Page 5 of Plea
“Then why are you acting like you’re frustrated just because I told you I wanted to talk about how I’ve been feeling since the weekend?”
“Because I didn’t ask you to meet me for lunch for you to dump your feelings on me in the middle of the day. If you wantto have a serious talk, we can talk about it after I’m done with work for the day.”
“Wow.” Scoffing, I lifted my napkin from my lap and set it on the table. We’d only been here long enough to order our food and get our drinks and appetizer, but at this point, I was ready to go. “So you really don’t give a fuck about how I feel?”
His voice softened when he said, “I care about how you feel. I’m just not trying to talk about shit that’s going to ruin my mood this early in the day.”
“And me expressing how you ignoring me and not showing up Friday hurt me is going to ruin your mood?”
“Why aren’t you over that yet?”
“Because I haven’t been able to talk to you about it yet, dummy! You’re so fucking book smart but when it comes to me you act like your favorite color is five.” Standing from my seat, I huffed and slung my coat over my shoulders. “If it’s that much of a damn inconvenience for you to hear me out, I don’t have to talk to your ass at all.”
“Here you go,” he grumbled, standing and trying to reach for my hand.
“Nah,hereI go,” I countered, pointing toward the exit before walking away.
I could only laugh at myself for thinking he actually wanted to talk. All he ever did was let time pass and think everything would be okay. Ignoring him calling my name, I headed out of the restaurant as quickly as I could. For the entire drive to the beauty supply store, Trevor blew my phone up. I found it funny how he went from not wanting to talk about my feelings to wanting to talk about how my actions affected his. Eventually, I temporarily cut his notifications off so I could shop in peace without having to put my phone on Do Not Disturb.
It ended up taking me about an hour and a half to get back to the salon, and by the time I did, he’d dropped off my food anda bouquet of roses. While the gesture didn’t make me reach out to him, I was over the situation by now. I wouldn’t allow him to keep me angry and ruin my day, but I also wasn’t going to let him think the way he’d treated me earlier was okay.
Chapter
Four
Carson
There wasno way I could ignore that something was up with Asia anymore. I’d taken her out tonight, and after dinner, I gave her the gift card forThe Beauty Baralong with the vintage Chanel pearl necklace she’d showed me and said she wanted. This girl cried a bucket of tears into her chocolate cake. Now I wasn’t a genius, but either she was feeling guilty about some shit or she was pregnant.
Running my middle finger over my eyebrow, I chuckled. Standing, I headed toward the bar to get a few napkins so she could wipe her face. Her cries turned into sniffles.
“I’ve been more than patient with you, Asia, but there is clearly something going on with you,” I said, returning to my seat once she was done wiping her face. “Are you pregnant?”
Sniffling, she shrugged and avoided my eyes. “I’m not sure. I might be.”
“And it’s mine?” Her eyes met mine and she nodded. “Yes. I haven’t been with anyone else since we met.”
“Have you been thinking there’s a chance you’re pregnant? Is that why you’ve been acting different lately?”
She released a shaky breath and ran her fingers through her hair. “Yes. I’ve been stressed and sad. I don’t want to be pregnant, which is why I haven’t wanted to take the test or mentioned it to you.”
“Why don’t you want to have my baby?”
Her eyes watered again as she smiled, but she blinked them back quickly. “I don’t want to have anyone’s baby right now, Carson. I don’t know if I want kids at all. I haven’t really completely started living for myself yet.”
I could understand and respect that. A lot of the choices Asia made for her life were based on her parents’ guidance and desires. That was why she was back in school at the age of thirty three to get the degree she wanted. When she first went to school, she received her bachelor’s in business because her mother said college was the time for her to find a husband. She picked a random program and spent that four years majoring in dating. Now, she was going to school for what she was most passionate about—computer science.
“If you are pregnant, are you going to get an abortion?”
“No,” she answered quickly. “That never crossed my mind. More than anything, I’ve just been in a depressing denial.”
“Well, that ends tonight. Finish your drink, and we’ll stop by the store to get a few tests.”
Her expression was sad as she nodded and grabbed her glass. As angry and hurt as I was, I understood why she felt the way she did. Even though I would be there for her and our child, the biggest burden would be on her. Not only would she have to carry and give birth to our baby, but a mother’s load was always heavier than a father’s regardless of how present he was.
The emotional taxation along with the nurturing and priority a woman was required to give her family was something a lotof women didn’t know they’d experience until they gave birth. I saw that shit firsthand with Creole and his wife. They swore they were ready to start their family until my niece actually got here and they realized just how big of a responsibility having a child was. I could look back and think about the times they would get breaks from my niece.
Even though Raven would physically be without her, she’d still be mentally and emotionally connected to my niece to the point where she couldn’t really enjoy herself. Her entire life revolved around her baby and husband to the point where she lost herself and ended up asking for a divorce. Eventually she realized she didn’t want to be without Creole and Caroline; she just needed more balance and to get back to the things she enjoyed other than being a mother. Raven had dreams of opening her own business and traveling the world. And now, she didn’t do anything unless it involved her family. It didn’t matter how much help Creole provided or how much he insisted she get away and spend time with herself. Raven’s love for him and their daughter made it damn near impossible for her to do anything for herself it seemed, and I couldn’t imagine how that would feel if a woman was in that position unwillingly and wanted more for her life than that.
