Page 77 of Refining the Debutante
Miranda blinked, surprised by the unexpected apology. “I tried many times to turn his attention toward you, but I made a mess of it. I am sorry too.”
Jane played with her reticule. “I saw the way you avoided him at the ball and arranged the dance with Hannah. I should’ve thanked you that night.”
“Do not think of it again. I wish there were more I could do to make amends,” Miranda said.
Jane nodded. She gave Miranda a half smile and said goodbye. The soft shut of the door seemed to awaken Miranda from a sort of haze. She put her hand over her chest. What a day! She slipped back into the drawing room to find Lady Callister looking a picture of calm.
“What on earth did you say to Jane? She apologized to me.”
Lady Callister picked up her teacup. “She saw the light all on her own. Do you remember at Crowfield when you and Jane took a walk and had a little row?”
“Yes.”
“Through her tears, Jane told me she despised you and she despised herself. She has been trying to bury her affection for you to protect herself. Many times, I caught her watching you. There was sadness in her eyes that did not match her words or behavior. She has been mourning the loss of your friendship, but I believe coming back to London has helped her understand that her emotions were misplaced. She is a young lady with a great deal of expectations placed on her shoulders. She is still learning how to cope with the pressures that exist in Society and the difficult task of managing her feelings.”
Miranda’s wide eyes pricked with moisture. “I understand.” A part of Jane was returning to her—she could feel it. The day’s events compounded, and suddenly she wanted to lie down to digest them all. “How can I ever thank you, Lady Callister?”
“By promising you will not run away.”
The request caused her to choke on her words. She did not deserve such loyalty. “I promise to not be hasty.” Miranda would stay as long as her presence did not harm anyone. As it was, hers seemed a precarious situation ticking toward an inevitable end.
Chapter 30
Ethan handed his horse tothe groomsman and stalked into the house. He had no plan, no speech prepared, but he must speak with his parents immediately. He was not one to put off a task, but this was more important than anything he’d ever done before, and he was anxious to see it through.
He found his father in his study. “Might I have a moment?” he said from the doorway.
“Certainly,” his father said. “I am tired of reviewing these proposed bills. Everyone wants something for themselves, and sometimes the right decision is unclear.”
Would his father think the same about what Ethan planned to say? He entered the room and shut the door behind him. The last thing he needed was his sisters eavesdropping and Jane spouting her opinion.
“I am no longer courting Miss Withers. I want it made clear to my mother and sisters so they leave it alone. I am to marry Miss Bartley.”
“Miss Bartley? Do not tell me you proposed to the daughter of a man in the Marshalsea! Thetonwill jump on such a foolhardy, cockeyed agreement.”
He had never done anything to disappoint his parents before. This was new territory, but he was determined. “I have not proposed yet. But I plan to, and I hope she will have me.”
“You do realize your actions reflect on this family? You will not marry Miss Bartley, and that is final!”
Ethan would not be intimidated. “I understand your reservations since I have reviewed them in my mind continually these many months. But it is of no use. I cannot live without her.”
His father stood and put his hands on his desk to emphasize his authority. “When you are young, you think your body is ruled by the heart. When you are old, you learn to balance your passions with reason. I will not let you waste your life on a silly inclination you will later regret.”
“You know I am a practical person, Father.” Ethan shook his head. “Miss Bartley and I were meant to be together all along. It is my fault we were not married long before this. I let my rationale ruin something real and living. A beautiful girl has suffered because of it.”
“Your blasted conscience is what has altered your mind, not your heart.” His father huffed. “This is what we will do. I will tell your mother and sisters you are leaving London for a short time to pacify the rebellious farmers.”
“Rebellious farmers?” Ethan had left their tenants in peace, thanks to a small raise and the charity from the parish.
“Not ours, but there are plenty enough to go around. You do what you can to assist your neighbors, and get this woman out of your system.”
Ethan pulled at his choking cravat. “And when I return unchanged?”
His father sighed and collapsed back into his chair. “If you feel the same, then we will reexamine the situation. I am not promising anything.”
Ethan shook his head. “You are buying time. My goal will not change.”
“You will listen. A father always knows what is best for his child.”
