Page 46 of The Rules of Matrimony
What did it mean? Did he resent marrying her? Or had his thoughts gone the same direction as hers?
But surely he would never kiss her again ...
It wasn’t as though he were as affected as she was. He had so much control over himself—over his emotions. But did he ever think of kissing her? Was he thinking of it now? Ian raked his hand through his hair and finished buttoning the top of his shirt. “I’ll see to the screen,” he said before he stalked away.
Chapter 22
Amie didn’t consider herself tobe hiding in the library. The servants knew where she was. No, she was staying out of the line of fire. Lady Kellen had gone to visit a friend she knew who lived a short carriage ride away, leaving the two men to spar with words freely whenever they were in company together. Amie had tended to Gwen, brought a treat to Tiny, and overseen any other hostess duties, but in the end, she had needed a retreat.
Even sewing was preferable to either of the men’s company at the moment. Especially Ian’s. After this morning, she didn’t know what to think of him ... of them. Somehow, something had shifted again, much like it had after their wedding. There had been a heated tension pulling between them all day. They were either looking at each other or trying not to. She needed time to sort it out.
Amie unpacked her sewing basket in search of the handkerchief she was embroidering with her new initials, in case she ever attended any parties or public outings. She shifted her basket and dropped her needle on the ground. Sighing, she set the basket aside and climbed onto her hands and knees to search for her needle. While brushing her hand along the blue Axminister carpet, the door to the library opened. Her tea, finally. The sofa blocked her view of the entering maid, and Amie didn’t dare move her hand from her search to stand or wave her in. With a few more swipes, she finally secured the needle and returned it to its place in the basket on the floor. Suddenly, a voice behind her spoke.
“I haven’t forgotten what’s happened,” Ian said. “How could I?”
Ian? Amie’s whole body cringed. He had found her. And on her hands and knees, as though she were some idiotic baboon! Maybe asking him to sleep upside-down had been too much. Didn’t he realize that she’d done it only to keep his silly rules? She felt like a disobedient puppy ready to be chastised by its master. She kept her head ducked, embarrassed to face him.
His gruff tone changed to a softer one. “My words might take you by surprise since we are little acquainted, but a change must be made.”
A change? Her head tilted an inch to the side.
“You and I are not so dissimilar. In fact, a union between us—an intimate union could make all the difference. I believe—I hope—we feel the same on this subject. Do we not?”
Sweet hope rushed through her. She thought about their almost-kiss that morning. She hadn’t admitted that it had been just that until this moment, but she realized that it meant he had felt something too. Still, she couldn’t move out of her crouched position behind the sofa. Couldn’t answer him. Couldn’t even look at him. As awkward as she was, he was asking her to confess before he did, and she didn’t have the courage. Her heart raced all the same. Could he really want to stop pretending and make a go at their marriage?
“I know so many others hold higher qualifications than I do,” Ian continued, “but the passionate state of my heart is what matters.”
She felt her lips curling into a smile. How modest of him. She did not imagine he had ever been so forthright with his feelings before.
“Please, give me a chance to prove myself,” he begged. Yes, begged. It was nearly Amie’s undoing. “I’ve never asked anything of anyone, but this small favor would mean a great deal to me.”
Her smile came fully this time. She forgot all about wanting to hide and stood up. “Your eloquent words have persuaded me. My answer is yes.”
Ian yelped. His back hit a bookshelf, and a few books tumbled out onto his head. He winced and rubbed a hand through his hair. “Amie, you startled me.”
“I did?” Did he not like her answer? Had he not expected it? But surely he had seen the desire in her eyes that she hadn’t been quite able to hide.
He reached for the books to replace them. “I did not see you there. You were like a ghost, jumping up the way you did.”
“You ... you didn’t see me?”
He shook his head. “What was that you were saying about an answer?”
Her confidence wavered. Had he been practicing his speech to her? “I gave you the answer to your question: yes.”
“My question?” He stared at her, wide-eyed. “Oh, you mean the letter I was dictating to Sir James?”
She frowned deeply, to her very slippers. “Who is Sir James?”
Ian scratched under the cravat at the back of his neck. “Sir James Mackintosh of the House of Commons. Did you think it sounded all right? After my fruitless interview with Robert Peel, I need this to work. It’s really imperative that we work on amending the criminal law together.”
A member of Parliament? Criminal law? She squeezed her eyes shut. How many times must she humiliate herself in front of this man? And on the same day! She had to rethink the particulars of the conversation to see how she possibly thought he was speaking to her, and about them, before she could answer him. Was her heart so deluded that she actually believed he would ever want her? “Oh, fiddlesticks,” she muttered under her breath. “Do you always dictate your letters like this? Or do you usually employ a scribe?”
“No, I prefer to do my correspondence myself. I hoped to get the particulars right before I took up my pen. But the letter seemed to excite you. You must have thought it convincing?”
Too convincing.She had been ready to overlook his failings and try for a real marriage. It was like her father had always told her—shewas too soft-hearted. What she needed right now was a trip to see her father’s headstone so she could talk this confusing situation out. She cleared her throat, a very unladylike thing to do, and forced herself to answer him. “I am only convinced by your dictation that you need my help.”
“Oh?” He gave a short laugh. “Do you have experience with writing to members of Parliament?”
