Page 79 of An Unwitting Alliance
Tom pushed his chair back and stood, his expression curious. “Certainly. Excuse me, Ian.” Circling the table, Tom let himself out of the breakfast room and shut the door behind him. “Is it your mother?”
“No, I haven’t seen her yet this morning.” She balled her hands in her skirt. “I don’t have a good feeling about your trip to the workhouse. I know it’s mad, but I had this terrible dream. Tom, Mr. Longbottom is not a man to be trifled with. There has to be another way.”
Tom stood quiet for a moment, concern for her reflecting in his eyes. “Is there anything I can say that would reassure you?”
“That you will not act until you have a solid plan.”
Tom’s forehead bunched together. “Just like the urgency you feel to return the pearls, I feel that same anxiety to relieve two people from their suffering and find a way to bring hope to hundreds of others in that workhouse. I cannot get Alan’s face out of my mind. He needs me. And I am not needed very often.”
“But you and your friends could get hurt. Or become ill yourselves.”
Tom’s face softened. “Come with us. You can stay with the other women and Nancy in the carriage. You will see that all will be well.”
“I would go mad with worry. It is better for me to stay here, where I can be useful.”
“But you will support me in this?” Tom’s gaze pled with her.
She wanted to say no and yes at the same time. The fact that he even asked must mean something. “I... I am working on it.”
“Thank you.” His jaw tightened, making his features far too solemn.She had never seen him so determined.
A shiver ran through her. Had the rain chased away all the warmth in the air? Or was the sudden chill another foreboding sign? “But you will consider all the options, Tom? A few more hours to discover a better, safer way could not hurt.”
A simple shake of his head caused her heart to sink. “Every moment I sit comfortably in this house with my idle chatter and full stomach, they continue to suffer. I’m leaving, Cassie, but I will return, as promised, at nuncheon.” He spoke the words evenly and with greater patience than she currently possessed, but they were also delivered with an abundance of passion.
Gritting her teeth, she attempted to squelch her frustration, as he was surely doing for her, but it was no use. Not with her nightmare fresh in her mind and Tom acting all heroic. “I cannot believe I am marrying someone I am constantly at odds with.”
She saw Tom flinch as soon as her jab was spoken. “We do not have to be at odds.”
“We argue in almost every conversation.”
“It’s mostly you, to be fair.”
She raised her brow and folded her arms against herself. “You just proved my point.”
“I was jesting, Cassie.”
“What if I cannot always tell when you are jesting and when you are serious? Like today, for example. What you are doing is very serious, but I am not sure if you realize it. If anything happens...” Her lungs expanded and collapsed at a rapid pace. Now was not the time to fall apart. “Oh, I don’t know. I am not sure of anything anymore. Everything is so confusing. You and me and this engagement. I don’t know if I am more worried about us or this morning’s events. I’ve lost any concept of where we end or where we began. And now I’m begging you to listen to me because of a silly nightmare.”
When she finished, she focused on evening her breathing and holding back the tears threatening to escape.
He cupped her upper arms and rubbed his hands up and down them. “I would be worried if it weren’t confusing.”
His touch reminded her to breathe again. “That makes even less sense.”
“I am very good at not making sense.”
She glared at him.
With a chuckle, he added, “Shall I do my best to clarify?” When she gave a weary nod, his smile grew. He stopped rubbing her arms and curled his hands gently around her. “Very well, then. You wanted a different life for yourself, as did I. We were thrown together unexpectedly, and we both set a course to cut ties. But despite your nonsense of giving up your dream for motherhood to become a spinster and my ridiculous attempts to assist you... something inside of us started to connect in the very way our parents hoped. We can make all the plans we want, but plans can change, Cassie.” He paused, his voice lowering. “Hearts can change.”
Absent was any thread of teasing or sign of insincerity. He had her full attention. She held perfectly still, hoping and waiting for what he would say next.
He released one arm and brought his hand to her face, his thumb carefully wiping away a tear from the corner of her eye, which she had not even known had gathered there. Sliding his hand to the back of her neck, he let it rest there. “We might be at a crossroads emotionally, but we are still contracted to be married. I, for one, am not ready to walk away. We owe it to ourselves and to each other to give this a little more time.”
His words were doing their part to soothe the angst whirling inside her, but her eyes had not received the message, and they began leaking of their own accord. “Will time also mean less arguing?”
He leaned forward until his forehead rested against hers. “I prefer to think of it as expressive communication.” Only he could simultaneously settle her and upend her with his words and touch. But how dearly she loved the way he could spin even the most depressing and worrisome situation into something positive.
