Page 62 of Hello Handsome
Suddenly, the idea of spending an evening with him while my daughter sat in my house alone made my stomach turn.
“This has been fun, Jameson, but I think we need to end things,” I said. I’d never broken up with anyone, unless you counted Gray, so I wasn’t sure I was even doing it right. But I had to be honest with him and with myself.
The message must have come across clearly because there was a disappointed, confused look on Jameson’s face. “Because I didn’t want to hang out and make small talk with your daughter?”
My mama bear rage rose up in my chest, and I had to take a breath to keep from making a metaphorical swipe at him. “Because I am who I am because of that girl. She made me a mother, the most important role I’ll ever have. My heart walks around in her body. And the fact that you’re not remotely interested in knowing someone so integral to my life… it’s a big red flag. Maybe another woman wouldn’t care, but I do.”
Jameson frowned, deep lines forming in his forehead. “If it’s so important to you, I’ll go inside. We don’t have to go to dinner at all.”
My heart tugged at the idea of getting what I wanted, but I didn’t want it this way. “I shouldn’t have to ask,” I said. My mind flashed back to the week Enzo was home from basic training and Gray waited so patiently for me to go horseback riding with him. He understood how important my kids were to me because he felt the same way about his children.
It made me miss him and his friendship even more.
Jameson had his lips pressed together like he was trying to work out a response, but that wasn’t needed. “I’m not mad, Jameson. I just think we’re looking for different things.”
He let out a heavy sigh and then finally offered me a rueful smile. “Well, let me know if you’re ever in Tyler and want to meet up.”
I nodded, knowing that would never happen. Then I stepped back and shut the door to his truck. I stood in my driveway while he pulled out and turned down the street, watching him go.
When his taillights disappeared around the corner, I turned back toward my home and my daughter inside.
I’d learned something about Jameson tonight, about our relationship, but I’d learned something about myself, too.
I wasn’t a casual relationship kind of woman.
I wanted something real, and I wouldn’t settle for anything less.
38
GRAY
Even though itwould get hotter later this afternoon, I had to wear a hoodie while checking cattle with Hayes. We rode our horses side by side along the trail through the pasture near the house as the sharp breeze made the newly greening grass wave erratically.
A cloud crossed in front of the sun, making it instantly colder, so I leaned forward and rubbed my hand on Blister’s neck, borrowing some of his warmth. “Care to share your coat?” I muttered to him.
His freckled ears flicked back in response.
When we crested the hill, the cloud was gone, making the weather much more tolerable again. Early rays flickered over the landscape, catching the waving blades of grass, and almost illuminated the black cattle grazing.
This time of year was my favorite, when all the calves were born but still with their mamas. I smiled at the sight of the pairs and then glanced over at Hayes. His gaze was on the cattle, too, but he seemed to be lost in thought.
“Looking forward to the spring festival? It’s just a couple weeks away,” I asked, wondering if that was it. Maya wanted usall to perform the Boot Scootin’ Boogie with her and her class. Maybe he was going over the dance steps in his mind.
“Fuck no,” Hayes groused. “Maybe I’ll break a leg and get out of dancing.”
I gave him a surprised look. He was rarely in a mood like this. “I thought you liked dancing.”
“I do when it’s my own idea,” he admitted, shifting the reins to his other hand. We started down the hill, and we both leaned back slightly to keep our balance in the saddles. “So about that broken leg...” he said. Then he gave me his trademark smirk.
I shook my head at Hayes. “Keep talking that way and you’ll jinx yourself.”
He rolled his eyes at me, not one to believe in superstitions.
We reached the bottom of the hill and straightened in our saddles. I said, “Liv had an ultrasound. Baby’s doing well.”
“That’s good.” He smiled for just a second before it fell. Something was going on with him beyond the dance, and I couldn’t tell what.
Another cloud passed over the sun, making it cold again, but I tried to brighten up the mood anyway. “Emily won student of the week,” I said, beyond proud of Knox’s stepdaughter. She was an incredible girl, and we were lucky to have her in the family. “They’re having an assembly next Friday where they’ll tell everyone how nice she is.”
