Page 42 of Plea
When he growled out a moan and bit down on my shoulder, I giggled and continued to ride him. I didn’t stop until he used my waist to hold me still. When his eyes finally opened, the perplexed expression on his face made me laugh again.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” I asked sweetly.
“I fuck you. You don’t fuck me.”
“We fuck each other. How about that?” I reasoned through my laugh, because he really looked appalled.
“Aight, but don’t think I’ma let you fuck me all the time. You made me cum quick as fuck. I’on know how I feel about that yet.”
I knew he was serious, but I couldn’t stop myself from laughing before I placed kisses all over his face.
“As quick as you make me cum, I take that as a compliment. I think you finally met your match with me, huh?”
“Hell yeah, and I loved every minute of it.”
The evening hadn’t gone exactlyhow I thought it would, but I certainly wouldn’t complain. After Carson ate my pussy and fucked me senseless, we showered and had dinner together, then I gave him a massage. Instead of ending our night in the theater room, we cuddled in bed. I knew exactly what I wanted to watch, but I was trying to be nice and give him the chance to choose for a change.
“Thank you, baby. I appreciate what you did tonight. And the sunflowers are beautiful. You’re the only woman to ever get me flowers.”
“Good, and you’re welcome. I know it wasn’t a lot, but I just wanted to do something to let you know I appreciate you.”
“It was more than enough. You’re coming with me to Cash’s grand opening, right?”
“If you want me to. I heard it’s going to be packed.”
“Yeah, I wouldn’t be surprised. The way he and his fiancée put on for the city, I know everyone is going to come out and show him love.”
As he rubbed and squeezed my ass, he took a pull from his cigar. Since we’d known each other, I think he’d only smoked weed once or twice, but he loved a good cigar. I put that on my list as something I could get him in the future as well.
“Oh shit,” he almost yelled, sitting up in bed and tossing me off him in the process. I laughed as he said, “You caught me so off guard when I first got home, I forgot to tell you about what happened this morning.”
“What happened?”
I listened intently as he told me what Hollie pieced together about Trevor, and by the time he was done, my mouth was hanging so far open my lip could have touched my chest. At first, I thought he was playing. There was literally no way the man I almost married was not only gay but carrying on with an escort and his best friend. But then I thought about it, and the idea of him and Adam having a sexual relationship made sense.
Adam was hypersexual it seemed, and I didn’t want to judge him and think it was because he’d been abused or anything, so I just chalked it up to him loving the opposite sex. Now, I wondered if he had sex with so many women because he was trying to prove to himself that he didn’t want to be with men.Adam and I never got along, and every time I tried to talk to Trevor about my dislike of him, he always came to his defense.
I used to excuse it by saying he was protecting his best friend, but the truth of the matter was, he didn’t defend him like he was defending his best friend. He defended him like I was talking negatively about his man. The only time he didn’t was when I was talking shit about him for suggesting the prenup. And now, I was wondering if Adam recommended that because he thought it would make me call the wedding off.
“I’m so glad I got tested every three months while I was with him,” I said more to myself than Carson. “I can’t believe he not only cheated on me, but he cheated on me with two men. And God only knows if they were the only ones. God!” I stood up and began to pace. “What if I would have married him? Would he have given me something? What if my entire life I stayed with a man that was cheating on me on the DL? That’s why he stopped putting forth the effort with me. He was treating his niggas! Of course he didn’t care about my feelings. He didn’t like or love me. I was just his cover so he could live the life he really wanted in secret. God! How could I have been so stupid?”
“Okay, that’s enough,” Carson said, standing and pulling me into his arms. “There was literally no way for you to have known that man was into men.”
“But I should have known when he changed, babe. I should’ve known when he started treating me differently.”
“You’re not the only woman who stayed with a man who stopped putting forth as much effort. Most women think if they stay long enough a man will go back to his old ways. Though that rarely happens, it’s understandable that you stayed. Men manipulate, gaslight, and add small amounts of effort little by little to keep a woman hooked until they are ready to leave.
“Trust me when I say there was nothing you could have done differently but leave, and you did when you felt ready to do so.That had to happen in your own time, when you were ready. Otherwise, you would’ve questioned if you’d done the right thing and been more susceptible to go back to him. Now was he using you as a cover for his lifestyle? I think so, but I feel like he would have used any woman for that. Don’t take it personally.”
“I know that I shouldn’t?—”
He didn’t let me finish before he was saying, “So don’t.” I growled, and he laughed. “Take all the time you need to process how you feel. Everything you’re feeling here is valid.” He pointed to my heart. “But when you start letting that fuck up your mind, that’s when ya man gotta step in. He’s taken enough from you, sunshine. I’m not going to let him make you think there’s something wrong with you and fuck up your confidence too.”
“You’re right,” I mumbled, resting my forehead on his chest. “I was about to go off the deep end. I know there was nothing I could have done to know the truth, and I stayed as long as I did because I loved him and wanted us to work. I won’t beat myself up for that. I’m just glad I’ve upgraded and moved on to someone so much better. I love you, babe.”
“Don’t ever forget that shit, and I love you too.”
I squealed and giggled when he picked me up, tossed me over his shoulder, and smacked my ass. As happy as I was that he kept me from spiraling, I was even happier that I had him at all. This break up would have been so much harder without him. I didn’t believe what we felt for each other was on some rebound shit because our feelings were strong while we were still connected to other people. The way I felt for Carson, I’d never felt for anyone else. He took care of me and protected my heart and mind in ways no other man had, and I’d be damned if I let Trevor’s bullshit make me lose sight of that.
