Page 58 of A Good Girl's Guide to Dominance
He kisses me on the head again. “No, it really doesn't … didn't have anything to do with you, per se. There’s my parents, but also … I was married once before.”
My eyes bulge. “Really?”
“Yes … and just like my parents, she died. Four years ago.”
The shock of his words hit me like a punch to the stomach. Now itreallymakes sense. But when I lift my head to turn around and offer my condolences, Rome holds me in place, hugging me like he doesn't want to let go.
“No, don't,” he says. “I don't talk about it. I can't. Just know that I haven't allowed myself to feel anything for anybody since she passed, and meeting you was the first time I felt like I didn't have a choice but to feel something. It sent terror through me like a speeding bullet, and I'm still scared, but I like you, Nia. I really do, and I want to see where this goes.”
“You do?” I ask, suddenly feeling my own sense of fear. “Are you sure? I don't want you to feel pressured or like you have to choose between me and her memory.”
“I don't feel pressured,” he says almost a little too quickly. “I'm just still healing. Nonetheless, I'm making a conscious choice to be here … with you. What we’re doing right now—lying in bed, entwined in each other’s arms next to a crackling fire—I haven't done this withanyonesince her and I haven't wanted to. In fact, I ran from even the slightest possibility of it. But not tonight. Not now. I don't want to run from you.”
Nervous apprehension leaks from my heart and spreads throughout my body, even as I force myself to stay lying on Rome’s chest. It’s wonderful to know the reason behind why he was so on and off in the beginning, but now I'm afraid of that reason. He chose to marry someone else, and they would still be married if she hadn't passed away. I don't need to know the circumstances of her death to understand why he would be apprehensive about another long-term relationship. It makes me very nervous, but the fact that I'm the first girl he has laid in bed with gives me hope. He's clearly at a point in his healing process that makes it okay for him to choose me. It’s worrisome, to say the least, but his words inject me with comfort.
“Good,” I reply, throwing an arm over him and pulling us closer together. “I know you've been through a lot—an unspeakable amount—but I don't want you to run either. I think you're pretty incredible, Rome, and if you're willing to give me a chance, I think I can make you happy. I know I could certainly get used to this.”
A few seconds pass in silence before Rome clears his throat.
“I know,” he says in a whisper. “Me, too.”
Thirty
“Good morning, Nia.”
I look up from my computer just as Rome walks past my door opening in khaki brown pants and a white button-up with brown buttons. His eyes linger as he goes by, speaking to me without saying a word, and I grin as he continues out of view.
In a flash, I forget that I just got to work, because I'm instantly sent back to last night. Rome and I had the most incredible time together, and I'm not only talking about the sex. While that was unbelievable, what I cherished most was the conversations we had afterward, when sliding out of his arms would have felt like torture. Even now, there is no place I'd rather be than lying in his bed with a fire dancing in front of us while talking about life. It was our first instance of just taking our time and getting to know one another, and after one dose I'm already addicted.
So, Rome and I are together now. There are no more questions about if he wants me or if he doesn't. No more confusion about why he was acting out of sorts. Our intentions for each other have been made known, and this is it. There is an us. While Ido have concerns about the fact that he was married four years ago, he assured me that he is healing and ready to be in a relationship. All I can go by is his word, so if he says he is ready to be with me, then I'm definitely ready to be with him.
Now that we’re officially together in a D/s dynamic, I wonder what today will be like. We’re at work with tons to do. I need to get started on the Golden Diamond advertising as soon as possible, and I'm sure Rome has a million other things on his to-do list, but I can't stop thinking about him, especially if he intends to keep sneaking looks at me while I'm trying to work.
“Good morning, Nia,” Jeremiah says as he enters my office carrying a small cardboard cutout. Instead of showing me what's in his hands, he sits down across from me and exhales. “I don't know about you, but I am not in the mood to be here this morning. I'm tired as hell and already in a bad mood. How are you doing?”
I lift my travel mug of coffee and take a swing. “I'm sorry you're in a bad mood. I'm tired, but my mood is okay. It’s pretty good, actually.”
“Ugh. You and your good moods first thing in the morning,” he complains with an exaggerated roll of his eyes. “Why are you happy? Did you finally have a successful FET hookup?”
Jeremiah laughs, convincing himself that making fun of my love life is the most hilarious thing in the world, but when he sees that I'm not laughing along with him, he slowly stops. He goes quiet as his brows draw together like magnets to metal, and he suddenly looks very suspicious of me.
“What are you not telling me?” he inquires, his eyes squinted.
I shrug. “I don't know.”
“What the hell do you meanyou don't know? Here I was getting ready to show you this mock-up for the first Golden Diamond billboard, and you're in here withholding information? Are you dating someone?”
“I don't know,” I answer again, just as my cheeks begin to heat up.
“Girl, if you say you don't know again,I don't knowwhat I might do to you, andnobody else will knowwhere to find your dead body. Stop playing with me. What's going on? Who are you …”
Jeremiah’s voice trails off as I look him right in the eyes, twisting my lips together. Realization slowly dawns on him, and I see the moment the bulb over his head lights up.
“No way,” he whispers, gawking at me with tire-sized eyes. Before asking the question he's dying to ask, he gets up and looks over his shoulder to make sure no one is close by. “Rome? You and Rome are hooking up?”
This time, I give him the answer he is looking for.
“Not hooking up,” I reply with a smile that I can't control. “We’re together.”
