Page 20 of The Earl and Miss Muffet
Elena stood and moved to look over his shoulder. “So it is.” Anton’s head turned, and their vision connected. His lips curled into a sultry smile, and her eyes dropped to his mouth.
“So who is the winner of this round?” His soft words broke the strange connection between them, and Elena lurched back with surprise.
“Mine is written with greater wit, but yours is unexpected humor, which I can always appreciate.”
“Do we call a tie?” Anton asked.
“Let us see who has found the most inspiring passage. I admit, I did not have time to choose a favorite verse. However, I have the most inspiring book, do I not? I shall open and read the first verse, and we shall see how it compares to yours.” She opened the Bible. “Ah, Psalms. Excellent.Forsake her not, and she shall preserve thee: love her. . .”—Elena hesitated—“. . .and she shall keep thee.”Her cheeks warmed. “I, uh, imagined something of a different nature.”
Anton’s chuckle was low and rich, his gaze soft. “The Bible is full of revelatory passages.” After an extended beat, he pulled a volume onto his lap. “Mine is fromAn Essay Concerning Human Understandingby John Locke. A favorite line says,what worries you, masters you.”
Elena repeated the words in her mind. What worries you, masters you. The truth rang inside of her louder than the clang of bells. She had been a slave to her worries for so long. Images of Bianca taunted her, and she squeezed her eyes shut. Paralyzing words pummeled her mind.You are worthless. The fewer words you say, the less I pity the listener. You were not meant to wear color, since it would be better to blend in with the furniture than for anyone to have to look at you.Years’ worth of criticism flooded through her mind, and her head throbbed with the weight of it.
“Miss Muffet?”
Elena snapped her eyes open. “Yes?”
“You were a thousand miles away just now.”
She gave a sheepish smile, trying to bury the pain her thoughts had resurrected. “Locke knew what he was saying, didn’t he?”
“It’s more a warning than an all-inclusive statement. I should like to think that worrying can motivate change and progression. It’s when it consumes and paralyzes us that we know we are in trouble.”
She swallowed. “Have you ever experienced such a state?”
“Me? Yes. I believe so. When my father died. I remember reading this then, and I promised myself I would not let my fears from my new position hold me back.”
“Your courage is most impressive.”
“I hardly think so. I’ve had my family’s help. When we cannot progress alone, we must look to someone else who can carry us for a time. I discovered these words at the exact moment I needed them, and they could not be counted as coincidence. Divine arms always carry me the longest.”
“I believe you have won, Lord Crawford. I shall forever remember these words. I have great need of them.”
They were both quiet for a moment, before Anton broke the silence. “Let’s forget the wager, shall we? I could never ask you to do anything that would make you uncomfortable.” Anton’s brow creased in the middle. “Should you ever need anything, Miss Muffet, I am your friend.”
The words settled around her heart like a blanket, thawing the ice the flood of memories had caused. “I thank you.” She was suddenly embarrassed under his watchful eye. “Mary and Sophia are likely wondering what is taking me so long.”
“Go ahead, I can clean up in here.”
“Are you sure?” She picked up the Bible and hurriedly returned it to its place.
“Please, go on. I will make a quick work of this.”
“Very well.” She tucked her shawl around her shoulders and pulled it close in front, stalling at the door. “Thank you.” Those two simple words could never encapsulate her gratitude for their morning together, but it was all she had to give him.
She slipped out of the room and sighed. Would she ever meet a man equal to Anton after Bianca married? She would forever be ruined in love, having known what companionship and affection could be like and never having the opportunity to own it for herself.
Chapter 10
SeveraldayspassedwithoutElena meeting Anton at all. He had left to visit an old friend and was supposed to have returned yesterday. Her time at Banbury waned, and she was anxious to spend the duration of her visit with him. In his absence, had he thought of her at all?
She pulled out the thin sketchbook Mary had given her and sat in the drawing room to practice. A moment later, she registered voices just beyond the open door.
“You have returned.” The sweet voice belonged to Sophia. The word return caught Elena’s full attention.
“Just now. Yes.” Anton’s words were short and stilted.
“Did you enjoy your visit?”
