Page 22 of Hello Handsome
But two episodes later, my eyelids were drooping, and I knew we were closing in on Enzo’s typical waking time during the night. So I carefully, slowly, got up and carried him to his crib. Luckily, he didn’t wake.
I tiptoed to the kitchen, where the landline hung on the wall. I pulled the corded phone down and tapped out our cell number.
Straight to voicemail.
My stomach clenched, and I pressed out the number again.
“You have reached…”
My eyes stung as I hung up the phone. Something was wrong, and I didn’t know what.
And that’s when I heard the baby start to cry.
I blinked out of the memory, finding the drive still empty. A similar heavy feeling settled over my gut as I tried to remind myself that Gray wasn’t Porter. He would be here.
But soon, five minutes passed. And then ten. And it was getting harder and harder to believe that he was coming at all.
My fingers shook as I unlocked my cell phone screen for the fifth time to see if there were any messages from Gray with an explanation.
An engine sounded outside, too close for a car to just be driving by, and my heart fluttered as I hurried to the window and found Gray’s truck pulling up. I couldn’t read his expression, not from here. But my stomach was sinking. Something felt off about tonight.
I’d been imagining this day for so long, and now that it was here, it didn’t feel like it should.
As Gray got out of his truck, I went to the door and stepped outside onto the small cement porch. He sent me a smile that didn’t quite meet his eyes as he walked up the step to join me–or maybe I was reading into it.
“Hey,” I said softly.
“Hey,” he replied. “You look beautiful, Ags.”
My heart flopped painfully in my chest. I’d done hard things before, but saying these words to Gray felt just as hard. Especially standing this close to him–seeing how handsome helooked dressed up for our date, getting the masculine scent of his cologne.
“I don’t think I can do this,” I rushed out before I became too afraid.
A hurt look crossed his face as he studied me. “I’m sorry I’m late. I had–”
I shook my head quickly, not wanting him to feel guilty. “It’s not about that. Well, it kind of is. Did I ever tell you what happened with Porter?” I asked.
Gray slowly shook his head. “I heard things, but…” I’d never told him. Got it.
I nodded. “He went to get diapers one night and never came back. Never called to explain. Nothing. One day he was there, and then he wasn’t. And all of a sudden, I was a single mom figuring it out all on my own. I dedicated the last twenty years to raising my kids. I gave everything to them. And I’m realizing how little I left for myself.” My voice cracked.
Gray reached out, comforting me with a rub over my arm.
Which made this harder, because I knew deep down he was agoodman.
“Since Enzo left, I’m realizing how little I have outside of my kids and my job. You’re my only friend.” My voice broke again, and I took a ragged breath. Tears fell over my lids, and I hurriedly brushed them away.
“Aggie…” He said softly, like he was at a loss for words. But that was fine because words kept tumbling from my mouth.
“Waiting here tonight, I realized that if something went wrong between us… I’d have nothing left.” I brushed at the tears, but fresh tears just came after. “I can’t risk losing you as a friend, Gray. Not when you’re the only true friend I have.”
He reached out, cupping my face in his calloused hand. His thumb brushed away a tear, and then he pulled me closer,hugging me with his chin rested atop my head and breathing deep.
For a moment, I borrowed his calm, using the rhythm of his breaths to steady my own. And when the crying stopped, I pulled back, knowing I probably looked a mess despite all the effort I’d put in earlier.
“I don’t want to lose you either,” he said, voice rough with emotion.
A smile attempted to twitch my lips and failed. “So what does that mean for us?”
