Page 6 of An Unwitting Alliance
“He did have his disagreeable moments.” Tonight being the worst of them.
“Yes, and his appearance was lacking.”
“I could tolerate it before, but now I find I agree with you.”
“I daresay his nose was a good centimeter too long. Think of the trouble it would cause when kissing him.”
Cassandra smirked. “Then, I should be grateful tonight ended as it did because of his nose?”
“I am glad we are of the same opinion.” Aunt yawned and leaned her head back against the seat. “You were perfectly justified in stomping on his foot.”
She cringed. “You saw that?”
“I had a front-row seat.”
Cassandra sighed. If she hadn’t been charmed by a stranger and danced with him, she might have stayed longer at the ball. Her added time with Mr. Gibbons could have swayed his heart, and the outcome of her night—her very future—might have been so very different. No, even as she thought it, she did feel the tiniest breath of relief that she wouldn’t have to be tied to him. But, oh, all this wasted time chasing after the wrong man! How it hammered her pride and sense of worth deeper into the shallow bed it was already lying on. She had meant to engage herself to a man to free her parents from the added financial burden of supporting her. She’d failed herself and them. She waited until her aunt fell asleep before allowing her tears to flow freely. A small sob escaped, and she covered her mouth with her hand.
“Why do people always wait until they think no one is looking to cry?” Aunt tsked her tongue.
Cassandra looked up to see her aunt’s eyes half-lidded but open.
She’d been caught. “We do so because we do not care to be comforted by advice, good or otherwise. We simply want to let it out.” Her voice caught on her last word.
“Go ahead and get it all out, then, dear.” Aunt leaned forward and extended her handkerchief.
Cassandra accepted the square of linen and dabbed at her face. It took little effort for her sorrow to turn back to anger as she recalled the stranger who had used her for some tomfoolery. And worse, she had been introduced to his friend Lord Reynolds in the receiving line upon arriving. He’d not paid her much attention then, but apparently she had made an unfortunate impression if he had targeted her for a joke. Men of influence should not be so cruel to innocent women. It was wrong. If she were a man with half their social power, she would use it to do some good. Those two were a waste of mankind. Her frustration eased the flow of her tears, and Cassandra batted away the wet remains from her face.
She glanced up to find Aunt Evans staring at her, her tired but concerned eyes now appearing like two full moons in the darkness of their carriage. “I’m sorry, Aunt. I simply cannot abide the thought of returning home without a promise of marriage.”
Her parents had tried to hide their worries from her, but with less staff employed, a simpler dinner menu, and fewer invitations accepted, it had been easy to form a logical conclusion of their current financial state. Returning now without so much as a suitor meant disappointing not just her parents but her six siblings as well, especially her sister Megan, who had just entered Society.
“Dashed hopes are never easy to reconcile with. Do not be too sorry. There will be other opportunities.”
“Not many in Airewell.” Which was why Mama had sent her to stay with Aunt. It hadn’t been a proper London Season, but it wasn’t the events Cassandra cared about. It was the opportunities for courtship that outweighed those offered her from home. She blinked back more moisture gathering in her eyes. In Airewell the only decent gentlemen were in love with Patricia Pollard—her nemesis. Once Patricia heard of her lack of success, Cassandra would never hear the end of it. Was it best to put this whole marriage business behind her and seek employment instead?
She studied her aunt. She had never married and was still happy. She was also a good Christian woman devoted to charity and caring for orphans, growing her mind with books, and enjoying and supporting the arts. Not many would look twice at the quiet woman and see that she was changing the world, but after six weeks in her company, Cassandra felt that the light of her aunt shone brighter than ever. And she wanted that for herself.
But spinsterhood, or a life in service, meant one thing Cassandra could not bring herself to give up. Her hand fell just below her stomach. She longed for children of her own. It had been her fiercest dream to be a mother. She’d carried around her dolls longer than most girls and fussed over every baby in sight. But, of course, the proper way of things meant marriage had to come first. And this time she would not settle for the uncommitted Mr. Gibbonses of the world, nor be tricked by vexing strangers.
She knew now what she desired. Despite the practical voices in her head telling her otherwise, she wanted a love match. Because of her parents’ situation, time was not exactly on her side, but she couldn’t settle for anyone unless he was at least good, kind, and trustworthy.
Perhaps tonight, with all its folly and mishaps, had been for the best. Something had happened to her while she had danced with that very rude and thoughtless man. For a moment, she’d forgotten about the rules and obligations of Society and truly enjoyed herself. Never had she been so free with Mr. Gibbons. And more, her pulse had leaped at the stranger’s touch as it had never done for anyone else. She had to blink away the traitorous image her memory conjured—broad shoulders, thick brown hair, and his heart-stopping smile.
Somehow, he had awakened in her a desire for something more than she’d imagined was possible for herself. Even if she now despised him. Heavens, she didn’t even know his name to credit for her anger or to thank him for showing her what she had been missing.
She leaned against the carriage window, wondering what other beautiful things she had not seen or felt in life. She could have forfeited them all because of a wrong choice in suitor. But was it possible to help her family and find love? For she dearly wanted to do both. All she needed was a brilliant plan, and everything would work out just as she hoped.
* * *
One week later
Airewell, Yorkshire
Cassandra finished her lessons with Michael and Robert in the morning room after Papa informed her their tutor had quit his position. She had a deep suspicion that Papa was keeping something from her. It was more likely the tutor had been dismissed because of lack of funds. Had their financial situation worsened during her six months away?
On her way to her room, her little sisters, Beth and Janie, bombarded her on the stairs. She pushed Janie’s curls back behind her ear. “How I missed your sweet faces while I was away. Did you girls have nuncheon yet?”
“We did!” Janie latched on to Cassandra’s hands and climbed up her dress with her short little legs.
