Page 15 of Giovanni
He winks, finding another opportunity to brag about his sex life, which is not what I want to hear. Seb is very visual, and outside beauty is important to him. I’m different in that I must know the person first. It’s the inside that I’m drawn to. Sure, an attractive woman catches my eye, but it’s their thoughts, emotions, and feelings that make my cock hard.
Kacie didn’t judge me when I confessed to liking an engaged woman. She looked sympathetic as if understanding how wanting someone I can’t have feels. In her light voice, she said it was Jenna’s loss, as if I’m worthy of something better, someone better. It changed my whole thinking around. Jenna and I had always gotten along, the touching and flirting making me think it meant something when it didn’t by the ring on her finger. Now Ihave a spark with Kacie. Twice. My flirting with Jenna is shallow and hollow compared to my honest conversations with Kacie about her career and life.
Kacie speaks for those who don’t have a voice, the victims of heinous crimes. Prosecuting bad people who do bad things hasn’t made her jaded or harsh. She’s kind and empathetic with a seemingly soft heart. She wouldn’t intentionally hurt anyone. It’s not in her makeup or her profession to do so. It’s an attractive quality I didn’t even know I was drawn to.I nod, absorbing his words with my thoughts.
“But do you think someone older with more life experience is better at . . . protecting your heart?”
He chuckles, knowing where I am going with this. He always teases me about being too sensitive, but then he is the first to defend me if anyone else says that. It’s a strange friendship we have at times.
“Again, not about the age. It’s about the person. Are you asking if life kicks people in the ass and shapes them? Well, hell yeah. Life’s a bitch sometimes. I didn’t ask for my parents to die, but it happened and changed me in ways I don’t want to talk about. No offense, man.”
I never take offense to Seb’s avoidance of talking about his parents. I never bring it up, and he rarely does, usually just a few comments each year around the date they died or the holidays.
“You gotta figure out what you need. And not what youthinkyou need,” he warns, his expression serious. “That’s a big difference. I thought I wanted hot chicks all the time. Turns out I want my hot chick. Chloe’s been through enough to know what she wants and how to handle a relationship, especially with me. She’s straightforward, with no games and no drama. I always know where I stand with her. There’s no guessing. Oh, and she’s not out fucking other guys to decide who she likes better. That shit happens all the time with chicks our age, andI fucking hate it. Anyway, that’s what I need. What you need is probably different.”
I mull over his words. They make a lot of sense, and I can see the change in Seb. This whole conversation is a testament to her hand in his life. Before, he would have shoved me away and told me to stop acting like a pussy or to go eat some pussy. But now, he’s thoughtful and a little introspective, both a nice surprise.
“But hey,” he adds, picking up the controller again, “you gotta figure out what works for you.”
It’s not about chasing someone I can’t have, like Jenna. It’s about finding someone who resonates with me and what I need. Maybe that person is Kacie.
She’s more grounded and sincere than women my age. Maybe I need someone who’s seen more of the world and understands the value of honesty and depth in a relationship. Someone who understands my drive for the stage as she’s just as driven in her career.
Kacie wouldn’t lead me on like Jenna. She wouldn’t flirt with me and be committed to another. No, Kacie has impeccable integrity.
“Who’s the chick that has your panties in a wad, anyway? If not that Jenna chick, then who? Is she an older broad like mine? Is that why you’re asking?”
His eyes never leave the screen when he yells out all his questions. I’m hesitant to answer as Seb can either be insulting or supportive.
“Not a broad, but yes, an older woman. I assume similar in age to yours, but not exactly sure.”
I’d never dare ask how old his girlfriend is, or any woman for that matter. I’m certain they are in the same range, but does it matter if one is older or younger by a few years?
“Her name is Kacie. She’s a new client of mine.”
“Ah, dipping in the company ink. Don’t get fired for that shit. I still don’t know how Paolo and his woman get away with it. Chloe tells me they hide it well, but I’d fire someone at my company if they did that shit.”
The fact that he has no idea what happens at his company, only what’s told to him at the board meetings, makes this statement laughable. Regardless, I get what he’s saying. Being Mr. Daniels’s favorite and most successful trainer, I doubt this will be an issue, especially since it’s not in any employee handbook I’ve seen.
“Unless you already love this chick. Then that’s different. I’d kill the guy that stands between me and my girl.”
That statement speaks volumes about how he really feels. If I were to ask him outright if he loved her, he’d say, “Shut the fuck up,” and probably try to beat my ass. He’s a conundrum, stating exactly what he wants to anyone at any time, but direct confrontation gets met with massive avoidance. If I didn’t know him as long as I have, I’d say he’s a bully. Sometimes he is. Mostly, it’s an avoidance of the hurt and pain he’s been through and doesn’t want to experience again. I can’t blame the guy. He’s had the worst of it.
“Yeah, thanks, Sebby, I appreciate it,” I say, watching him play for a few more minutes.
“No problem, now go see if the pizza is ready. Ms. Martha said she’s making one for each of us.”
I’ve told him several times that I’m in training, but he doesn’t seem to care. Food is his love language—he always wants to ply people with it. It’s overbearing but still caring.
“It’s supposed to be my turn.”
I stand, collecting my trash to throw away as I down the remains of the water bottle.
“Go get the pizzas, and you can play after,” he commands, never looking away, even though he can play on his gamingsystem all day on his own and could give me a chance instead. “And grab me a beer, but only one. I’m cutting back on the alcohol. Gotta lose some weight in my belly, so my dick looks bigger.”
“I’m pretty sure that’s not how it works.”
Pizza, beer, the candy wrappers on the couch next to him. If he wants to lose weight, he needs to clean up his diet and increase his workouts with me. He shoots me the middle finger, then swears as he almost gets killed in his game.
