Page 68 of Bargaining for the Barrister
A soft breeze curled around his neck, and he noticed the warmth of the sun on his face. Something about it centered him. He was more than the sum of the fears inside him. He had been prideful, refusing to walk a path he could not control. But fear had ruled him for too long. Besides, complete control never was the fate for humanity. Sometimes the random, unexpected occurrences in life turned out to be exactly what was needed. He didn’t need to know exactly what to say to Louisa. That would come. For now, he just needed her.
His feet finally moved of their own accord toward the stables. The grass gave way to packed dirt, and Paul brushed past the fenced corral. A groomsman exited the stable door and greeted him.
“Did Miss Cox come by this way?” Paul asked.
“She left, sir.”
An urgency seized him. If only he had not been so dimwitted and slow, he could have reached the conclusion to chase after her sooner. He glanced around but did not see any sign of her. “Saddle my horse, please. And hurry.” Had she taken the road or the shorter path through the fields? He stepped onto the fence to get a better view. Nothing.
The groomsman stepped out a minute later, pulling Starling behind him. “All ready for you, sir.”
“Thank you.” Paul accepted the reins and quickly pulled himself onto Starling’s back. “Did you happen to see which way Miss Cox went?” The servants would talk, but he cared not. If the attic had not ruined them, this wouldn’t either.
“She followed the field line, just there.” He pointed, and Paul knew immediately where she was going.
“If my mother comes searching for me, I won’t be back for at least an hour, maybe two.” He knew she’d worry until he returned, and he was sorry for it.
The groomsman dipped his head. “Very good, sir.”
Paul clicked his tongue, maneuvering Starling to face the opposite direction. That was when he saw Mortimer riding up on his horse. Paul would have to put him off. He needed to catch Louisa.
“Hold up, friend!” Mortimer called, coming up beside him. Paul opened his mouth to make his excuse when he noticed that Mortimer’s whole disposition was changed. For one, he was grinning like a lovesick fool. “I wrote your list.”
Paul’s laugh was short and carried his annoyance. “And it made you this gloriously happy?”
“The fact that I’m going to be a father made me this happy.”
Paul gaped. “A father? Then, congratulations are in order.” What did this mean about his divorce?
“I should have come a few days ago, but as soon as I finished my list, I went and found Nettie, and we patched things up. You were right. She is enough for me. There were far more things I would miss about her than I could replace with money. You had the idea of it all along. Love is worth more than a horse or a second carriage. It won’t make sense to you, single as you are, but when someone catches your fancy, you’ll see. As soon as I apologized, Nettie told me the good news.”
Paul tightened his hand on the reins, eager to say goodbye to Mortimer but wanting to ask one last question. “I’m happy for you, but are you prepared to face the same problems you had before? I can only imagine the stress is greater with a young one on the way.”
Mortimer’s face hardened in a determination unlike Paul had ever seen in his friend. “We will face our struggles together, whatever they are.”
It was an oversimplified statement, but the word together entered Paul’s mind with such force, his breath left him. Together they were stronger. With both of them invested in each other, money had no hold over them.
“Congratulations once more, but I must be off. Send my best wishes to your wife.” Paul did not wait for Mortimer to respond. He set Starling into a brisk trot on a most familiar path. As soon as he was out of sight of the stables, his patience waned, and he urged his horse into a gallop. He’d never been more grateful for the speed of his prized horse than he was now. Still, it was several minutes before he spotted Louisa’s form. He slowed to a trot again, comfortable to stay behind her for a moment. How he wished he had a plan. He only knew she could not leave thinking so little of him. And even more importantly, she could not leave without knowing how much he cared.
With the upper pond in the near distance, he urged his horse forward, ready to close the gap. As the distance between them narrowed, Paul called out to her. “Louisa!”
She turned and, after seeing him, reined her horse in to a stop. He maneuvered Starling to the side of her, but his horse wasn’t eager to hold still after Paul had riled him up with their pace.
“Why did you follow me?” Louisa’s ever-present smile was absent, her expression somber. There was a dullness in her eyes that filled him with even greater remorse.
Paul guided Starling in a circle around her horse, his grip too tight on the reins. “Will you walk with me for a bit around the pond?”
“I should be with Logan.”
“I need only a moment.” His eyes implored hers. He’d beg if necessary.
She cast her gaze down. “Very well. If we hurry.”
He agreed, grateful she was still speaking to him. “We can dismount once we reach the row of elms just ahead.” He directed Starling toward the trees not thirty feet from the pond, and Louisa’s horse came up alongside his, with a few feet between them. The silence set his every nerve on edge. He knew not where to start. He articulated facts far better than feelings. “How is Logan?” Blast! Why couldn’t he spit out what he wanted to say?
She shrugged. “I hardly know. He was so tired when he arrived, we spoke for only a moment before he went to rest.”
Paul nodded. His mind jumped from one thought to another, and he could not settle on the right phrasing. When he spoke in court, he had time to study out every aspect and look up correlating laws to use as a framework. There was no time for that here. Whatever he said now could very well be his final words to Louisa. The pressure was building like the beads of sweat on Starling’s coat. He went back to Logan, a safe subject. “His work must be quite the burden for him, taking over for your father and caring for you at the same time.”
