Page 36 of Sigma
I don’t know her very well, but I feel like I need her to answer this question.
She reaches for my hand, and I give it to her. She holds it for a minute, and I know she’s reading things about me. And it’s strange, but I feel completely comfortable with her doing so. She smiles before she sniffles, then says, “That man is not just full of pain. He’s full of longing, Cicely. I think he wants you more than anything he’s ever wanted. He’s afraid. Terrified of what his wolf could do. A big part of him is a complete stranger to him. And it’s like living with the boogeyman, you know? The kind of thing everyone fears will get them is directly inside him, ready to strike at any moment.”
“Do you know why his wolf is like it is?”
She shakes her head. “I saw a lot of trauma. A lot of pain. Self-loathing. I saw vignettes of the night his family died through his eyes and–”
I can tell by her face it was beyond ugly.
Grey steps up and speaks. “Didn’t see anything from the eyes of his wolf. It’s completely disconnected from his memories. Didn’t see the whys beyond seeing an immense amount of abuse.”
Ronnie looks at him and frowns before she nods. “Yes.”
Grey continues as he moves closer. “The amount of trauma… I’m no expert but it looks like some sort of personality split.”
“Possibly,” Ronnie says. “Your wolves instinctively want to protect you. I feel your wolf when I touch you, and it also feels like you. His… it’s not there for me. I’d probably have to touch him in that form to feel it.”
Her expression shows she does not want to do that.
Grey adds, “Mostly felt things from his childhood. Fear. Anger. Pain. Saw flashes of abuse from his alpha. Pain from the loss of his father, maybe. We need more information about where he comes from and what the dynamics were there.”
They’re all piling into their cars and leaving. Dad comes out of the bunker.Shit. I didn’t see him go in. What did he say to Jared?
“Dad?” I ask.
“Call if you need anything,” Dad says and gets into Cat’s car. He looks ticked.
Linc steps up and gets in front of me, ordering, “Be safe. If you go back in there, make sure he puts that muzzle on before you get within reaching distance.”
Cat is driving away with Dad. Shit. What did Dad say?
“Sis?” Linc calls, acting irritated that I’m not giving him my full attention.
“You need to stop bossing me around!” I point at him, not hidingmyirritation. “You and I are no longer a thing and that meansit’s no longer okay. I’m a fully-grown adult with a brain in my head. I’m capable of making decisions.”
Linc’s expression makes me feel immediately guilty. Yes, he was always bossy when we fooled around. I got off on it there and reminded him whenever he’d pull that alpha stuff with me outside of fooling around that it only applied to the bedroom with me. I know in this case here, it comes from protectiveness, instinct, and Linc’s nature - not from entitlement because of our past.
“Do you get how I feel responsible here?” he asks.
“Absolutely. And in a way, you are.”
He winces like I’ve landed a direct hit.
“But I know you,” I say quickly. “I know you’re loyal and caring and you give a shit about the both of us, so I think I have a good understanding of how this went. How torn you must have felt. I saw it the last few times you wouldn’t look at me. I knew something was up. I just pegged it wrong, thinking you were gearing up for your turn to mate so trying to push me away. I’m sure you struggled.”
“Fuck, did I…” he mutters, pulling off his baseball cap and running his hand through his dark hair.
“How the drama from Grey’s mating got in the way of clear heads prevailing. How Jared himself is even more responsible than you are because he couldn’t make himself leave, couldn’t convince himself to go because deep down he probably knows this is where he belongs. With me. And I think… with all of us.”
“You think so, too,” Linc says.
“A pack like ours where people who don’t fit into the regular shifter mold can feel accepted? Absolutely. Thank you for trying to help. Thank you for all you’ve done so far despite how hard it’sbeen. I know you were torn between your friendship for him, my safety, and your responsibilities, how protective you are for the pack. But please, Linc, stop telling me what to do. I get it. I get the big picture. And I’ll make my own decisions.”
“We didn’t think you’d show there where he set up his camp. Had no reason to think it or I would’ve–”
“Woulda, shoulda, coulda. I showed up because that’s how it was supposed to go. How else is all this gonna get fixed?”
Linc smiles. “We’ll dig into his past, his pack. Cat has Mitch Blakely looking into medical cases. We didn’t reveal much, but he immediately guessed who she was asking about because he quizzed Jared in Silver Hills for being a scentless alpha. He used to wear a beta pheromone around shifters but felt confident enough around us to skip it. Blakely showing was a surprise to him and it threw him off. He didn’t want the SCC knowing about his wolf. Cat didn’t say he mated, just that we want to know about anomalies that could cause an alpha to have no scent, to have no connection to his wolf, no recollection while shifted. Never said the wolf was dangerous. Keep you posted.”
