Page 51 of Old Girls Go Greek
From today onwards I was going to say no if I felt like it and not explain why. And I was going to say yes to things too, broaden my mind to possibilities and opportunities. Did that include Will? Was he a possibility or an opportunity? Did that sound a bit cold blooded?
Over the last few years with Malcolm, I could see that my life had become predictable, dull and a bit sad. I’d put up with things, gone along with his plans, allowed myself to play second fiddle to his marching band. Well, now I knew what independence felt like.
From now on I was going to find my own way, look for warmth and lift my face to the sun. The prospect of this made me feel very excited.
15
The rest of the evening passed very pleasantly with everyone discussing the wine in quite sensible terms. New parties arrived, settling at their tables and chattering excitedly over the tasting notes just as we had. Occasionally people would wander off to look at the view again, which was changing with the early evening light. The sky changed, dimming to a luscious grey velvet colour over the dark satin sea as the sun set, and then the lights of the houses in the little coastal villages began to twinkle.
I went to lean my warm arms on the cool steel rail of the glass barrier separating me from a plunge down onto the rocks below and took a deep breath of the sea-scented air. I wondered what the people in those houses were doing.
Perhaps some would be returning home from work, preparing an evening meal. Playing with their children or maybe arguing with a partner. Some would be laughing, crying, elated or despairing, and still life would go on. In just a few days I would leave and return to my everyday life and there would be new people sitting here looking at that incredible coastline. Just as people thousands of years ago had done.
‘You look very thoughtful,’ Will said behind me, and I blushed to think he had followed me. After such a long marriage when I had been largely ignored and then forgotten, it felt strange and yet rather exciting to realise that he wanted to seek me out.
I looked back over Homer’s ‘wine-dark sea’ and sighed with pleasure.
‘I’m just wondering what it was like all those years ago when the Minoans left forever. And did people stand here hundreds of years ago and watch invading ships from Greece or Italy and wonder what on earth was happening? Are there people in those houses who right now are taking their first breath or even their last? It’s made me think about the future in a way I don’t think I have before.’
He leaned his hands on the railing next to me and looked out at the sea.
‘And what conclusion did you come to?’
‘None really, except I shouldn’t be held back by the mistakes I’ve made. Or more importantly by the actions of other people. You know what it’s like when a marriage ends. Was it him? Was it me? Could things have been different? Well, now I think I’ve been wasting my time fretting and rehashing the past, but now it’s time to think about the future.’
He nodded. ‘That’s a very good way of looking at it.’
‘I suppose I am beginning to realise that I can be in control of my life. As long as I don’t offend anyone or break any laws, I can do what I like. In future I’m going to do really exciting, epic things. Unless I get too tired, or it’s too expensive. In which case I’m going to do more affordable, epic stuff, and make time for naps.’
He laughed then, a proper loud laugh, which made a few people turn round to see what was going on.
‘Marvellous,’ he said at last. ‘You’re a tonic. Perhaps they should bottle your spirit and sell it here too.’
‘I think I would be a dry white,’ I said, ‘with fruity undertones and hints of irony and washing up liquid. Good with salads, fillet steak and chocolate digestives.’
‘I think you would.’ He chuckled. ‘In an elegant bottle with a beautiful label. A picture of the sea, a rocky coastline and one perfect seagull wheeling overhead.’
‘Not so sure about the seagull,’ I said, grinning. ‘You know what they’re like for stealing your chips or worse.’
‘Chateau Meg.Vinnotordinaireat all. I’d buy a case,’ he said, and he put one hand over mine.
‘Would you?’ I said, half laughing, half breathless with surprise.
‘I would,’ he said, ‘definitely.’
And he looked just for a moment at my mouth, and we all knew what that meant. He was thinking about kissing me. Properly this time.
All sorts of inappropriate, wine-linked thoughts went through my head. Screw-tops and tasting and lying down. Ageing well. Full bodied.
‘Homer said wine gives a man fresh strength,’ he said, ‘and I think you would be that sort of wine?—’
How amazing, I was just thinking about Homer too.
‘You’ve certainly made such a difference to me, even in this short time.’
‘Gosh, have I?’ I said. ‘I thought the possibility of being an influencer was over.’
‘Not at all,’ he said, and he took his hand away.
