Page 60 of Whiskey Throttle
“So, what happened? She pulls back? You freak her out? You start with that kinky shit you’re into, and she runs out the door.”
“It was one time I let a girl peg me. ONE TIME.”
He chuckles, razzing me for no reason.
“Yeah, but you drizzled all over her sheets like a little bitch.”
How could I not?
The girl hammered some spot back there, and it shot out of my cock. Taking both of us by surprise. I loved it at the time, but the thought of it now gives me the ick. The fuck that I had a strap-on up my ass while on all fours fucks up my head to this day.
“Yeah, we’ll this one made me come in my pants with only a hand job.”
“Damn off a handy? What are you twelve?”
He laughs even louder.
“Shut the fuck up.”
“You do like her.”
Probably shouldn’t have told him that one. It’s a violation to Babs and an embarrassment to me. I know he’ll be cool and not tell his mouthy brother, but I need to zip my lips about her. She’s not one of my conquests I brag about to the guys. She’s so far beyond that and above me.
“I think I freaked myself out. I’m trying to keep it light. Be chill. But it stopped being casual the second she looked at me like she saw something. And now I’m second-guessing every move I make. Like if I do too much, she’ll run. But if I don’t do enough, she’ll think I don’t give a damn.”
Massimo exhales.
“Yeah. That sucks, bro.”
“Thanks. That’s really helpful.”
“I mean, it sucks because it sounds real. Real feelings. That middle zone where you’re not just chasing a hookup or a booty call. You’re actually showing up for someone, and you don’t know if they want you back.”
Exactly. She’s so guarded. Plays everything close to the chest, so I’m always pursuing her. Even after I think I have a shot with her. After being inside our body, I’m still unsure. It’s a new feeling I don’t like.
“That ever happen to you?”
“Yeah.” His voice ripples through with an edge. “Once. I played it cool. Didn’t say how I felt. Watched her walk away thinking I didn’t care.”
“What happened?”
“Last I heard, she quit school to marry a dentist. Lives in Seattle.”
“That’s rough.”
The line goes silent, lost in the past. Then a thought. Rude to ask, but I do anyway.
“But I thought you and . . . I thought you shared women.”
I half don’t expect him to answer. I wouldn’t blame him if he didn’t. Everyone knows about their conquests. But liking or maybe even loving someone, like in his case, that’s off limits.
“She came before all that. Probably why Em and I, ya know.”
“Oh.”
The connection between losing her and sharing women is lost in my mind. I can’t get that math to math.
“We don’t talk about her.”
