Page 67 of Hello Handsome
It wasn’t just dinner. Couldn’t be for a reaction like this. And then it hit me. “The only woman you’ve ever loved left before you could even say goodbye. Before you really knew what goodbye meant.” My voice scraped over the words, raw with emotion.
Hayes blinked quickly before turning his gaze out the window, telling me that my guess was spot on. “I’m too old tobe doing this now,” he said, his voice thick. “I’m not a little kid anymore.”
“You’re never too old to be afraid,” I reminded him. “All these years later, and I’m afraid too.”
“You’re happy by yourself,” Hayes said. “Why take the risk?”
He could have been speaking the words right out of my own head. “I am happy...” But it was more complicated than that. I looked down at my hands, weathered with age, and I wished I had more wisdom to match. “But I could be happier.”
Hayes met my gaze, a tortured look in his eyes. “You could be sadder too.”
I knew what he meant without him having to spell it out. What if I gave my heart to another woman and lost her like I lost Maya? That kind of pain was like no other. But now I knew there were other types of pain. Seeing someone you loved and holding back. Watching time slip by without them because you couldn’t be brave.
I was done with that kind of pain.
I had to win Aggie back.
41
AGGIE
The next weekend,Gray invited me to go horseback riding with him again. And it was like all this time and distance between us hadn’t passed. So the following week, when I had a day off work…
I called Gray.
My heart fluttered a bit the way it always did at the thought of spending time with him. It had a little tendril of hope that things would work out between us, and no matter how much I tried, I couldn’t squash it.
I’d have to live with that hope because I didn’t want to live without his friendship.
When he answered, the low timbre of his voice was instantly comforting. “Aggie.” I could tell he was smiling.
“What are you up to?” I asked, pacing my living room. “I know it’s late notice, but I have the afternoon off and I thought I’d see what my favorite cowboy was up to.”
I could hear the wind brushing over the speaker of his phone. That man spent as many hours outside as I did in the diner. “I’m tending to the garden today. I want to get everything cleared out and then plant some seeds before it rains this weekend.”
“Care for some company?” I asked, picturing him leaning up against a shovel with no human in sight for miles. The visual was like something out of a storybook. “I think I have a pair of garden gloves somewhere.”
“You don’t need to help, but I’d sure love someone to talk to. I think Gracie’s getting bored of my stories.”
I chuckled at the thought of him talking to his graying cattle dog while pulling weeds. “I can’t promise I won’t get bored,” I teased him.
“It’s a risk I’m willing to take.”
Chuckling, I told him I’d be by in a little while, and then we hung up. Turns out, I looked forward more to doing mundane things with Gray than going on adventures with Jameson, because I quickly dressed in work jeans and a T-shirt, pulled my mom’s old gardening gloves from the junk drawer, and got in the car.
At the sight of the Madigan Ranch sign over the road, my heart felt lighter already. Something about this place felt like home, even though it wasn’t my own.
As I pulled into the gravel driveway, I didn’t see Gray. But soon, he appeared around the side of the house, tugging leather gloves from his hands. There was a smile on his face, even as he squinted at me in the midday sun.
I waved at him and got out. “Ready for a hand?” I called.
“Just glad you’re here,” he tossed back, making my stomach swoop.
I smiled and walked his way, letting myself through the front gate. Gracie trotted up to me, and I scratched her behind her graying ears. “Looks like she’s happy I’m here, too.”
He chuckled and led us back to the garden in his backyard. It was big, with a waist-high fence around it to keep the critters out. Half of it was churned with rows, a garden hose spilling water down the trenches.
He reached for a water jug at the corner, drinking deeply. It was hard to look away, seeing his Adam's apple move with each swallow and his strong shoulders tug against the fabric of his shirt. He may have been older, but he certainly had the strength to match anyone my age.
