Page 49 of Whiskey Throttle
She hesitates, her eyes searching mine.
“Free. Alive. Seen.”
I understand what she means. She’s always in the public eye, always has to maintain a certain image. But here, with me, she can let go of all that. She can just be herself. The woman she is beneath the façade, the woman she’s been hiding from the world. The woman she’s been hiding from herself. I run my hand over her ass, feeling the soft curves of her body.
“You are seen, Barbara. You are free. You are alive.” I lean down, my lips brushing against hers. “And you are incredibly sexy when you let go.”
She laughs softly, her body arching into my touch when she moves closer.
“You make me feel sexy. You make me feel a lot of things I haven’t felt in a long time.”
Her words send a surge of desire through me. I want to make her feel everything. I want to make her feel things she’s never felt before. I want to be the one who brings her to life, who sets her on fire.
She swallows hard, her eyes searching mine.
“I’m thinking that this is dangerous. You’re dangerous. You make me feel too much.”
A slow smile spreads across my face.
“And that’s a bad thing, Babs?”
Her hand moves to her throat in search of those pearls that are not firmly stored away in the past that she’s outgrowing. Recognition overtakes her expression when she comes to touch my necklace and my pendant instead. I swallow my smugness, knowing I did it primarily for her and partly for me. Not ownership, as I told her, but a piece of me that lives within her.
“It is when you’re not used to it. When you’ve spent years building walls to keep everything in check.”
“Let them crumble. Like the Roman empire.”
She chuckles, bitter and harsh. A terrible sound.
I collect her in my arms, rolling her on top of me and hugging her body to mine. She wiggles about. Gets comfortable. Props her arm across my chest to look at me. Her eyes soften as she looks down at me, her hair cascading over her shoulders, creating a curtain that blocks out the world. It’s just us, here in this moment, and I want it to last forever.
“The Roman Empire didn’t just crumble, Hollister. It burned. And I’m not sure I’m ready to set my world on fire just yet.”
I reach up, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.
“Then we’ll set it ablaze together. Because I can promise you this, Barbara, I’m not going anywhere until you ask me to. And even then, I don’t think I’m strong enough to leave.”
She swallows hard, dipping down so she is lying in the crook of my neck.
“Why would you say that?”
Her breath is warm against my neck. Our bodies stick together due to the heat we generate.
“Because it’s true. If we’re this good together, why wouldn’t I want it to go on?”
She lies motionless for several long seconds, then clears her voice.
“I guess you’re right. Good sex is hard to come by.”
The words hit hard.
Reduced to casual sex.
My mouth dries.
The words of encouragement or support of this becoming more die on my tongue. She sent me spiraling. I offered her more, and she shut me down. Chalked me up to a fuck boy or booty call. My ego is bruised. My feelings are a bit battered. I thought this was leading somewhere. Thought I would want to see her outside the secluded safety of my family compound. Could possibly hold hands with her when we get back home.
All that evaporates in the salty air. A bad feeling starts sneaking in. My chest tightens, breath catching in a place I didn’t expect to feel hollowed out.
