Page 84 of The Dolce Vita Divas
It was sobering to think that this place, no matter how important it had become to me in the last few days, would continue perfectly well without me. The sun would rise, the shops open, fish would be caught, meals eaten, sea birds would wheel in the sky above it.
‘I’ll miss this place,’ I said, ‘and I’ll miss you terribly.’
‘I will miss you. But this will not be goodbye. It cannot be.’ He put his phone away and tapped the pocket. ‘We both have too much to do.’
‘Do we?’
‘Indeed, we do. If nothing else we have been invited to another party, this time in America. Where I am assured by my grandson that we will dress up as cowboys, but I have it on good authority that we will not be lassoing anyone.’
‘Well, I would hope not,’ I said, ‘and if he is anything like my children were, by the time his birthday comes around, it may have changed to spacemen or dinosaurs. And he did tell me he wanted to be a doctor.’
‘Well, let’s wait and see, shall we? And you, Joanna. What next?’
I sighed. ‘I have to deal with much more mundane things. The first thing I need to do is go back and get all the kids’ junk out of my garage, and the attic too. I’d forgotten about that. It’s over ten years since any of them actually lived at home. And when I moved, I just took all their unwanted stuff with me, and over the last few years they have been adding to it, which is ridiculous. Whatever I have been storing for them, they obviously don’t need most of it. Then I need to make sure Alex finds himself a new place to live and doesn’t just settle into my house for the foreseeable future. And I need to follow your mother’s example and look for things that are fun. I have spent long enough with my life in neutral. I want to make the most of whatever time I have left. And not live with regret.’
He reached across the table and took both of my hands in his.
‘I don’t want to waste another minute. I told you I loved you then, Jo, and I still do. I think we have something wonderful to offer each other. Something that doesn’t happen very often. And this does not diminish the love Ellen and I had for each other. She knew that I loved her, I was loyal and faithful to her, but she also knew you were special to me. Look, I know Susie and Raimondo are out this evening. I don’t want you to be eating alone in the dining room, not when you are going home tomorrow. Let’s have dinner together in my flat. We can talk some more and I will give you some of the finest wine in my cellar, something I have been keeping for a special occasion. I think this is it, don’t you?’
‘Oh, Paulo,’ I said, tears in my eyes, ‘what will everyone say? What will our children think? What about your mother?’
‘What about us?’ he said firmly. ‘Just for once, what aboutus? You and me. Do your plans for the future include a companion? Someone to perhaps help you with your luggage and advise on things? But only if advice was needed, of course.’
‘They might,’ I said, and I grinned at him, ‘if I could find someone who is kind, handsome and available.’
Paulo took my hands and kissed the back of them.
‘I like to think I am kind and before too long when the sale of the hotel is finalised, I will definitely be available,’ he said.
‘You are also still very handsome.’
He laughed and shook his head.
‘I’m not sure about that.’
‘Well, I am, and I am right, so let’s not argue about that.’
He looked up at me, his eyes suddenly serious.
‘I have a better idea. Let’s learn the lesson that the last forty years have taught us – let’s not argue at all.’
* * *
I went to my room to freshen up for dinner, and my mind was in a very different place from a week ago. I was loved; at long last, I was valued. I was not just the shredded remains of my past, an unsatisfactory wife, a mother who was taken for granted. I was, after all, still me. Still wanted and appreciated for who I was. Not for my youth or my charms, or my usefulness, just for myself. It was a heady realisation.
I was standing looking out at that wonderful view again, wanting to always remember it and the way I felt this evening, when there was a knock on the door.
I opened it to find Ceci there, stylish as always in a pale pink dress and white pashmina, the outfit finished off with a dazzling diamond necklace.
‘May I come in?’ she said. ‘Freddy and Lucia are waiting for me in the dining room. I have left them both there with particularly dry martinis, something they both love. And she is doing her best to be pleasant and agreeable. I’m going to miss her. I know we argue a lot, but then we always did. It doesn’t mean anything. They will be perfectly all right for ten minutes. And it will do them both good to miss me.’
She went to sit in the most comfortable armchair and fussed a little with the hem of her dress. I began to feel nervous, wondering what she had to say to me. Had Paulo spoken to her? Did she know?
‘I’ve come to interfere,’ she said, ‘because at my age no one dares to stop me, and to tell you something. It might take me a while.Per favore, sii paziente –be patient. I first married when I was nineteen; I’ve told you a little about that. It wasn’t a happy marriage, but it did give me Paulo, which was a blessing. I came back here for a short time to live when that marriage failed, and my parents family who were running this place, took us in. Now, if you wanted to find a couple who argued!Mio Dio,sometimes the air was blue with their shouting. But when my mother died, my father gradually lost his zest for life. I didn’t want to see the same thing happen to Paulo. I married again, unwisely as it turns out.Follemente innamorata– I was madly in love. Or so I thought. Madness like that never lasts and no one wants to live in a state of insanity, do they? It wasn’t until I was fifty, perhaps fifty-one, that I found Freddy, the first man who loved me for who I was. A man who always put my happiness first and still does. And as I said to you, a man I like. And just as Freddy always puts my happiness first, Paulo is that sort of man too. So I ask you, do you love him?’
I felt quite giddy for a moment and sat down on the edge of the bed. I looked at her, her gaze focused on me.
‘I do,’ I said. ‘I think I always did. But I came here to celebrate Ellen. It’s not right that this should happen.’
