Page 57 of A Good Girl's Guide to Dominance
“I got you, Nia,” he tells me just as we reach the steps and he begins to climb with me in his arms. “Don't worry about anything. I'm here.”
Twenty-Nine
“How are you feeling?”
Rome’s voice is calm and soothing, blending with the serenity of the room. A small fireplace crackles from the opposite wall, shooting beautiful colors of orange and amber onto everything around us as we lay in Rome’s massive bed with his arms around me.
I needed this—his comfort and warmth—as I try to regain control over my emotions. As our scene in the playroom ended, I was ravaged by sub-drop, causing my affections to spin out of control like a speeding car on a slick road. If it wasn't for Rome’s gentleness, I don't know how I would have pulled myself together without it taking days. Thanks to him and his embrace, I'm starting to feel like myself again.
“Better,” I reply with my head lying on his chest and my feet twisted in his black satin sheets. “That was intense, though. I've never experienced sub-drop on that scale—never bawled like that after an orgasm. It was a little scary.”
Rome tightens his grip around my naked body, pushing a fortified sense of safety into my veins like an IV. “You definitelyhad it bad, but it makes sense after such an intense scene. Not to mention that you hadn't ever been restrained like that before. Your body and mind just went through something it didn't understand. As acute as it was, I wasn’t surprised.”
“Well, that makesoneof us,” I say with a laugh. “I never saw it coming, but I'm glad you were here to help me through it. You made me feel better with your words and arms around me, plus the crackle of the fireplace is just the sound I needed. It’s so peaceful in here with the glow of the flames. I love it.”
Rome takes a deep breath, raising and lowering my head with a sigh. “Good. I'm glad. You did wonderful tonight.”
“I did wonderful? Are you kidding? It was allyou. All I had to do was lay there and take it.”
“No way,” he replies. “There's so much more to being a sub than just lying there and taking it. You have to have tremendous mental strength to endure intense BDSM scenes. At any point, your body could have triggered its flight response and started trying to get out of the restraints. You could've invoked your safe word at any point in time, but you persevered and pushed through discomfort. Bondage like that isn't for everyone.”
“Oh? You sound like you're speaking from experience. Is it safe to say that you've been with someone who couldn't handle it?”
“I've been single for a long time, so I've certainly experienced a lot,” he answers honestly. “I don't know about you, but my experience with the lifestyle hasn't been anywhere near perfect. We all know about the fake Dom epidemic, but the fake sub one is nearly just as bad.”
I crane my neck to glance up at him, marveling at his beautiful face being kissed by the glimmer of fire. “Wait, so there are people out there that claim to be subs but aren't?”
Rome smiles with his lips pressed together as if he has seen some truly ridiculous things. “Oh, absolutely. BDSM has sort of gone mainstream. There are a lot of people out there readingabout it and seeing it improperly displayed in TV shows and movies, and because the actors make it look like they're enjoying themselves and the people in those shows are doing things that normal husbands and wives don't do, everyone is trying to jump on the bandwagon. The problem is that doing it in real life isn't anything like reading from a page.”
“True, but that doesn't keep Nasir Booker from being world famous. Or EL James.”
“As far as I know, Nasir Booker is actually in the lifestyle, which is why his books are far more accurate and he’s a literary megastar. When people read his stuff, they can get a better sense of what it’s actually like. But a lot of people don't care about the details. I've had subs who watched certain movies thinking that because they liked sex that being a submissive was a natural progression. Once they were restrained and hit with a cane, the real feeling of pain and bondage was too much and they learned the value of the safe word.”
“Damn. I bet that was a let down in the moment.”
“Big time, but I don't get upset when the safe word is used. I already know this isn't for everybody, so it’s cool when they point themselves out. It takes a special, devious kind of person to be in the lifestyle in real life.”
“Ooh, are you saying I'm devious?”
“Deliciouslydevious, my little goddess,” he answers, making me blush. “You made me so proud.”
“I'm glad,” I reply. “Hopefully in the future I won't cry like a baby afterward.”
Rome squeezes me again, bending his neck forward to kiss me on top of my head. “If you do, I’ll be here for you.”
“Yeah? So you're not scared of a woman mentioning the future? Some men hear that word and run for the hills.”
“If you haven't figured it out already, baby girl, I am not like other men.”
“Truer words have never been spoken,” I reply, giggling.
“As for the future,” Rome says, “I haven't really allowed myself to give it much thought. I've just been trying to focus on grieving my father and doing some personal healing. It’s a very long process. One that I take extremely seriously. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm just taking it one day at a time.”
“Your father's passing hit you really hard, huh? I can tell. It wreaks havoc on you every time you mention it.”
“It’s not just him. I've lost everyone that I've ever loved, with the exception of my childhood best friend. Nikola is like my last hope, and I'm so scared to lose him that it makes me crazy. It’s this fear that has kept me from getting too close to you, if we’re being honest.”
“Oh,” I say. It makes sense now. Rome has been through loss, and that kind of thing can affect a person forever. “I was wondering what it was. I thought it was me.”
