Page 47 of Married By Twelfth Night
It was from Mother.
Her last letter had been posted shortly after she had arrived in Bath and had not been a positive one. He dreaded hearing that she had somehow worsened because of the trip. He broke the seal and unfolded the paper.
Dearest Richard,
I am writing this letter to set you at ease and tell you how much I am enjoying myself. You might not believe me, but it is true. Bath has been full of pleasant surprises! We have been invited to dine with friends three times this week.Asyou know, I resented you and Bridget for being so eager for me to leave your side, but I am grateful to you now. The company tires me, but not because my spirits are poor. Indeed, it is because I have little to converse about. Over a year of mourning has turned me into a dull companion. I am rallying though, day by day, and I feel stronger than ever. Now all I can think about is my desire to return to Belside. Being here makes me long for it. I cannot truly enjoy anything without wanting to share it with my children.
Thinking of you always,
Mother
A sigh of relief sang from his lips. She was doing better. Guilt quickly followed his sigh. Mother longed for Belside.
He shoved the letter into his waistcoat pocket to remind him to send a reply. He was not in the mindset to do so now. Just the mention of the house and estate drained his energy. He pulled the calendar to him, not needing to count to know how much time he had left—not enough. The lines between the dates were unbendable prison bars, holding him captive to the rules of time. If he was going to marry Ruth, he needed to propose. Tonight. But how could he do so? It was Grace who consumed his thoughts when they were apart. Grace who challenged him to be better. And Grace who made his pulse race at the mere sight of her.
He’d hardly heard a word at church, though he had tried. She was all he could think about.
A second sigh slipped through his lips. They’d created a mess between them, confusing the family and confusing each other. And it was allherfault. A half smile slid over his mouth with the mere thought of her meeting his gaze in church yesterday. She had already woven herself into his family’s hearts, and through goading him, she had secured herself in his too.
She’d ruin everything.
And he wanted her to.
He sat back in his chair and let his gaze wander to the window. In losing Belside, it would save him. Save him from sacrificing his future for his family. She would give him back a chance to have love in his life. But if he chose Grace, he would lose everything else, and so would his family.
He needed advice. Grace would know what to do.
Grace?
How was he supposed to ask her?
He stood, massaging his tired eyes. He needed a nap before dinner. Surely, a little more sleep would help him see reason. Too tired to climb the stairs for dinner, he made his way to the dining room and sprawled out across the sofa.
Chapter 20
Grace should have beenwith her family for Christmas dinner, but as soon as she had mentioned Bridget’s invitation to Mama, she had practically been thrown out the door. After, of course, she had been subjected to Mama’s particular fussing over her hair and dress. She even bore a hint of rouge on her cheeks and a lip salve colored with saffron. She felt almost as decorated as the houses for the holiday.
“What do we do about a chaperone?” Mama worried, while she studied Grace’s reflection at her dressing table.
Grace wrinkled her nose. “Chaperone? At Belside? I have never required one before.”
“Yes, but that was before Mr. Graham began courting you.”
“I wouldn’t call it courting,” she argued. “We have barely established a friendship.” Her feelings said otherwise, but there was nothing official for Mama to be concerned about. It was Belside they were speaking about. Her second home!
“Nonetheless,” Mama began again. “If you were to become engaged to Mr. Graham, I wouldn’t want anyone to discover you had visited there these last weeks without a chaperone.”
Engaged. The word suddenly carried tangible weight.
“I cannot miss Christmas dinner with Mr. Steele, but I do want you to go.” Mama snapped her fingers. “I shallsend Ruth with you.”
“Ruth?” It wasn’t the worst option, but would her sister’s presence remind Richard of his previous desire to marry her? She pushed the concern from her mind. All she required was a moment alone to share her feelings with Richard. Then come what may.
Ruth went along with the plan, and soon the carriage was pulling them both in front of Belside. Cloaked in a night’s winter scene that nearly stole her breath away, the manor stood in frosted glory. Despite the biting temperature, there was nothing cold about the picture in front of her. Lines of snow on the eaves and smoke curling from the chimneys made the large edifice appear cozy and inviting.
“Oh, dear.” Ruth set her gloved hand on her head. “I daresay my headache has worsened.”
“What headache?” Grace shifted her gaze and squinted in the dark to see her sister clearer.
