Page 14 of Plea
“I’ma go and let y’all talk,” he said as he stood and brushed away a tear.
Me and Mama locked eyes, reeling in our laughter at his expense. He was a true girl’s dad, and I was so grateful for him.
“Why don’t you take this dress off so we can talk?” Mama suggested, expression turning serious.
I did as she suggested and told the sale’s associate that everything was okay when she came to check on me. Mama and I snagged a glass of champagne before sitting on the cream colored leather recliner.
“That dress looks exactly the same,” Ma reiterated, “letting me know it’s something here”—she pointed to my heart— “or here”—she pointed to my mind— “that’s changed.”
I sipped my champagne, considering how honest I wanted to be. That wasn’t because I didn’t want to be honest with her; I just didn’t know if I was ready to be honest with myself.
“I guess if I start from the beginning, it’ll make more sense,” I said, setting my flute on the glass table. “Trevor and I were good when we were just dating. When we got engaged, things started to change. I think the fiancé version of him was different from the boyfriend version of him and I ignored it. Lately, he’s beenacting even more differently, and I’m not sure I like the changes I’m seeing.”
I gave her a few examples, and the more I talked about it, the more I realized it was because of gender roles and expectations of men versus women. They were quite toxic and overly cliché, and I was tired of feeling like I was settling for it. We weren’t dating, and we were spending less time together, and even though he was always putting money in my account, that wasn’t enough.
Because my business was so profitable, I didn’t need a man’s money. It was a requirement that he had his own and wasn’t stingy, but I could take care of myself. Because of that, I wanted to marry a man that I genuinely liked, loved, and respected. The closer we got to the wedding, the more I seriously considered if Trevor was the man meant to be my life partner. The kind of intimacy and loyalty I wanted he no longer provided. I wasn’t sure if this was a phase or a sign of what I had to look forward to in our marriage.
“I don’t want you to marry Trevor unless and until you are sure he’s worthy of you, baby,” Ma said. “We don’t know how people will change with time. So if you were to marry any man and need to divorce him, that’s always an option, but it doesn’t make sense to marry someone you’re unsure about.”
“But we’ve spent so much time and money planning?—”
“That doesn’t matter,” she interrupted me to say. “Even if you postpone the wedding and stay with him, do that. From what you’re saying, it sounds like you preferred the boyfriend version of him. That happens often. People often mirror what they see in their parents, or they do the opposite. So it wouldn’t surprise me if he was a great boyfriend but not equipped to be a great husband. How does his father treat his mother? Did you pay attention to that?”
I nodded and released a shaky breath. “I did. Daddy always drilled that into us and to make sure our husbands could separate being a good man from being a good husband and father as well. His parents are cool, but I never saw them as husband and wife, just as parents to their kids. So I don’t know if he saw them as husband and wife, which could explain why he just tosses money at me and doesn’t really care about offering anything else. We don’t date and spend quality time together anymore. I don’t know. It’s like he acts like now that he’s gotten me, nothing else needs to be done to maintain our relationship.”
“Okay, so I want you to answer this. If your relationship stayed just as it is in this very moment, will you be satisfied with it?”
I didn’t even have to think about it before I shook my head. “No. Not at all. I want more.”
“Then tell him. And if he doesn’t give it…”
“I have to leave.” My eyes watered as I said that out loud. I’d been thinking about it for a while, but this was the first time I’d said it.
Sympathy covered her face as she pulled me into his arms. There was no doubt I’d do what was best for me. I just prayed I didn’t put myself in a situation where I had to suffer more before I did.
Sometimes I was too loyal for my own damn good.
Chapter
Ten
Carson
I dreaded tellingmy family I had a baby on the way. Every time I pictured this moment, it was with my wife after we’d been married for years. It was supposed to be a moment of joy and pride because I was adding to my legacy. I wouldn’t necessarily say I felt trapped because we’d used protection and I didn’t mind having Asia as the mother of my child. This was just… unexpected.
I’d already told the crew about the baby because of the state of shock I was in, and Creole could instantly tell something was off with me the last time we hung out. After I told my parents, I didn’t feel the need to tell anyone else until we sent out invitations for the baby shower.
Their conversation was going in one ear and out of the other. I didn’t realize how bad I’d disassociated until I focused in on their conversation and realized they were talking about something different.
“Asia is pregnant,” I blurted.
They both stopped talking immediately and stared at me. Mama’s fork clinked against her plate. We were sitting in their dining room having dinner. Though we have family dinners every Sunday, I popped up on them today because I couldn’t wait until then to tell them the news.
“I’m about to have another grandbaby?” she asked, while Pops said…
“Congratulations, Son!”
He stood and shook my hand then pulled me in for a hug while Mama squealed, and I knew it was about to turn into a cry. Sure enough, by the time we hugged, tears were falling from her eyes. I held her close and laughed softly.
