Page 33 of Hello Handsome
He’s still in love with her,and if there was one thing I knew, I couldn’t compete with a ghost. Even if I could, I wouldn’t ask him to try a relationship with me before he was truly ready to move out of the past and into the future.
“I understand.” It was a miracle my voice wasn’t cracking along with my heart.
Gray’s head tilted to the side, and I felt like he was seeing through me with those light-blue eyes. “Can we still be friends, Aggie? Please say yes.”
My heart thumped painfully. I couldn’t say no to him. Especially not when I imagined my days at the diner without his company. My life was better with him in it as a friend. Maybe a relationship beyond that was just too much to ask for.
“I can see you at the diner,” I whispered. “I can talk to you from the back of a horse or at a family dinner… But outings like this? It’s just too much.”
His expression was solemn as he wrapped his arms around me. Which was good because it was all that was holding me up, keeping me together until I could remember my own strength.
Then he pulled away and said, “Let’s head back inside?”
I nodded, but this time, I kept my distance as I walked by his side. I could stand on my own.
22
GRAY
The wedding hadn’t gonelike I’d hoped.
A big part of me wanted Jack to be right–I just needed to ease myself back into dating for it to feel comfortable again. But Aggie deserved better than me testing the waters with her. Besides, that’s what Dr. Benson was for. He promised me he’d help sort out all these jagged pieces of my heart so I had something whole to give.
But I knew I could be a good friend, so the next week, I asked Aggie to go for a ride.
And the following week? I did the same.
Weeks of meeting for horseback rides turned into months, and months into years. On cold days, we bundled up and I packed a thermos of cocoa for us to share as our horses walked side by side. On warm days, we rode to the creek and dipped our feet in the stream to cool off.
We talked about anything and everything, growing even closer than we’d been before. I shared about my growing family, with new grandkids coming what seemed like all the time. We shared worries about our children, things going on at work, our favorite shows on TV, and she told me of her strengthening friendship with Etta.
I kept going to weekly sessions with Dr. Benson, working through my grief like I should have all those years ago. I spent time with Jack and Deidre. I watched Ford play football, a lot.
And for my sons still living in Cottonwood Falls, I invited one of them over each week to check the cattle so we could have one-on-one time.
Today, my middle child, Knox, was joining me, and I couldn’t wait. I got to the barn early to brush down both horses and then saddled them up, making sure the cinches were just the right tightness and the bridles were properly in place.
I was so lost in the routine of preparing the horses for a ride that I didn’t hear Knox’s approach until he yelled out, “I thought we weredrivingto check cattle!”
I looked up to see him walking toward me in a pair of jeans and a T-shirt, sun glancing off his blond hair. At least he was dressed for a ride. With a wry smile, I said, “The horses wanted some attention. Figured a young guy like you wouldn’t mind.”
“Which is why you included that tidbit of information when you called?” he quipped. He reached the metal fence panels and easily climbed over to join me with the horses. “At least it’s nice out,” he commented. This time of year in Texas, it could easily hit the hundreds, but it was supposed to rain overnight, so the temp was in the eighties with a cool breeze.
I nodded in agreement, handing Knox the reins to Acres. I noticed the turtle tattoo on his arm and smiled. It was there in honor of his mother.
He walked ahead of me, leading Acres toward the gate. Seeing as he’d opened it for me, I hoisted myself on Blister’s back and rode through the opening.
I could hear the clink of the shutting gate behind me, followed by the shift of leather as Knox climbed in the saddle. He murmured low to Acres, calling him a good boy. It made meproud to see how kindhearted he was to animals. I never could have raised a kid to be senselessly cruel to beings under our care.
For a while, we rode in silence, side by side on the ruts of a trail cutting through the pasture. It seemed like Knox wasn’t going to open up, so I asked, “How’re things with the neighbor girl?” A cute single mom had moved in next door to him, and I had a feeling something was happening there.
Judging by the extra color on his cheeks, I was right.
“What things?” Knox finally replied, shifting his reins to the other hand.
I snorted. “Still a terrible liar.” He made the same pained expression when he’d sneak a treat from the sweets cabinet and get caught. Maybe his blond hair was a little darker now, and he was starting to get crow’s feet at the corners of his eyes, but he was still my little boy.
“I wasn’t lying,” he lied.
