Page 49 of Caden & Theo
I stare at him, caught between logic and disappointment. “I just… I thought maybe you’d pick here. You applied here. You got in. We wouldn’t have to do long-distance again. It’d be—” I stop myself before I sayperfect.
Theo shifts closer. “It’s only an hour away. I can come to home games. We can do weekends. We can text, and call, and write dumb love emails.”
I try to smile. I do.
He takes my hand again, squeezing gently. “You know I’ve been going back and forth on this for months. And yeah, UK’s got a great undergrad program. But Louisville’s BA English track is better. Plus, they’ve got a sport admin minor, and the post-grad education certification is top tier.”
“UK has that too,” I mumble, even though I already know his reasons are solid.
“I know,” he says. “But it’s not just that.” He draws in a breath, exhaling unsteadily. “Being here with you every day—don’t get me wrong, that sounds amazing. It’s my dream. Butit’s also scary. Because I know me, Cade. And if I saw you every day—walked by you on campus, ran into you at the rec center, watched you stretch before practice—” His voice drops, low and teasing. “I wouldn’t be able to not touch you.”
That hits me. Hard.
“I could handle the hiding,” he goes on, “but being that close and having to pretend I’m just your best friend or your study buddy? I don’t think I could. And worse—I’d mess up. I’d forget we’re not supposed to be anything. I’d grab your hand or kiss your cheek without thinking.”
I feel that in my gut, because… damn it, he’s right.
“We barely made it through Thanksgiving without giving something away,” he reminds me.
I flash back to the night we hit the ice cream shop back home. It was cold. He looked adorable in my hoodie, licking a cone like it was a challenge. And I—being the idiot I am—reached for his hand while we were walking back to my car. Out in public. Without thinking.
We let go fast—snapped apart like someone’d shocked us—but not before Mrs. Hightower spotted us from across the street. Town gossip number one. We spent the next ten minutes nervously laughing and fake arguing about who owed who ice cream, just to sell our “just horsing around” cover.
I remember the way Theo looked at me afterward. A little hurt. A little scared. Like he already knew this was the part that would suck most.
“I’m not mad,” he says softly. “I get why you’re not out. I do. But I’ve told you since I was fifteen that once I’m out of Gomillion, I’m not hiding anymore. Not at school. Not with friends. I’ve done the quiet thing for years. I’m tired.”
I nod. I want to tell him I’m proud of him. That I love how brave he is. That I wish I was too. But instead, I say, “I hate that I’m not brave enough to be that with you.”
Theo cups the side of my neck, thumb brushing under my jaw. “You’re brave in a hundred ways I’m not. You play in front of thousands of people. You train like your life depends on it. You let the whole world expect greatness from you, and you carry it like it’s nothing.”
“That’s not the same.”
“It’s not. But don’t act like it doesn’t count.”
I close my eyes for a second. “I just wish I could tell people you’re mine.”
He kisses me softly, but it’s deep enough to make my chest ache. “You can,” he whispers against my lips. “Just not the world. Not yet.”
I wrap my arms around him, holding tight. “You’re still mine, though. That doesn’t change.”
“Not even a little,” he says.
For a long time, we don’t talk. We just hold on. Breathing. Letting the weight of it settle without crashing through us.
It’s not the life I imagined. I wish I could give him everything he wants without hiding. Without waiting for someone else to go first. Without worrying that I’ll lose everything if I’m honest.
But Idolove him. That part, at least, is crystal clear.
And I’m his.
Even if hardly anyone else knows it yet.
ELEVEN
THEO
Spring hitsLexington like it’s making up for lost time.
