Page 21 of The Gentleman's Confession
Miles frowned. “I hope it wasn’t hot.”
“It was, but not enough to cause any blisters.”
He winced. “That isn’t like you. He didn’t scare you or bother you in any way?”
She absently rubbed one of her arms. “No, it was all my doing. I am a complete ninny from all these nerves.”
Was she simply trying too hard? She was too levelheaded for such behavior. “Is your vision changing? No vertigo?”
“Nothing but a little damage to my pride. But do not think my problems are going to distract me fromyourbehavior. If you want to see Lisette, why not join us?”
“Have I ever called on Lisette in all these years?” Miles hadn’t meant to pose such a question, but it fell from his lips easily. “Outside of family dinners, which, admittedly, are frequent, or matters of health or the duties of my profession, do you see me single her out?” Even if Jemma had no interest in him for herself, couldn’t she, of all their friends, recognize there was no room for Lisette in his heart?
“No, but I do not judge you for it. I know you are shy where she is concerned.”
“Shy?” He bit his tongue to keep from laughing. Is that what she thought? She wanted him to act honorably and marry Lisette, and he wanted someone to give him permission otherwise.
“Well, yes. I have always wondered if your father had something to do with it too.”
“What would Daniel Jackson have to do with my reservations? If anything, the rector would love to officiate at my wedding.”
“I did not mean Mr. Daniel Jackson, but Mr. Wilson.”
Miles drew back at the mention of his real father.
Jemma had seen what no one else had. It was true his mother had encouraged him to take on his stepfather’s surname to elevate his future opportunities. It was also true that he had never felt himself equal to his friends, whose stations were lofty in comparison to his own; however, his station did not keep him from marrying Lisette, but it did keep him from feeling worthy of Jemma.
“My birth and childhood will always influence me.” He swallowed hard, forcing his tone to stay light. “Another reason you ought to seek lessons from another person. If I haven’t achieved any personal success, I can hardly be an adequate teacher to advise you.”
“We are Rebels, Miles. We see the world differently. We see you differently. None of us thinks any less of you because of your birth. In fact, it is quite the opposite. All of us admire you.”
She said the last part with such feeling, it amazed him. She had no idea the impact of her words and how they eased the old wound he carried. He had never felt worthy of Jemma Fielding, so now he did not know how to respond.
She must have sensed the conversation was growing too personal, because her gaze flitted around. “As I said, you have much to offer. I do not live here year-round, but I have heard all the stories. You’ve helped heal many relationships in the town with your clerical advising. As for me, there is no one’s advice I respect more, so itstillhas to be you as my teacher.”
He shook his head. For a logical woman, she was surprisingly decisive about this absurd notion, but neither could he continue to argue with her about it when he wanted to make the most of their time together “Very well, but only because I enjoy our lively discussions. Did you reach out to your maid, or did you forget that too?”
Jemma grimaced. “I have been under a great deal of stress, but it does not excuse me for not following through. Heaven knows I need the help, what with these wardrobe malfunctions and clumsiness. I want to force this love business along, but I should do it properly, like you suggest. I will do better, I promise. Without a concerted effort, I will never win his affections before we are wed or learn to apply my own heart properly.”
“It cannot be so bad. You will gain your steady ground again soon enough. He would be a fool not to like you.”
She avoided his gaze. “You have to say that.”
He looked away too. “No, I do not. If he is worth pursuing, he won’t care a fig about a few accidents.”
“I suppose. I wish I could know for certain. You couldn’t hear anything through the window, could you?” Her voice was much too curious.
“What?” He whipped his gaze back to hers. With her eyes narrowed like that, he could imagine her thoughts were on the wild end.
“I will only listen in for a moment. After all, if a vicar can do it, an ordinary person like myself shouldn’t feel any shame.” She darted by him before he could object, weaving through the ornamental shrubbery lining the Manning House.
He followed after her. His very un-vicar-like behavior had not been meant to justify her own unladylike decisions. “Jemma!”
But it was too late. She’d reached the window. Hunched down beneath the ledge, she slowly straightened her back until she could see through the corner. She darted back down and waved him nearer.
Shaking his head, he crept closer. “You can’t hear well enough from here. It would be better to listen from the drawing room door.”
Her eyes widened. “Why didn’t you say so to begin with?”
