Page 50 of Refining the Debutante
“You’re right. I apologize.” He leaned one shoulder against the wall, clearly not scared off. “Do you mind if I share my thoughts?”
She shook her head. She loved to hear his perspective and was eager to hear anything he had to say.
“I think you and Lady Callister are getting along famously. I also think Hannah has taken quite a shine to you.”
“Perhaps that is because they did not know the London me.”
He pulled at his cravat, an old habit, and tugged it into its perpetually crooked state. “Many thought you likeable in London.”
“Not everyone.” She dropped her gaze, her heart thudding. “Even Jane is done with me.”
“She will come around. Speaking of Jane, she wanted me to have the carriage readied. She declared a headache, but we both know...”
Miranda finished for him. “We both know she can’t stand to spend time in my company.”
Ethan shrugged. “She doesn’t show it as she should, but she is grieving the loss of your friendship. She doesn’t understand your new station and her place in it.”
“I do not know how to categorize myself, so I cannot presume she would,” Miranda said dryly.
“That didn’t come out the best,” Ethan said. “But you do understand why we are still finding our footing.”
We.He had finally included himself. “I do understand, more than you realize.”
“I’m truly sorry about your father. About everything. But you are content here with Lady Callister?”
“Yes. I thank you for arranging this.” His concern touched her. “I haven’t had an opportunity to tell you before now. When I see you at church... well, I know Jane needs her space.” As did Ethan, but she dared not say as much.
“Time will help.”
Miranda nodded. “I won’t rush her. I will be here when you”—Miranda squeezed her eyes shut momentarily—“when she is ready.” She twisted her skirts in her hands.
Ethan studied her for a moment. She could smell his musky amber scent. “I should call for the carriage,” he said. His eyes grew soft like melted chocolate. How she longed to have him look at her this way again. Or did she just imagine desire there? Would she ever mean something to him again?
“Yes, the carriage,” Miranda whispered.
Ethan extended his hand until his fingertips brushed the back of hers against her skirt. She held her breath, but he dropped his hand, as if only extending his friendship to comfort her, before retreating.
She pulled the daydreams and wishes back and tucked them into a safe place in her heart. With a weary sigh, she made her way back to the others. She wanted to at least be an option in Ethan’s mind, but it seemed Miss Withers was filling the vacancy rather nicely. The old Miranda would have snagged his arm and boldly inserted herself back into his life, but the new her could not. Ethan deserved a chance to follow where his heart led him.
Chapter 21
Over the next fortnight, thedays began similarly, but their end was usually Miranda’s favorite. Her time spent reading with Lady Callister varied with long talks about when Lady Callister was young and the experiences life had blessed her with.
“I had three proposals before I accepted my Edward’s hand.” Lady Callister wore her perched spectacles, though she rarely looked down as she knitted. She easily produced yet another beautiful blanket for her tenants without missing a beat in her story or dropping a single stitch. “I was tempted by one particular suitor, but my Edward had something special about him, and he won out in the end.”
“Three? Good heavens. What made Edward stand out?”
“He was better-looking.”
Miranda laughed and let herself slouch in her seat. Lady Callister allowed it, and Miranda loved her all the more for it. “When I first met you, I never would have taken you for such a romantic. Now I know you live and breathe it.”
Lady Callister chuckled. “There is enough sorrow and unhappiness to cover the earth several times over. We cannot dwell on hardships for too long, or our spirits wither away, whereas love sustains us. So I choose to be a romantic. Falling in love is one of those things that keeps us going. Staying in love is even better.”
Miranda was mesmerized by her words. “How did you stay in love? I presume you loved your husband.”
“I never would have married him otherwise,” Lady Callister said. “But your question is warranted. Falling in love is the easy part, but we often complicate the rest of it. It is a lot like serving my tenants. I show them I care and do my best to meet their needs. It’s the same with husbands.”
“Really?” Miranda looked away for a moment. “And what about not-quite husbands?” She had never coveted someone’s advice so greatly in her life.
