Page 80 of Sisters Making Mischief
‘Vintage tablecloths, we have several, each more beautiful than the last.’
At this exciting development Marcel leapt up and sank his teeth into the trailing end of it, dragging Isabel off balance. She fell over into the display of watering cans, and she landed with an outraged ‘ow’and a shriek. Antoine joined in, leaping over her to have a tussle with Marcel, which ended up with him sitting on my sister’s head.
I howled with laughter and then stopped filming and went to help her up.
‘That flipping hurt you daft dogs,’ she shouted, rubbing her hip.
‘It was very funny though,’ I said, trying to stop laughing.
‘It’s not supposed to be funny, I’m trying to sell stuff,’ she said.
‘Right, let’s try again,’ I said, putting the watering cans back into a row. I started filming again. ‘Sell me that painting, the one of the old bloke on the horse.’
Isabel made a dismissive noise. ‘No one’s going to buy that, I’ve had it for five years. He looks like an axe murderer out on bail.’
‘Escaping on his horse, people like paintings of horses, and there’s a dog.’
‘If you look closely, that dog has five legs,’ Isabel said, ‘the artist forgot to paint one out.’
‘Or perhaps the dog did have five legs? Let’s try outside where the light is better,’ I said.
We lugged the painting outside between us where the sun was shining and Isabel’s washing was blowing in the wind, like an advertisement for fabric conditioner. She propped the painting up on an upturned wheelbarrow and I realised I hadn’t turned the recording off, and I was still filming. I wondered briefly if it was possible to edit such things. Isabel was obviously getting into her stride now.
‘This is a significant piece from the— ooh, nineteenth century and it could be a picture of a very important man. You can tell that because he has a big horse with a very snorty nose, and a dog?—’
‘With five legs,’ I added.
‘Five-legged dogs were much sought after and very rare,’ Isabel agreed, ‘and hard to catch. This is an ideal decorator’s piece, in the original gilt and what’s it called – ormolu frame that would add sophistication and charm to any room.’
‘And is it reasonably priced?’ I prompted.
‘It is indeed. Only one— two hundred euros. Including the string at the back, which is original, nineteenth century rope.’
I started laughing again and Isabel made some more ‘displaying’ gestures with her hands, which was all the encouragement Marcel needed. He leapt at the painting, knocking it sideways and Isabel grabbed at it, falling over the wheelbarrow with a scream. I prodded at a few buttons on thephone and only managed to flip it around and start filming myself.
‘Oh, for heaven’s sake,’ I said. And then I stopped filming.
‘I don’t think we are very good at this,’ she said, pulling herself to her feet.
‘It’s only our first attempt,’ I said, ‘let’s try one more. What about all those salt and pepper sets. The novelty ones in the wooden box.’
‘Well, okay, but this time you can do the talking and I’ll film you,’ she said.
The house clearance Isabel had been to had evidently been from a house where the owner had like collecting knick-knacks. Amongst these were about five cruet sets in frankly odd and slightly rude designs. We fetched them all and laid them out on the kitchen table, after first putting an embroidered cloth down, carefully positioned to hide the fang marks that Antoine had left on one corner.
Marcel crept into the kitchen with us and rested his snout on the end of the table.
‘Go on then,’ Isabel said, ‘sell me those.’
‘These are some of the most collectable items,’ I said, rather unconvincingly, ‘people come from far and wide to see our wonderful selection of novelties.’
‘Rare novelties,’ Isabel interrupted.
‘Rare, some might say extraordinary novelties, which are very popular with… people. Collectors.’
My mind went blank for a moment, and I looked at Isabel with a fixed grin wondering what to say next.
‘And I know the gnome is your favourite,’ she prompted me, ‘go on.’
