Page 122 of A Love That Broke Us
I sniff loudly, but I’m not the only one. There’s not a dry eye in the room. Jensen wipes at his face with the back of his hand, and for the first time in a long time, a calmness settles over me.
This woman isn’t a bad person. She’s a mother. She loves her kids. She just got caught in the web. Most of those people out on the streetsdidn’t start that way. They all had lives. People who loved them. Dreams. Homes. Families.
Addiction can steal even the purest of souls. It takes them slowly, piece by piece, until they can’t remember where they came from, let alone how to get back. Their soul gets buried so deep, they forget where to even start looking.
She sits down, and Jensen stands.
He walks to the front of the room, and I swallow my shock as he takes center stage.
“Hi, I’m Jensen.”
“Hi Jensen,” everyone echoes.
“And I’m… an addict.” His voice cracks. He swallows, staring out across the room. He exhales a shaky breath, trying not to break in front of everyone. “Sorry,” he chokes out. “It’s my first time actually saying that out loud.”
My breath shudders as a well of tears rises, overflowing and streaming down my cheeks like a river.
“I’m so ashamed,” he says. His voice breaks again, and he presses a hand to his forehead. “I wasn’t gonna come tonight, but my wife… She saw me last night at my lowest.”
His eyes find mine. I nod, encouraging him.
“I used two hours ago. So I don’t even know if I belong here yet. Sorry. I don’t know if I’m supposed to say that.” He lets out a breath. “Anyway, I want to stop. I just don’t know how. That’s all.”
He walks back and slides into his seat.
My hand finds his, and I grip it, tight and strong.I’m right here.
Jensen brings my hand to his lips, pressing a kiss to the back of it. I offer him a small smile. And right now, I believe we might actually be okay.
I love him. He’s my best friend, and together, we can get through anything.
A few more people get up to speak and then Grant closes with a few remarks, then asks everyone to stand to recite the serenity prayer again.
“God grant me…”
Chapter Thirty-Eight
ALLEY
THEN—ELEVEN MONTHS AGO
SEPTEMBER
I stepout of the shower, wrap my hair in a turban, and slide my arms into my robe.
After going through my skincare routine, I brush out my hair and tip my head forward, starting the blow dryer.
It’s almost ten a.m., and Jensen should be home by one. He had to fly to Boston yesterday to meet with a potential client. He only travels for work a handful of times a year, but of course, this trip had to fall on Zach and Joey’s wedding weekend.
He lands at noon. It’s cutting it close, but we should still be fine. As long as there are no delays.
I flip my head upright, using the dryer and my brush, smoothing and adding volume.
He’s clean. It’s been six weeks. I was nervous about the trip, but I guess it’s no different than him being at work here. He kicked it. It was brutal and ugly, but he did it.
After that first AA meeting, he went from four pills a day to three the following week. I helped him when he got home. He was grouchy,short-tempered, and didn’t feel well. That Friday, he worked from home, and cut them cold turkey. I took the day off to be with him. To babysit him, basically.
By Monday, he was in the thick of it. Wednesday night, he finally started turning a corner. He worked from home the rest of the week. Matt stayed with him while I was at work. It was a nightmare. But we got through it.
