Page 74 of The Dreaming Beauty
Tansy laughed at Daisy’s enthusiasm. “This has been delightful, Your Grace. Thank you. I love seeing Daisy so happy, and I am as eager as she is to see what the treasure is.”
As they reached the side of the house, His Grace slowed their steps. When they were quite alone, he stopped completely. “You do realize you are the real treasure, don’t you?”
Tansy laughed. “Don’t be silly. The children would hardly like to find me at the end of this hunt. You will have a great deal of disappointed treasure enthusiasts.”
“Not this one.”
Once again, Tansy did not have to guess what he was thinking. He said everything he felt, though she was never certain how to respond. With Marcus’s words circling in her head, for a single moment she considered whether she could accept Simon. She did not love him, so this sudden, brief thought surprised her.
His Grace held his hand out, palm up, as in invitation for her to take it. She stared at it. Was Marcus right that this was how God was to make up for the birthright she had been denied? Was she supposed to accept it? Could life be so unfair as to make this her fate, when her heart already belonged to another?
But even with the distance Marcus had put between them, being with Simon was not something she could agree to.
Seeing her hesitation, His Grace grinned and seized her hand that was limp at her side. “If your father were alive, or even your uncle, I would speak to them forthwith. But since they are not, your aunts will have to grant me their permission. Tansy, you must marry me.”
“Your Grace, I... I...” Her mind raced. She knew if she tried, she could care for His Grace, just as she had, in her own way, cared for Mr. Robinson. It would be a measured affection, one for those who touched her and left a small mark upon her soul. But the heart could not be swayed once it found its true match—a love so deep and rooted it could not falter even in death. She had found hers in Marcus, and there was no talking her heart into or out of love, no passage of time that might dull it, and no potential heartache more devastating.
She knew her answer, but it was hard to speak out loud, knowing she was risking loneliness and a chance to be loved in return. But she had been brave before, and she had to be brave now. Sudden emotion clogged her throat, and it took a moment to get her words out, but His Grace waited more patiently than she had ever seen him do. “You give me a great compliment. You are such a good and caring man. But I simply cannot marry you.”
His hands went to her shoulders, and he pulled her closer to him. “With time, perhaps I could convince you.”
She shook her head. He had made comments such as this many times over the last week. “It is no fault of yours, I assure you. I would have to fall out of love with someone else for that to be possible, and my heart is quite permanently and irrevocably attached elsewhere.”
His Grace was a man with unfettered emotions, but his face was blank as he studied her. “Is it Marcus?”
She inhaled sharply. How did he know?
He shook his head and released her. “I should have known. No, I think I did know, and I told myself it could not be true. You chose well for yourself. Most older brothers do not idolize their younger brothers, but I do. I always have. Marcus is everything I want to be.”
“You give yourself no credit. You are admirable in your own way. You have so much to recommend yourself.”
“My title? I abhor it.”
“No, your talents, your ambition, your heart. You would be a catch for any woman.”
His arms crossed. “But I can never have you.”
She shrugged. “You don’t want me, Your Grace. You want what riles your mother, like you did that day over the painting lessons. You think you want what Marcus has now, what you think is best in the moment. That is not love. Trust me, I have tried to convince myself of that emotion before, and it is not the same as the real thing.” She turned her head, tears stinging the corner of her eyes. Why did she feel like crying? She was breaking his heart, so why did her own feel like it was being severed in two? “The woman you marry must be the one you feel so permanently attached to that whatever you do, you cannot be rid of her. The woman who inspires you to be your best, whom you cannot live without, whom you want to run toward when anything goes wrong—she will be your other half.”
Marcus was all those things for her.
It was quiet for a moment, the pain between them tangible. The only noise was distant children laughing and birds squawking as they passed overhead.
His Grace cleared his throat. “Is that how you feel about Marcus?”
Tansy wiped an errant tear from her face. “That my heart will burst if he will not have me?” She ducked her head. “Yes, that is how I feel about him.”
His face was flushed, not with anger but embarrassment. She hated that she had been the source of such hurt and discomfort. But she knew how he felt. She knew that unrequited love was the most miserable thing in the existence of the world.
“Don’t look at me like that, Tansy. Don’t be sorry. You are right. I care for you, but not as deeply as you described. I had hoped it would grow as we were together, and I am still certain it would, but hearing you speak of love with such reverence... I want that for myself.”
“You’ll find it. For a man with as much passion as you have, it should not be long. Your heart has so much to give.”
A slow, deprecating smile touched his mouth. “I can only hope. Since you are my cousin, you must help me. I expect you to run off the fortune hunters and any insipid women for me.”
Tansy expelled a short laugh. “I should be happy to offer Iris for such a position. No one wields a rake like she does.”
“I will remember that.” His Grace chuckled, shaking his head. “As for you, I hope you and Marcus will be very happy.”
