Page 37 of Razor
She checked around, trying to see if anyone listened to their conversation. Reassured that no one was eavesdropping, Honey bent over the table as well. “Maybe we should talk about this some other time.”
“We can talk about sex any time you wish. Did I miss something when we made love earlier? Did I hurt you or make you uncomfortable?” Razor couldn’t leave it alone. This was too important.
“I’m really messing this up. I shouldn’t have said anything.”
“You can tell me anything, Honey. I need to know if I did something you didn’t enjoy.”
“No. You were amazing. I loved how you made me feel. Sex was different with you. More like….” Her voice trailed off as she visibly struggled for words to explain how she felt.
His level of concern dropped tremendously. “More like making love than sex?” he asked.
“Yes.”
“And you’re concerned it won’t always be that good?” he guessed.
“No. You’ll make it incredible for me. But what if I can’t make it that way for you?”
The pieces of the puzzle snapped into place for him. “You’re worried your MS will keep you from pleasing me?”
“Yes. Sometimes I don’t have any energy. My muscles are all wacky. I get cramps, and my legs stiffen up. Or they turn to jelly. What if that happens during sex?”
“Anyone can get leg cramps or become uncomfortable. You tell me if something happens while we’re making love. We’ll adjust positions so you’re more comfortable. Just like you would insist we do if I got a charley horse in my calf.”
“It’s that simple?” Honey asked, looking hopeful. She picked up a fry and popped it into her mouth.
“It is. Stuff happens to everyone, Little girl. The key is to talk to me. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable or be intimate with me simply because you think I’m expecting it. I plan to be buried deep inside you as often as it brings both of us pleasure.”
“But with a regular…. With a regular girlfriend, sex would be so much easier,” she protested weakly.
“You are my Little girl. That’s way beyond a regular girlfriend,” he said, emphasizing her words. “Sex is rarely easy. It’s messy, exhilarating, heart-rending, sweet, casual, explosive, right, wrong…. Do I need to keep adding adjectives?”
Honey shook her head. She took a bite of her hamburger and chewed, studying his face intently. After swallowing, she admitted, “You’re so different from anyone I’ve met before.”
“People have told me that my entire life. The question is, am I too weird for you?” Razor tried to look casual as he waited for her answer. He raised a fry to her lips. Caring for her satisfied something deep inside him.
“Of course not.” She opened her mouth to accept the treat. Honey studied him as she enjoyed it. “I have to ask. Are you sure you realize what you’re getting into? You know…. Dating a girl with an incurable disease?”
“Doctor, remember? I’ve memorized all the symptoms and possibilities. I’m also aware of the latest discoveries and medicines to fight this disease. We’ll try anything safe you wish.”
“We’ll try?” she repeated, studying his face.
“Everyone needs someone to go to important appointments with them to have another set of ears to digest the information. Or a person to bounce around the pros and cons of different treatments. Have you had a support team before? Do you have family who help?”
“Not really. My parents retired to Arizona. They’re several hours away by plane. I see them now mainly at Christmas. Not every year.”
“Why not more often?” Razor probed.
“Money and energy.”
“Gotcha. My folks are about an hour away by car. They have a gigantic home on a lake.”
“Do your sisters still live with them?”
“No, my sisters have their own houses on the other side of town in suburbia. They don’t understand the Devil Daddies MC, but they love me.”
“That’s all that matters, isn’t it?” she asked.
“It really is.” Razor reached a hand across the booth to cup her cheek. “I’m so glad I found you, Little girl.”
