Page 6 of Sigma
Even the shortened sound of her name fucks with me.
“She should know,” he says, looking me dead in the eye.
I scratch the stubble on my jaw and grind my teeth.
“We’ll tell her after you go.”
“Don’t.”
His face reddens. “Man, this didn’t sit well with me when everything went down after Tyson’s wedding. Everything else that’s been goin’ on since then took priority, but if she’s bein’ robbed of her fated mate, she should know. I’d wanna know if it were me. I care about her.”
I bristle. No. More than bristle.
“She’s a friend of mine,” he tacks on, but it’s too late to reel those other words he said back in. I’m already processing them. Because she’s supposed tofuckingbe mine.
I haven’t even set eyes on her, only caught her scent and I know. I fucking know. I can’t set eyes on her. I can’t ask Linc what she looks like, because I shouldn’t know. But he knows. He knowsintimatelywhat she looks like. He knows exactly what she looks like, smells like, not to mention – FUCK!
Tastes like. He fucking knows what my mate feels like and tastes like.
Freezing cold wraps around me first, immediately followed by that painful dry ice burning sensation shunting through my system, filling me, consuming this form and I know my pupils are narrowing to slits because I’ve been in front of a mirror or watched my reflection in a lake many times when it starts to happen.
“Jared!” he snaps with alarm.
Shit. SHIT!
I’m tackled before the blackness seeps all the way in. Electrical currents vault through my system while my muscles convulse and the iron snaps around my neck first, containing me.Thank fuckis my next thought before I black out.
When my eyes open, I’m aware it’s only the neck iron holding me and I’m relieved it was enough to contain it.
I hear, “Time for a talk.” And it’s not Linc’s voice. It’s Tyson’s. He’s standing over me with Linc and Joel. Their eyes are hard. Their jaws are set in stone.
***
I’m dropped off at my truck while Linc goes into my trailer to get me another pair of shoes. I wave goodbye, but they all follow me to the motel parking lot before turning off to head back home.
Linc leveled with Joel and Tyson and will be talking to Mason, Grey, and Riley in the morning when they go for their morningrun. Jase is out of town, but they’ll get a vote when he touches ground. They’ll vote on whether or not they’ll tell her about me.
Tyson surprised me by saying he wants me to stay, thinks it’s all happening for a reason, that Fate wants me here, that I wouldn’t be recognizing her as my mate if it weren’t meant to be. And that he thinks I’m meant to be in this pack otherwise Linc’s wolf would’ve wanted to push through, for self-preservation.
But that’s not what happened with them either when they saw my locked down wolf. They all had the same reaction as Linc did the first time he saw the monster in me.
By the look in Tyson’s eyes when I woke up, I figured the conversation would go differently. That there would be threats before they ran me off. Even from Joel – the hardness in his expression would tell anyone he’s not to be trifled with.
Joel said he’d support my staying (not that I’ve asked to stay) if we could ensure everyone’s safety. He also thinks we should talk to the others and if Riley and Greyson agree, we should approach Riley’s mate about the issue and approach her sister who can read by touch to see what might be gleaned about me, which could lead to the Young coven sisters helping me find a way to claim my mate safely.
Just hearing those words on Joel’s mouth had me teetering between rage and need. Rage, because I’ve long known I could never have a mate, nothing beyond casual, which has never felt like enough. Rage because I know my fated mate is within reach and it’s taking every ounce of my self-control to stay away. Rage because why has Fate done this to her? She can’t be near me, can’t be vulnerable to the wolf inside me who could surface and cause irreparable harm.
Alphas mark their mate’s throat. If I could manage to stay lucid enough through mating and a first knot, there’s no wayI’d stay that way through giving the mate mark and tasting her blood. There are things I’ve found trigger the monster in me, but nothing triggers it like blood does. And her scent is another trigger, evidently, so I probably couldn’t get through a mating and a knot. It’d be over before it even got started. I’d be responsible for yet another innocent’s death.
But the need I feel. The stark, visceral need…
Tyson posed the question, “What if … hear me out… what if you need your mate to help your wolf function properly? Riley’s wolf pushed through and took over when he wouldn’t claim his woman.”
I countered with, “I have zero control over it. No recollection of what happens when I shift, but I know from the trail of blood, gore, and bones when I get back to this form that the beast in me is broken. I don’t know exactly what Linc said to you guys, but you know your wolf is an extension of you, your animal side, the part of you that connects you to nature, to magic. My wolf isn’t that for me. It’s a monstrosity. A rage-filled apex predator that can smell even a drop of blood in an ocean. It wants only to hunt and kill. I can’t let it out anywhere near your village. And I don’t know if it’d emerge against my will if I set eyes on her. I won’t take the chance.”
Tyson said, “Man, you have no idea what you’re missing with having a mate. These two can’t tell you. Yet. But I can.”
“I’d rather you didn’t,” I said bitterly.
