Page 31 of Winning You
Lucas felt bitter bile rising into the back of his throat. His mouth tasted like metal. He listened to the way Gage spoke—his voice that was always kind of soft and tender and reminded him of the taste of turmeric. It was different now. Acidic. Like too much lemon juice.
“Were you drugged?” he forced himself to ask.
“I think so. I never went in to get tested. I…I don’t know. I feel like shit about it now, but I think I was scared of the answer. I was scared that Jonny did it because he was pissed at me for handling yet another love confession like a total tool.”
“Dude. You don’t know someone for what, two weeks, and tell them you’re in love. Or…maybe you do, but you don’t have a right to expect them to say it back. I’m a sad, sorry-ass virgin who has never had a boyfriend, and even I know that.”
“You’re none of those things.”
“My dick begs to differ.”
“Fine.” He felt Gage roll toward him and scoot closer. “You’re one of those things. But I know you’re right. I was just in my head. You and I were kind of weird with each other when I left, and I felt like I was fucking everything up. So I just laid in my bed and puked my guts out. When I took a shower that night, I, um…I—” His voice cracked.
Suddenly, Lucas knew what Gage was going to say, and he wanted to beg him not to. He wanted to hit pause and just leave things the way they were because those words were going to change everything.
But he owed his friend this moment, so he bit his tongue. Literally.
“There was stuff on my dick. Dry, sticky stuff. Uh. Yeah, so I panicked, and I went to the campus clinic a week later and got tested.”
“And?”
“I had something,” Gage whispered. “Not one of the big somethings that’s going to last forever. A little something where I had to take this super fucking disgusting powdered antibiotic that tasted like grape Kool-Aid and cockroach ass.”
“Fuck,” Lucas whispered. It felt like his world had been made of glass, and now when he reached out to touch the walls, they were covered in spiderweb cracks that left tiny cuts behind. “So you were, ah…”
“Assaulted,” Gage said. “I’m still struggling with the word. My therapist has been super cool about it. She says I don’t have to name it in order to deal with the trauma it caused.” He let out a puff of air. “I called Jonny when I got back, but his phone was disconnected, so I went to his place, but no one was ever home. Right before I left, a friend of mine and I went by to look in the windows, and all their shit was gone.”
“Oh my god,” Lucas said. “Did you social media stalk him?”
“Yeah. His Insta went private for a while, then it disappeared. Or he changed the name and blocked me. Whatever. I couldn’t find him. At this point, I don’t care. Or…I didn’t care.”
Shit. That wasn’t all, was it? Lucas knew there was more to this story.
“A few weeks ago, I got this summons or whatever it is. It was in the mail—a request for a paternity test.”
“What?” Lucas asked flatly.
Gage laughed, but the sound was hollow. “Her name wasn’t actually Sara. It was Alayna Allen. She and Jonny apparently moved to Arizona, and she filed for some kind of state benefits, which required her to establish paternity for her baby.”
It felt like all the air had been sucked out of the room. Lucas didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know what to think. This had to be a bad dream. His best friend in the whole world was coping with the idea that he’d been assaulted, and suddenly…this gets dropped in his lap?
He wrapped both of his arms around Gage and held him tightly, squeezing harder when Gage began to shake. “Have you even seen this alleged baby?”
Gage let out a watery, rough laugh and shook his head against Lucas’s chest. “Uh, no. Just the paternity request order. It came in the other day.”
The other day. The other—oh. Oh. When Gage was acting really weird. When he was more not himself than he had been in months. Lucas knew he’d been healing since moving back home. He just hadn’t realized what kind of gaping wounds his friend was dealing with.
“I’m so sorry. Fuck. I want to cry. Or scream. Or punch that fucker in the fucking face,” Lucas growled. “And I’m not trying to make this about me. I swear. I just…I love you so much. And the idea that—” His voice cracked, and he took a breath.
Gage was calmer now. He was also trembling, but Lucas realized after a second it was because he was laughing. “You’re the best.”
“I’m so not. I didn’t even notice it was that bad.”
“No one did. Well…my dad. He and Kash kind of figured me out.”
“Do they know?”
Gage shook his head again, harder this time. “No. They think that Jonny was hitting me or something. I don’t know how I can tell them that I…that he drugged me and that his girlfriend, you know…”
