Page 29 of Forced to Share
“We went to church every Sunday, sometimes other nights of the week as well. There were a lot of expectations placed on me and what my parents wanted...”
Leah gasped. “So they don’t know about you being bisexual?”
He laughed a little. “No. And I want to keep it that way. We don’t talk very often anymore, it’s their loss. I made an effort for a lot of years, but that was part of why I moved to New York. I needed to separate myself from my toxic upbringing without the risk of their interfering.”
That caught my attention because it was the biggest question I’d had for years. It made perfect sense why he’d packed up and left. If you’d spent your whole life being told that how you felt was wrong or dirty, you needed toremove yourself from that situation. Not that everyone had that opportunity, and I couldn’t fault him for taking the chance to get away. My only wish was that he’d said something to me before he left. We hadn’t been together for very long, and a transfer like that had to have been in motion well before we met.
The issue came when he hadn’t felt like he could tell me about it.
“I’m sorry you felt like you had to leave. That’s one thing that I think Austin and I were blessed with. Mom and Dad didn’t even blink when he came out. Not that he hid it very well.”
I shoved Leah’s shoulder as she giggled, but she wasn’t wrong. I’d been pretty open about my attraction to boys from the beginning. While most boys seemed interested in sports because of their skills, I was interested because I liked their looks. And I made that obvious. Not to mention my infatuation with boy bands. They weren’t as popular when I was a teen, but I looked back to the good ol’ days and worshiped groups like the Backstreet Boys and N’SYNC wishing that I’d been born earlier so that I could have enjoyed their glory days.
But what had that been like? I couldn’t imagine having to hide how I felt from those closest to me. That was something I’d taken for granted. There were a lot of people whowere in the same position as Jeremy who needed to hide their sexuality from their families. It wasn’t right because these were people who should have been hard-wired to love you unconditionally, and sometimes it didn’t matter. That love always came with conditions.
“I’m—I’m sorry you felt that way.” I placed my hand on his knee. Jeremy gave me a weak smile, and it was in that moment that some sort of understanding seemed to pass between us. Like I knew what he was trying to convey without needing a one-on-one conversation. We didn’t need to drag the hurt out all over again.
But that was enough dwelling on all of that. We’d been warmed by our hot chocolate, and there was a partially finished snowman calling our names. I stood from the porch going back to the yard, starting another snowball for the middle and started pushing it around. Instead of just Jeremy, Leah joined us this time, which made completing the work go that much faster. Before we knew it, we had the requisite three parts of a snowman. Bottom, middle, and top.
Leah went in search of some twigs as Jeremy and I grabbed a few pieces of charcoal from the bag my dad had on the porch from the summer bar-b-ques. We layered the buttons, made eyes and a smile before my sister showedback up with a few branches that worked to make sufficient spindly arms and hands.
At the last moment, my mother emerged on the front porch with a carrot, something that we’d all forgotten. I went up to her and grabbed it, bringing it back to our man of snow completing his face. He wasn’t the prettiest thing to look at, but the three of us draped our arms over each other's shoulders looking on with pride. It was a lot of work to put it together but we’d done it.
Chapter 20
Jeremy
Everything seemed to shift after that. By the time we all sat down for dinner, even Mr. and Mrs. Bennett were being pleasant again. I hadn’t faulted them for being upset at first. At least we could all have a good holiday.
“So what are your plans when you go home?” Mrs. Bennett asked Leah. She looked between the two of us, it was a valid question because there was no way we could keep living together now that it was all over. New York was expensive, and my job didn’t pay that well. Leah had been doing me a favor by splitting the cost of our place.
“I’m not sure. We have a little while to figure it out.” Leah pushed some of the roasted potatoes around her plate as she spoke before turning to give me a weak smile. She’dnever toss me out on the street, but it was a sign that we needed to sort things out sooner rather than later.
Austin cleared his throat, setting his napkin on the table and getting everyone’s attention. “I actually just got a pretty big promotion at work. I know internet security doesn’t sound all that exciting, but I was able to develop this new code that does a better job at protecting healthcare information...”
The room stayed quiet, I swallowed because, what the hell was that? Did Austin’s family not care as much about what he did?
“That’s amazing,” I finally said.
Leah looked over at me as I gave her brother a big smile before lifting a bite of the roast to my mouth and shoving it inside. If I didn’t, I was bound to do something stupid, like continuing to talk.
When Austin didn’t continue with his story about his work success, something heavy settled in my chest. It wasn’t fair that their parents seemed so much more invested in their daughter versus their son. They weren’t bad people, it was obvious that they loved their kids, but something was missing when it came to Austin. Maybe it was because he’d moved so far across the country?
“Have you been seeing anyone lately?” Leah finally asked, breaking the silence, but it didn’t ease the tension in the slightest.
Austin’s shoulders lifted to his ears, and I knew why. He had a big-ass secret which was my own damn fault.
“Uhm, no? I wasn’t seeing anyone back in San Francisco.” He danced around the answer like a ballerina who’d been practicing for the big performance for years. He hadn’t lied, just omitted the truth.
Leah rolled her eyes. “Jeeze, come on. You haven’t dated anyone seriously since that guy broke your heart freshman year.”
That seemed to get the attention of their parents, while I choked on the food I’d been trying to swallow.
“What is she talking about, Austin?” their mother asked.
Our eyes met across the table for the briefest of moments, but it was enough to send my pulse skyrocketing.
He pressed his fingers into his temples. “It’s not that big of a deal.”
