Page 63 of A Good Girl's Guide to Dominance
I once told Nikola and Isabella that it would take perfection for me to even begin thinking about settling down with anyone. Isabella laughed and the three of us talked about it as if it would never happen, a longshot at best. But to my utter surprise, it has already happened. She's already here. Somehow, without being in search of it, I've found perfection.
Cubic Zirconia
Dear Diary,
I can't even begin to explain how well things have been going. It’s almost too good to be true. Rome and I have been together going on three months now, and I couldn't possibly be happier. It finally happened. After all of my searching and going through horrible date after horrible date, crying rivers of tears that felt endless and thinking I would end up either alone or having to settle, I've finally found a Dom who is worthy of my submission.
Over the past few months, Rome and I have grown together so much. He’s unbelievably considerate and always taking care of me. He knows that after he tears me apart, I depend on him to mend me, and he never fails. Sometimes, after specifically brutal scenes, he continues to shower me with love and affection for days, doing his absolute best to ensure mycomfort. I honestly can't get enough of him, which is why I go out of my way to spend as much time with him as I possibly can. It almost feels like I'm making up for all of the time I lost while I was floating on my back atop a hopeless sea of immature, unavailable, undeserving men. I'm not drifting away anymore. I've landed. I've found a home.
Not too long ago, I felt like I was searching for BigFoot. I was trudging through the woods with my magnifying glass, examining every bit of evidence left by some guy claiming he was the one. I followed countless leads and got my hopes up far too many times, only to realize I was being led on by a hoax—another man pretending to be something he is not, wearing the suit of something extraordinary only for it to fall apart under scrutiny.
I started to believe that I would never find him—that the type of happiness that I was in search of didn't actually exist. What I wanted was only in books or horrible book-to-movie adaptations with terrible actors. My obsession with finding him kept me going, but the lack of results shook my confidence like a nine on the Richter scale. I felt hopeless and was ready to give up the hunt, assuming my Dom really was just a mythical creature that didn't exist in reality.
But then we stumbled upon each other. Our worlds collided, melded together, and showed me that everything I was ready to give up on was actually real. No one else believed that he existed, but they were all wrong. I knew he was out there waiting for me to find him. And the best part of it all is knowing that this creature that no one believed was real is far more beautiful than anyone could have imagined. All of the legends couldn't hold a candle to reality. He does exist. I did find him. And now he is mine.
Thirty-Three
“Hey, Michael just got off the grill and we’re about to sit down and eat while we drink a little bit. Jeremiah is on his way over and I just wanted to reach out to see if you could make it.”
I hear the pleading in Jaz’s voice. She wants me to come over and hang out with the crew just like we used to do. I have so many memories of sitting on her and Michael’s couch with a glass of wine in my hand, the two of them connected at the hip while Jeremiah sat on a chair by himself. We would talk about so much, but there was never a night when the topic of conversation didn't shift to me and my love life at some point. The embarrassing change of pace would ultimately be followed by a toast and a shot, honoring how my life was a train wreck being watched in real time. Then we would go back to laughing and acting like we didn't just spill my business out in the streets for all to gawk at. It has happened so many times that I could predict at what point in the night the toast would take place, and have time to fix my makeup in the bathroom to hide the flushing red of my cheeks. I love my friends dearly, but now that I haveRome, I'm not interested in being talked about or toasted to. Rome and I will toast to us on our own time, and the rest of the world doesn't have to take a shot for us. We’re good.
“Umm,” I start, and I hear Jaz suck her teeth. My constant rain checks might be starting to annoy her, but she just doesn't understand. How could she? She has had Michael for so long. “I’m sorry, Jaz, but I'm not going to be able to make it. Rome invited me over, and I guess he has something planned. I’m already at his house just waiting for him to get out of the shower.”
There’s a brief moment of silence over the phone as if someone died, before Jaz sighs.
“Oh. You're already at his house,” she says, totally devoid of her usual joy. “Here I was thinking that I could catch you right after work so you could change into something comfy and come right over.”
“Nah, I left the office and came straight here,” I reply.
Another moment of silence.
“Alright … okay … that’s cool. Well, we all hope that we get to see you sometime soon,” she says. “I feel like it has been a minute since we hung out. Jeremiah and Gerald are getting serious now, too, and he has been talking about all of us meeting him. We were sort of hoping we could all get together and meet his man at the same time that we meet yours. I know you're in this crazy honeymoon phase, but don't forget about us, Nia.”
Now it’s my turn to suck my teeth, but I make sure my tone isn't as harsh as my emotional reaction is. “I’m not forgetting about y’all. We just have really bad luck with our timing. It seems that every time you and Michael want me to come over, Rome and I have already made plans. I'm not doing it on purpose.”
“Are you sure? Because Jeremiah says you still have to hide your relationship from everyone at your office. Maybe it’sbecoming a habit to keep it all under wraps. But we’re your friends, girl. You don't have to hide from us.”
“I'mnothiding,” I snip, unable to keep my annoyance from leaking into my voice this time. “Look, I don't expect you to understand since you've had your happily ever after for so long, but mine is brand new and it consumes my time. I’m not doing anything on purpose or trying to spend less time with you, and I know you're used to me being able to just pick up and run over there whenever you call because I never used to have anything going on. I was the poor single friend whose love life was a circus to be laughed at, but that’s over now, and I'm not going to let anything stand in the way of what Rome and I are developing. So, please don't take it personally when I can't just come running whenever you call.”
“Nia,” Jaz responds, but it almost sounds like a question—like my words and voice don't actually go together. “Okay, I don't know what’s going on, but you know that I'm happy for you. You can't be mad at me for wanting to hang out with my best friend. I just miss you, that’s all. But I understand what this means to you, so you go enjoy your night with Rome, and give me a call whenever you want. Okay?”
“Whenever I want? What’s that supposed to mean?”
Another sigh, this one long and stuffed full of exasperation.
“Nothing, Nia. Have a good night. Talk to you later.”
“Yeah … okay, I’ll talk to—” I'm cut off by the sound of the call coming to an abrupt end. She hung up.
What the hell just happened? Am I doing something wrong, or is my best friend expecting me to remain exactly the same way that she has always known me to be, when my life has changed too much for that? I understood all the times I called her over the years, hoping we could hang out, but she and Michael had something going on. I didn't knock her when she got married and I didn't get to see her for weeks afterward. I understood. Sowhy can't she do the same for me? I'm finally happily occupied, and she wants me to still be single and free. Well, I’m not, so they’re just going to have to adapt to the new world.
“Everything okay?”
Rome steps out of the bathroom wearing a white tank top and black workout pants, his hair slicked back as the hair on his chest glistens in the light. His lust-inducing fragrance wafts out of the bathroom as he steps out looking like a god, water soaking his shirt and making it stick to his stomach. My eyes immediately fall to his abs, somehow still visible through the fabric of his wet shirt. I was upset before he opened the door and stepped out, but his presence pushes it all back like a bodyguard protecting his most cherished asset.
I swallow hard and let out a long sigh just trying to steady myself. “Umm, yeah. It’s fine. I was just talking to Jaz on the phone.”
Rome raises an eyebrow as he walks over to the bed and lowers himself onto the front edge. “And is everything okay with her? You haven't mentioned her much lately.”
