Page 54 of Pose for Me
“Exactly. So, to try to avoid that perception, I wanted to rush a frat. Those are lifelong friends or some shit they peddle to recruits.”
Lane nods.
“I thought that was best. It was hell. Not them hazing me, that was whatever. My dad did worse. But knowing I couldn’t kill them, that I had to allow them to fuck with me and I couldn’t gouge their fucking eyes out was hard.”
“What stopped you? Did you have someone like me around?” he asks, and I think I detect a hint of jealousy in his tone. That’s adorable. “Someone that you promised you wouldn’t hurt anyone?”
I shake my head. “No. I didn’t want to go to prison. I had to keep myself in check so I would remain free. I had only killed one person before. I didn’t want to risk being arrested before me and my brother could work together.” Lane pales but doesn’t say anything, so I keep talking. “I was doing okay until one hazing incident where I was pushed down a flight of stairs.”
“Oh my god,” Lane says, his hand flying to his mouth. “Why the fuck did they do that?” Then his eyes grow wide. I’m sure he’ssurprised at himself for caring about what happened to someone like me.
I laugh and shake my head. We’re at the back door, but I don’t want to go in yet. So I sit down in one of the chairs on the back porch and pull Lane onto my lap. He sighs and leans into me, wrapping his arms around my neck.
“Part of a ceremony,” I answer him after a few beats of silence. I pull Lane closer, close enough where there’s no space between us and keep recounting my past. “The other recruits and I had been drinking for most of the day, and we had to prove that we weren’t afraid of pain. So some of the brothers pushed me. I was the only one who broke a bone. My ankle.” I lift my right foot unnecessarily. “When I came back after getting patched up, I was told I was weak because of that, and they didn’t want someone with brittle bones to join their frat. Everyone but the President and his best friend thought it was bullshit, but what could I do?”
“You killed them for not letting you rush?” he asks and I can hear the incredulity in his voice.
“No, baby boy. I murdered them because they tried to humiliate me.” I clench my fists, still hearing the echoes of their laughter as I walked away.
“How?” he asks. I look at him with a raised eyebrow. “How did you kill them?”
“I pushed the president off a balcony, and I bashed his friend’s head in with a brick.”
He shivers in my arms but doesn’t try to withdraw. Lane is mine. If he can sit on my lap while I tell him about a murder without wanting to get away from me, he fucking belongs to me, his badge be damned.
“Do I scare you, Lane?” I ask after we’re quiet for a while.
“Little bit.” He leans away so he can meet my eyes. “But this…caring side is making my head spin. I’m taking this one day ata time, until you decide to get rid of me, so I’m trying not to be afraid.”
It’s on the tip of my tongue to tell him that I don’twantto get rid of him. I like having him around. Even though it’s only been a day, I liked how he looked in my bed.
Like he belonged there.
Before I left for work this morning, I took out my sketch pad and drew him, my dick stirring as the charcoal formed new lines of his body on a page. It was some of my best work, something I hope to recreate in the coming days. If I don’t pace myself, I’ll have a stack of sketch pads with Lane as my only model.
It gets cooler as night falls, and Lane shivers. “Ready to go in?” I ask, rubbing his arm to give him some warmth.
He nods. “Can we…can you hold me when we get inside?”
“I need to feed you first.”
As if on cue, his stomach grumbles. He laughs in embarrassment. “Yeah, okay. But…after. Can you hold me, please?”
“Yes, sweet boy. Let me take you upstairs and get the cuff back on you. Then I’ll cook you dinner.”
Lane sighs but doesn’t complain as we head inside. When we get to my room, he sits in the chair by the window, and I cuff the chain around his ankle.
“I’ll be right back,” I say.
Lane smiles and nods. I kiss him quickly and smile against his mouth when he wraps his arms around my neck to draw me in.
Chuckling, I untangle his arms and back away. “None of that until you’ve eaten. Okay?”
“Okay, Daddy,” he whispers and sits back in the chair. Lane turns toward the window and looks at the night sky as I leave the room.
When I’m downstairs, I make him a protein shake first, agitating it with one hand as I rummage through my cabinets for something quick to prepare him. Fuck, I need to start a grocery list.
The food I bought during my last trip went bad because I left them in my car overnight. After the bullshit with that fucking tweaker, I wasn’t in the mood to bring them in from the trunk, so I don’t have much in my kitchen right now. I’ll go shopping tomorrow when I get off work and make sure I’m not being stalked by someone trying to rob me before I pack up the groceries.
