Page 81 of Under the Mistletoe
“I can’t be locked up,” she immediately claps back.
“Jessica, you’re not leaving this apartment at all,” I reiterate.
“Donovan…” she warns, and my mixed feelings grow.
“Don’t push me on this,” I tell her, not messing around. “I don’t want you hurt. I don’t want you threatened, I don’t want you upset, I don’t even want you fucking cold in the rain, Jessica… I want you here. I want you with me. I want you protected, I want you thriving, I just want you… I love you. I have completely fallen head over heels for you. And now that I have you, there’s no way that anyone is going to touch you.”
She looks up at me, blinking behind her glasses, and I move my hand, pushing them back up her nose for her so I can see her better. My heart races. I already told her I loved her, but that was a slip of the tongue at Thanksgiving. That caught both of us off guard. But right now, right here, she needs to know she matters.
“I love you too…” she says softly, and I still.
“You do?” I can’t believe it. I don’t remember the last time someone told me they loved me. Not with so much honesty.
“I do. I love everything about you. I love the way you protect me. I love the way you have your morning coffee while watching the stock market. I love the little hair flick you do. I love the way you eat a whole bag of chocolate-coated coffee beans like caffeine withdrawal personally offends you. I love the way you bought a little plastic mistletoe…”
I can’t stop the grin that forms as I look at her adoringly before I sneak a look at the plastic mistletoe that I hung in our kitchen walkway. It’s staying because, while I don’t need an excuse to kiss this woman, I sure as hell want to spend all my energy making her smile. Making her happy. Making her mine.
“Hmmm, but most of all, I just love all of you.”
My heart bursts. I couldn’t have found a more perfect woman than this one right here.
I pull her close, my lips touching hers, and everything else fades. I feel her hands run up my arms before they loop around my neck and our kiss turns brandishing. As the city lights twinkle below, we stand among spreadsheets and papers and her perfectly organized mess and seal our feelings.
“Wow…” She pulls back slowly, looking at me a little love-drunk.
“Mmmmmmm.” I have no words. But then my eyes hook on her notepad, and I come back to reality.
“Show me what you’ve got. Then we need to make a plan.” I whip off my suit jacket and sit next to her on the floor in the living room as she takes me through everything.
She’s right. Everything is here in black and white. Now I don’t know what in the world to do about it. Because we can use this. It’s the right thing to do. The responsible thing to do. But if we hand all this over to the police, it opens a large can of worms and an even bigger target. Right on our heads. And while I don’t care about me, I don’t want harm to come to Jessica. Because if it does, I know I won't survive that. They might as well just put a bullet right through my chest.
34
Jessica
I pull my glasses away, putting them on the table and rubbing my eyes. I feel like I’ve been staring at my laptop for hours, and as I look at my watch, noticing it’s close to midnight, I realize I have been.
“I don’t think there’s much else we can do tonight.” Donovan puts down the paperwork he was reviewing. He’s right. We’ve been through everything twice. We’ve typed up our summary, and we have saved all the information on external private drives. Made copies. Donovan will now take over what will happen with it all. The bulk of my work is now done.
“You alright?”
I look at him. The man at my side. The one who makes me feel whole. Complete. Like I have someone in my life who loves me just for being me—the girl who loves spreadsheets, the news channel, and working at the sprinkler shop on Saturdays.
“I’m fine,” I reassure him, like I have all night. And I am. I’m probably in the most protected place I can be, high up in the sky, layers of protection between me and the ground. No one can get to me here.
“Let’s go take a shower. I feel like we need to wash away the day.” He stands, holding out his hand, and I take it with ease. As I stand, his hand scoops around my waist, and he pulls me to his chest, my feet dangling. I grin as he walks us down the hall.
“I can walk, you know…” I run my hand through his hair, admiring his good looks.
“I know… I just like carrying you around.”
I laugh, even though it isn’t a full laugh. The pressure of today feels too real, too frightening, too much.
“I’ll break your back.” I toy with him as he places me down in the bathroom and turns on the shower.
“Worth it.” He winks and unbuttons the shirt I’m wearing. One of his. When I got here this afternoon, I needed comfort. So I stripped off my work attire, put on his shirt, and threw my hair up into a topknot and got to work. Now as he pulls the shirt from my frame, his large warm hands feel so good against my skin.
“Mmmmmm… that feels nice…” My eyes close as his large palms run up and down my torso before they move around my back and unclip my bra. The sound of rushing water, the warmth of the steam and bathroom lights, his hands on my body as they scoop over my shoulders, pulling my bra from my frame, I start to relax.
