Page 7 of The Dolce Vita Divas
‘When she mentioned the Cumberland sausage surprise…’
‘How surprising can a sausage be?’
‘I do hope we find out,’ I said, wiping my eyes.
There was no doubt about it – we were going to have fun.
2
Far too excited to join the queue for the lifts, we dragged our cases upstairs. The staircase was a thing of great size and beauty, carved and decorated with swags of leaves and bunches of grapes and wide enough to accommodate a car if one could have got through the new fire doors.
Ahead of us stretched a long wide corridor lined with massive portraits of stern-looking women in elaborate dresses, and at the end we found our rooms.
With mounting excitement, we went in and then came out again like over-excited kids to look at each other’s. Our rooms were huge, high ceilinged, and each had gigantic beds, massive mahogany wardrobes, a television and a dressing table. There was also a mini fridge in a cupboard and on top of that a kettle, coffee maker and a wicker basket filled with cookies and bags of crisps. Each room had its own bathroom with complicated lighting that came on automatically, and there was an assortment of toiletries on a shelf in front of a massive ormolu mirror. It was all looking very positive indeed.
‘Well, this is great,’ Susie said, coming into my room a few minutes later. ‘Much nicer than I thought. I’m guessing these were the posh people’s bedrooms back in the day. I’ve even unpacked my stuff properly and put it all away. I don’t usually bother. I feel quite grand.’
I went to look out of the bay window and down at the sweeping expanse of lawns beyond the driveway. A coach had just arrived, and a harassed-looking driver was encouraging the passengers off, while another man was lugging their cases out from the storage area at the back. After a bit of jostling, some of them reclaimed their walking sticks and frames and went inside.
‘There’s a whole coachload of trouble just arrived,’ I said. ‘About forty people. Do you think they will be trying to score drugs too?’
‘I do hope so,’ Susie said, coming to stand next to me. ‘I’ve never tried cocaine and often wondered about it. I mean, I wouldn’t obviously, but perhaps people their age – pensioners – think, what the hell.’
‘What do you mean, people their age?Weare pensioners. They are probably the same age as us!’
‘No, people my age look much older than me,’ she replied, shaking her head. ‘We are never going to be old. I’ve decided.’
‘Too late,’ I said, watching as a sprightly grey haired gentleman slapped at the coach driver’s hands as he tried to help him down the steps.
I smiled at his obvious indignation and his determination not to be treated like an old person. Perhaps I could learn something from that.
‘Isn’t this lovely?’ Susie said after a while. ‘Shall we go downstairs and explore? It’s four thirty. Perhaps we could have afternoon tea.’
‘Or cocktails?’ I said. ‘If we are going to have fun, why shouldn’t we start immediately?’
Her eyes brightened. ‘Good idea, if the bar is open.’
‘With this lot? I’ll bet you ten quid it is. I’ll just send Alex a text to let him know we got here okay. He said he might have a friend from work over this evening.’
‘New girlfriend? Well, that’s nice,’ Susie said. ‘Anyone you need to know about?’
‘I don’t know, he was a bit vague about that,’ I said. ‘Probably not. Alex has got very secretive since he broke up with Tallulah.’
Susie bent towards me. ‘You can tell me now they are getting divorced – that’s not her real name, is it?’
I chuckled. ‘No, she’s actually called Bertha, after a great aunt. Something to do with a will.’
‘I thought as much.’
* * *
The bar was in the grandly named Sir John’s Library and was decorated with big armchairs, stuffed pheasants in glass cases and wallpaper printed with old books. There were already a few people sitting around the tables; the men with pints of beer and their wives nipping excitedly at schooners of sherry.
At the end of the room were two small sofas, too big for one but not big enough for two, which no one wanted to sit in, possibly because they were too low to get out of easily, so we nabbed those and almost immediately a girl dressed in a grey polo shirt and black trousers came over to ask what we would like.
‘Two cosmopolitans,’ Susie said, without any hesitation, and the girl smiled her approval as she put down paper coasters.
‘Start as you mean to go on, ladies,’ she said, ‘and it’s happy hour too. Much more fun to have a half price cocktail than a half price pot of tea.’
