Page 53 of Refining the Debutante
Jane did the same and motioned Miranda to the left, and they quietly walked a good twenty feet from the others before either said anything.
The silence grew awkward, and Miranda endeavored to extend the olive branch. “The pale green of your skirt is very fetching, Jane.”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” Jane said, lifting the hem from the dampness of the grass. “I didn’t ask you to walk with me so you could pretend all is normal between us again. It never will be, so you can stop before you get any ideas.”
“Very well; I don’t like your skirt at all,” Miranda teased.
Jane stopped dead in her tracks and then turned and glared at Miranda. “I’m not going to warm to you with your little witty remarks. I’m glad you are ruined. There, I said it.”
Ice-cold water could not have chilled Miranda more. “What? Why would you say such a thing?”
Jane pursed her lips. “Captain Grant. You noticed my interest in him; I know you did. Why did you do it? I haven’t spoken to anyone here about the unfortunate scandal surrounding your family name. Mostly, I refrained because speaking of it would condemn my brother’s actions of inviting you into our home.” Jane shook her head. “But I won’t keep quiet anymore. Captain Grant deserves to know.”
“Deserves to know what, Jane? That I am poor? He has figured out that much already. He is well aware that I am a paid companion. That isn’t some great secret. Will knowing of my father’s shame change his opinion? I cannot say. But I guarantee if you prattle about it, it will look poorly on you, not me.”
Jane’s mouth dropped open. Miranda was reeling as well, but not for the same reasons. She realized she had done that very thing—she had informed Ethan of every negative quality everyone else possessed. Instead of winning his favor, she had repelled him.
“I’m sorry,” Miranda said, pressing her eyes closed. “I never should have said that. I tried to push him toward you, but—”
“I don’t want to hear your apologies. Never speak to me again, Miranda Bartley. Never!” Jane stalked away, her tight fists swinging angrily against her sides.
Miranda watched Jane leave. Tears flooded her vision, and she did her best to blink them back. She swiveled so she would not have to watch Jane return to the others. She had promised herself she would give Jane more time. Why did she ruin everything? Several minutes passed, but no solutions came to mind. She heard a noise behind her. Hannah had come to rescue her.
She turned and saw she was mistaken.
Ethan had come. “I can remember when the two of you were inseparable.”
“She doesn’t seem to be coming around like you said.” Miranda gave a weary laugh, hastily wiping at her eyes. Ethan had seen every emotion on her now.
“Yes, well, you reminded me last time how unlikeable you are.” Ethan grimaced.
Miranda bit back her smile. “I am wounded.”
“I will make it up to you by completing this circle around the grounds at your side.” Ethan waggled his eyebrows as if he was dangling a treat in front of her.
“I daresay I will be completely disagreeable, and you will suffer a sound rebuke from your sister once you return home,” Miranda replied with a heavy sigh.
Ethan shrugged. “I am far more used to Jane stalking away from me than you are.” He seemed determined.
“Very well.”
Ethan extended his arm, and Miranda felt a rush of pleasure and comfort as she rested her hand on it. This was what she had wanted to feel with Captain Grant but had not.
“Jane does not think Captain Grant is aware of my situation,” Miranda said. The words slipped from her mind to her mouth easily. Why she would speak of such things to Ethan was beyond her. No, she did know why. She and Ethan were not a couple, but she did think they still had a friendship—something Miranda was relieved to find still existed despite everything.
“Jane thinks Captain Grant is a good match for her,” Ethan said, shaking his head.
“You disagree?”
“I do. I think Jane doesn’t know her heart yet. She wants what she cannot have, and that isn’t love. It’s jealousy.”
That was easy for him to say. He didn’t know what unrequited love felt like. “What is love if not wanting someone?” There her mouth went again, spouting as if it had a mind of its own.
The way Ethan scratched at the back of his head told her he was as uncomfortable with the topic as she was. “I would not discount attraction, to be sure.” Wasn’t he doing just that? Hadn’t she sensed his attraction to her at one time? It clearly was not a large portion of his definition of the word.
When he finally looked over at her, she gave him a doubtful look. His smile was hesitant, and she knew he was thinking about their past. He looked ahead again, but his pace slowed. “I think love is the makings of poetry with all its passion and fervor,” he said. “But mostly, I think it is simple everyday devotion. I wonder if Jane even thinks about the day-to-day part. All she cares for is the passionate beginning and how pleased she’ll be to be the treasure on a man’s arm. She’s still young, and it’ll come, but I fear she will rush into something before that happens.”
“I have never heard love described in such a way.” Miranda wondered how many times she could say the wordlovearound Ethan before her face started on fire from the heat of embarrassment. She wished she had seen such devotion between her parents, but his words made sense. It was a balance between the heart and the head. She was all heart, and she knew Ethan was far more practical. Clearly, the two did not work well together.
