Page 28 of Bargaining for the Barrister
He turned, his face close, reminding her of their night in the gardens. “This.” He reached over and hesitated, his hand an inch away from her head. Then, with perfect gentleness, he slowly fingered one of her curls. Her heart pounded, but nothing could have enticed her to move away. She held her breath as Paul gently tucked the hair behind her ear, his touch lingering. A shiver ran down her skin, and her arms erupted in gooseflesh.
“Your hair is so thick it’s likely making you sweat more. If you keep it off your face, I’d wager it would help.”
Embarrassed to have reacted to his thoughtful gesture, Louisa cringed and gave him a sheepish smile. He had already told her in no uncertain terms exactly how he felt about her, but had he not seemed to take great pleasure in touching her hair? He turned forward, taunting her with a nice view of his profile.
“What about you?” he asked.
Her thoughts were still on his simple touch and the words that did not match it. She wasn’t sure if she could find her voice. “I...” She cleared her throat. “I’d fly.”
He looked at her out of the corner of his eye. “I can almost see that happening. You don’t seem to be afraid of anything.”
There were few things she was afraid of. Death was one of them. Snakes were another. But right now what scared her more than anything was what she was feeling. She wanted to stay with Paul and help him to be happy, prove to him that he wasn’t unlucky, and continue to feel this warmth at her side and his fingers in her hair.
“Snakes,” she said. “I am petrified of snakes.”
He eyed her. “I’m afraid of mushrooms.”
“No you aren’t,” she said with a laugh.
“Very well. I’m afraid of water.”
“Do be serious. I told you my fear. It is only fair you do the same.”
“It’s true. Not the mushrooms but the water.” He stared out across the top of the roof to the grounds beyond.
She was quiet for a moment, not sure what to say. “Drinking water, rainwater, river water?”
“Swimming water.” He shifted so his body faced her. She missed his arm next to hers, but what she wanted more from him was words. Their conversing was real—without any pretense—and though she knew it was temporary, she craved the connection. “When I was five, my family wanted me to learn how to swim.” He shook his head. “I don’t know why I’m telling you this. I’ve never told anyone.”
“You don’t have to tell me, but I’ll listen if you want to.”
He studied her. “You look at me, and I suddenly want to tell you all my secrets. You already know more than most—about the Rebels, about how unlucky I am.”
“I’ll look away if it helps.” Louisa turned back to the window, staring at the view from the back of the house—the gardens she was growing familiar with, the orchard she had yet to walk through, and the side of the stables. “Not everyone learns how to swim, you know.” She certainly never had, partly from a lack of opportunity, but what mattered was that he knew she didn’t judge him for being afraid.
“My relative took it upon herself to teach me to swim,” he began slowly. “She dropped me into the water—an old trick often employed to teach young ones. Most children are bright and begin to crawl to the surface. Not me though. I panicked and froze. This relative... she stood there not far above me, staring down, watching me drown. My lungs were screaming for air, and all I could think of was that she’d forgotten to instruct me on what to do. When I was finally dragged to the surface, she scolded me over and over again for being such a useless child.”
Louisa’s breath came out ragged. She wanted to look at him, to comfort him from such a horrible memory, but she kept her eyes on the gray-blue skyline. She swallowed, steadying her voice before she spoke. “How frightened you must’ve been.”
“I had nightmares for years.” After a moment, he put his arms back on the ledge. “You’d better not tell anyone, or I’ll have to drag you back up here for another stern lecture.”
“But you’ll open the window for me first, won’t you?” She stole a glance, relieved to see a teasing glint reflecting in his eyes.
“Of course. I am a gentleman.”
She laughed. “That has yet to be confirmed.”
Paul shook his head. “You sound like a barrister now.”
She gave a dainty shrug. “I have read parts of a law book. And besides, I have only collected three of your secrets, and who knows how many more I may yet acquire?”
“I’m normally a very private man, though you will never believe me now,” Paul said with a short laugh of his own. “Apparently, all a person has to do is get locked in the attic with me and I’ll share anything.” He glanced at her. “What about you? Why would a beautiful girl who could have her pick of husbands take such a risk by coming here?”
“Had I known what you’d look like, I would’ve stayed put.” She turned to see his reaction, not expecting his eyes to be crossed and his face to be contorted. She laughed loudly and freely. “You know, that expression actually improves you.”
“I am flattered, truly, but I am still waiting for an honest answer to my question.”
She bit back her grin. “Ah, an honest answer. Let’s see.” She couldn’t tell him about her dowry. She couldn’t ruin what was happening—or what wasn’t happening. It was all so confusing, but she didn’t even care. She just wanted to keep the conversation going. “It’s a long story.”
