Page 136 of Every Silent Lie
“Mine,” Dec murmurs. “He’s mine.”
For a moment, I’m completely lost. “Yours?” I ask over a little laugh.
“Okay, little fella.” Dec goes to Blaine and takes Albi, and then all eyes are on me as I stand before my audience like a fucking clueless idiot, my mind empty.
“He can’t be yours.” I look at Albi again and realise what I’ve just said is categorically incorrect. He’s the absolute spitting image of Dec. “Oh my God.” It’s said on a breath as I step back away from them. “You would have told me,” I murmur. “If you had a little boy, you would have told me.” He’s told me he loves me. He’s told me I’m his girlfriend.
“I didn’t know how,” Dec murmurs, not coming closer. Keeping a safe distance.
I look at April and Blaine, as I struggle to breathe. I feel like a freakshow standing here. Being judged. Being pitied.
He has a little boy.
He has a four-year-old little boy.
And I can’t stop staring at him.
“Daddy.” Albi’s little hands land on Dec’s cheeks, forcing him to look at him. “Who is that lady?”
Dec smiles, and it’s so uncomfortable, as he takes both of Albi’s little hands in one of his and pulls them away from his face. “She’s a special friend.”
“Like Petal’s my special friend?”
“Do you love Petal?”
“Yes.”
“Then she’s like Petal,” Dec says, flicking cautious eyes my way. Then he visibly gathers himself and puts Albi on his tiny feet. “Why don’t you go find me my cufflinks?”
“But you’re already wearing cufflinks, Daddy,” Albi says, shoving up the sleeve of Dec’s jacket to reveal one.
“Ah, but I put on the wrong ones.”
Albi bends, getting up close and personal with the cufflink. “These are your important ones.”
“And I meant to put on my really important ones. Do you think you could help Daddy out and go fetch them for me?”
“Yes!” He zooms off, excited, and the moment the little bundle of energy has gone, the kitchen is even heavier, all attention on my spaced-out form.
I look between them all, adrenaline making me shake violently under their scrutinizing, sympathetic gazes. “I have to go,” I blurt, feeling a full-blown meltdown on the horizon. I absolutely can’t control it, and I certainly don’t want Dec or his sister and her husband to see it.
“Camryn,” Dec breathes urgently as I grab my purse and hurry past them.
“It was nice to meet you,” I say to April and Blaine over my shoulder, feeling the walls closing in on me.
“Camryn, wait.”
Why didn’t he tell me? I swing the door open and rush out in a haze of total fucking confusion. I don’t know how I get down the steps without slipping and breaking my neck, but I make it to the street, and I don’t recall one step of the way. I start to walk aimlessly. No coat. In my cream heels. The cold hits me like a boulder, and I’m suddenly shaking like a leaf for different reasons—chilled to my bones—my feet sopping wet and like blocks of ice within just a few strides.
“Camryn!”
I turn around, but it’s slow and heavy, the temperature hampering me. I can’t hold on to my emotions anymore, and the tears pour out of me unstoppably. “You should have told me,” I murmur, making Dec skid to an abrupt stop a few paces away. “You should have fucking told me, Dec.”
He swallows, his handsome face crestfallen. “Camryn, please.”
“Just leave me alone.” I turn and walk away, the pain I’ve managed to handle all day swooping in and making up for it.
Agony.
