Page 14 of A Good Girl's Guide to Dominance
“In your bio, you wrote, ‘In the lifestyle,’” he says.
I put my drink down and turn to face him. This is the part of the date that I was looking forward to. It’s always cool to go through the generic ice breakers, asking simple questions to not seem too forward or impatient. But it’s the meat and potatoes of the convo thatreallymatter, and this is it.
“You noticed that, huh? Areyouinto the lifestyle?” I ask. Most people have no idea what we mean when we say “The lifestyle.” If Marcus is into it, he’ll understand. If not, I’ll know there won’t be a second date.
“I am,” he answers confidently. He takes another pull from his beer, emptying it before setting it down and eyeing the bartender for another. “I take it you're a submissive?”
“I am. I take it you're a Dom?”
“Proudly,” he says, full of confidence. “And I’m looking for a submissive woman I can settle down with. I know that it takes time, and I’m at a position in my life where I can finally slow down and have the patience necessary to be in it for the long haul with someone who understands what I need.”
“I see.” I fight to keep from smiling as I go on. “That’s very similar to how I feel about life and love. I’m not getting any younger, but because of what I’m into as a sub and the lifestyle I choose to live, it has become increasingly difficult to find anyone worth my time, energy, and effort.”
“So, you want a man to Dom over you?”
“If he’s worthy of it,” I answer. Now it’s my turn to be confident. “I’m not a weak person. The man I choose to be my Dominant will have to be someone who is even stronger than me. They’ll have to know how to take the lead and know when to, which means they’ll understand when to pull back, too. A D/s relationship is give and take just like a vanilla one. It takes a lot of understanding and wide open communication to pull it off, but if you want it enough and can manage it, it can be the absolute best version of love that there is. That’s what I want. The rest of the world can have their vanilla thing, and the judgmental people who turn their nose up when the word kink is mentioned can keep their toxic relationships and sky high divorce rate. I want a singular person who isn't afraid to immerse themselves in the darkest shade of romance.”
Marcus smiles from ear to ear. “The darkest shade of romance. I like that. I like thata lotactually.” As the bartender finishes refilling his beer, Marcus takes it directly from his hand and raises the glass in the air. “To the darkest shade of romance.”
I grab my cocktail and tap it against his glass. “To the darkest shade of romance.”
We both drink while maintaining eye contact, and I finish mine, loving the fact that this date has gone so well. Maybe this is it. After all this time and plenty of horrible dates to make this seem like a dream come true—is Marcus what I have been looking for?
He sets his drink down and leans in close. “If it’s okay with you, Nia, I’d really like the opportunity to get to know you better. I’d like to spend more time with you. Maybe I can prove myself worthy of being the man you call your Dom.”
I smile as I nod.
Oh, shit. This might really be it.
“Yeah,” I say as my stomach explodes with butterflies. “I think I’d like that, too.”
Dear Diary,
I just came back from a date, and … holy shit! Did that just happen? Marcus was good looking, confident, and putting on a masterclass of Dom vibes. He knew the lingo and seemed to fit right into my idea of what a Dom is supposed to be like. He was perfect.
PERFECT!
It’s true that he took a while to reach out to me, but that’s probably because he was working, which is a good thing. I want someone who has to get up and go to work in the morning just like me. Someone who has to do things by a schedule because they are driven and motivated by success. Success takes time and hard work, and Marcus seemed to be all about that. He even works for himself as a personal trainer.
I usually open these pages, click my pen, and complain untilthe ink runs dry. But not tonight. Marcus has made me flip the script. All of the signs were there, and the only flags he displayed were green ones. He even tried to make a joke. It may not have landed with me as hard as it landed with him, but that’s okay. He wastrying. I loved it, and can't wait to do it again.
Is this it?
Can he be the Dom I've been searching for?
I’ll let you know!
Nine
Conference Room B isn't as big as Conference Room A. While the latter is used for big meetings that are usually more like briefings from company leadership, this room is made for brainstorming. When we’re in here, it’s to strategize and have group discussions with department heads and the key players of Sandcastle. Here, we decide what road the company will travel down, so I know this gathering with Mr. Giovanni will not be like the last one. That was more of an introduction. This is our firstrealmeeting, and I am far more nervous now than I was yesterday.
As anxious as I am, I’m still riding high from my date with Marcus last night. He was such a gentleman our entire time together, and we spent the evening laughing and talking about our careers. To my very pleasant surprise, I enjoyed being around him. While his sense of humor is different from mine, he and I are actually on the same page, especially when it comes to the lifestyle. He’s a Dom looking for a submissive to spend his life with, and I’m a sub in search of a Dominant. We didn't get into anything too specific, and we’re certainly not officiallydating yet, but last night was the way I would want any first date to go. I left with a smile on my face and excitement in my heart about seeing him again soon, which quickly turned into heart-racing anxiety about this meeting and being in the same room as Mr. Giovanni. I hate how seeing him and being in his presence once has his image locked inside my mind, even overshadowing Marcus’s adorably bright smile, but I digress.
I can feel the tension in the air—it’s thick, like trying to breathe train smoke—as we await Mr. Giovanni’s arrival again. Every department head is here and so is Sierra, but even she looks nervous. I sit next to her and watch as she twirls her fingers around one another, staring down at her hand with a blank expression on her face. Even when Sandcastle went through a rough period that resulted in a handful of people being laid off a couple of years ago, I never saw the VP look this apprehensive. She timidly glances at the door every now and then before going back to her fingers, and it makes me wonder what kind of conversations the two of them had yesterday as she showed him around.
“You good, Sierra?” I ask with raised brows.
Sierra Martinez and I are strictly coworkers, meaning we don't talk about anything outside of work-related topics. She’s a strong woman who cares about her job and reputation, and I’ve never seen a break in her facade. She went through a divorce about a year ago, and never allowed herself to look stressed or flustered by the drastic change taking place in her life. She came out of it with her head high and her sights set on becoming the world’s best advertising and marketing VP, never even mentioning her personal life to any of us or complaining about how difficult it all was. I would have been impressed if I didn't feel so bad for her. Everyone should be allowed to show emotion sometimes and there is no way she went through all of that without feeling something.
