good luck, bro.”
He grunted in response. Drunk Emily duty was the worst. She would go missing, fall asleep in random places, and run up impressive bar tabs. He was in for a long night.
The line for the bathroom was five deep, so I made a beelineto the bar. Smacking Zach’s ass as I sidled up next to him, I asked, “Having a good time?”
He grinned back. “Yep! You?”
“You know it.”
“I think sweet Colin has it for you, Sunshine.”
