Page 83 of The Dolce Vita Divas
Perhaps I had never expected to see him again, but after everything, Ellen, most ironically, had brought us back together. And things between us were good, better than that, which was something I hadn’t even considered might happen.
Maybe I had hoped for a tentative acknowledgement of what we had been to each other. I had never for a moment anticipated that old feelings might resurface. That we might look at each other and remember what had been. What might have been.
The rocky headlands, some of them covered in tumbling vegetation, reared up above us, and across the water we could see caves and rock falls on the shoreline, the waves busy at the foot of the cliffs. And then we rounded a corner of the coastline, and there in front of us were some huge monoliths sticking out of the water. I gasped to see them, and I felt Paulo take my hand.
‘The Faraglioni rocks,’ Paulo said, ‘the ones I told you about. Stella, Mezzo and Scopolo. Centuries ago, fires were lit on the top, to warn sailors away from the dangers of the coast.’
‘How on earth did people get up there?’ I asked.
Paulo laughed. ‘I can’t imagine, I would not like to try. But look, this is the most wonderful part. The arch through the Mezzo. Many people come here for just this view. When I was a boy, I swam through it. I don’t think I would like to try that now either.’
I sat back in my seat and looked up at the towering rocks above us, and I felt the boat slow as we got closer. It was as though all my senses and feelings had been awakened, the warmth of the sun on my shoulders, the freshness of the breeze, the sound of the sea birds high above us, the rocking of the boat and the slap of the water against the sides. And Paulo’s hand in mine again, warm and familiar.
We waited for a few minutes while another boat went through in front of us, and we could hear the cheers and whoops from the passengers.
‘You know the legend?’ Paulo said. ‘When you go under the bridge, you kiss for luck and for happiness. And you can make a wish, and maybe the sea gods will grant it.’
We exchanged a look, both of us smiling, and as the boat inched forward under the rocky arch, he put an arm around my shoulders and pulled me in towards him. And then he kissed me.
‘I have made a wish. Have you?’ he said.
I looked at his face, once so dear and familiar, and now that feeling returned.
And I did.
And then I leaned my head back and looked up at the sky, and I wondered if this was possibly the best day of my life. And tempting as that thought was, I didn’t want it to be. I wanted there to be other good days, other adventures, other best days to look forward to, not back on.
Paulo closed his eyes for a moment and frowned, as though he was trying to get his thoughts in order. At last, he spoke.
‘I have been happy, and sometimes sad, like most people. But my life has not ended, I can see that now. After Ellen died, I wasn’t sure if I should just carry on, waiting until the end, not sure when or how I would die too. But now, perhaps life – and you – have taken me on a different path.’
‘I was just thinking the same thing,’ I said. ‘I want there to be things to look forward to. I want my best days to be ahead of me.’
And at that moment I remembered what I had said to Susie:lots of water under lots of bridges. There’s nothing to tell.
But this time was different.
The beauty of this place, the air, the sunshine, the colour and the sea and Paulo. They all brought a long-buried sensation back to me. And I realised what had been missing from my life for so long. Those things he had said about me.
Passion. And courage.
* * *
We drove back to the hotel just after four o’clock, my face slightly windburned and glowing from the hours we had spent out at sea. On the way, we stopped in a little wine bar perched on the edge of a rocky promontory where the waitress was beautiful enough to grace any catwalk in Paris, and the wine came in a carafe with two glass tumblers, scratched with age and use, and it was perfect.
‘Now then, there is something I have been meaning to do ever since you got here.’
‘Yes?’ I said, slightly breathless all of a sudden.
He pulled out his mobile phone and handed it to me.
‘Please, will you put in your phone number, your email, your address, and any other way that I can contact you. Social media, carrier pigeon, anything!’
I laughed and did so, my fingers trembling. How silly to feel like this at my age. Like the same insecure and rather unsophisticated person I had been when he first met me. And yet somehow, I liked the feeling. The hard outer shell of being an adult had softened slightly, and I could almost remember what it felt like to be young and optimistic. To be wanted and valued just for myself.
‘I will let you know what happens,’ Paulo said, ‘about the hotel. I will go and see Stephanie tomorrow to see if there has been any progress. After you have gone.’
After I had gone.
