Page 37 of I Love to Hate You
As I hit the highway, my phone vibrates and rings in my cup holder once again, knocking me out of my happy trance. A glance at the screen shows me it’s my mom, and the smile on my face finally melts away, because this is the third time she has called in just a few minutes. With everything going on with her, I get a dreadful feeling in my stomach as heavy as a boulder.
I put the phone on speaker and hold it just high enough that it won’t be seen if I pass a cop.
“Hey, Ma,” I start, concern making my heart pound. “You okay?”
There’s a brief silence followed by a sniffle before she says, “Why haven’t you been answering your phone?”
“I was at a graduation party. Mom, what’s wrong?” I ask, trying my best to battle away terror and morbid thoughts.
“Simon,” she says with a shaky, emotional voice. “It’s Simon.”
“What about Simon? What’s going on?”
“He’s been shot,” she tells me through a sob. “I got a call from his mother. As he was walking up to his house after returning home, a car drove up. It’s like they were waiting for him to come back. Shots rang out before he even had a chance to look behind him. He never saw it coming, and they sped off down the street as he lay face down in his yard.”
Tears immediately sting my eyes. “Mom, are you telling me my best friend was killed tonight?”
“He’s been taken to Roxborough Memorial. I’m pulling into the ER parking lot right now. Get here, Kendrick.”
I look up at the next highway sign and realize I’m going the wrong direction.
“I’m on my way,” I say, just before ending the call and dropping the phone back into the cup holder.
Emotion takes over my every thought as I yank the steering wheel over and cut off three cars to make the exit ramp. Horns blare behind me, but I couldn’t care less. While I was out being an asshole, putting a guy’s head through a China cabinet, and fucking in a parking lot, my friend was being shot in front of his own home. I was out having the night of my life while Simon was dying in his yard.
“Fuck!” I scream, but only I can hear it. The word is only for me as I blame myself for not being there. I should’ve been by his side like a good friend instead of trying to show off and impress Maya. What the hell was I thinking?
I wipe away tears that seem to have no end as I speed toward Roxborough Memorial Hospital, disregarding traffic signals, speed limits, and my own safety. I set fire to the pavement with speeds that will surely get me thrown in jail if I pass a cop. Luckily, I manage to avoid flashing lights and excessive force as I pull into the ER lot and clip a curb trying to squeeze into a spot as quickly as I can. I jump out and sprint through the automatic doors to find my mother seated in the corner with her arms around Simon’s mom as the two of them weep. They don’t even see me as I rush over.
“Mom,” I say, trying to fight back my own tears. She sits up, revealing a face full of anguish that makes my heart hurt. Simon’s mother, Theresa Martin, looks up at me. The pain I see consuming her makes me break down and I drop to one knee, crying immediately.
My mother’s arms wrap around me as she places her head on my shoulder. “Stay strong,” she whispers in my ear. “Theresa is torn to shreds, and she needs your strength. I know it hurts, but try to stay strong for her.”
I nod, doing my best to wipe away my tears before I stand up and let Theresa see me. Once I’m capable, I get up and hug her. “I’m so sorry, Theresa. I can’t believe this happened. Has there been any update?”
Theresa squeezes me tightly before sitting back in her chair, running a hand through her short, black hair before wiping away a falling tear.
“He’s in surgery,” she manages to say with a shuddering breath. “They’re doing their best to save him, but it doesn’t look good. Oh, god, it doesn’t look good.”
Theresa succumbs to despair, sobbing uncontrollably as my mother takes the seat next to her again and pulls her into a hug, trying her best to bring comfort to a woman who can’t be comforted. My heart breaks just from looking at her, and it’s impossible to keep my own tears at bay. I don’t want to cry in front of her, so I walk away and find a seat at the other end of the waiting room.
There’s nothing we can do but wait, and that’s the most terrifying thought in the world. An overwhelming feeling of helplessness takes over my entire body, and I am entombed by it. All I can think about is how I was having so much fun tonight while Simon was dying. Now I can’t even see him. I can’t help him. I can’t comfort him. I can’t do anything but sit here, wishing I was there to protect him. Maybe I would’ve seen the car there waiting for him. I could’ve warned him. I could’ve pulled him out of the way as the shots rang out. I could’ve donesomethingif I wasn’t out with Maya. I should’ve been there.
Hours pass without a word from anybody, and after sitting there for far too long without an update, a doctor finally manages to come out. He approaches Theresa and my mother with a look of sadness on his face that drops my heart into the soles of my feet.
“Miss Martin,” he says as they stand to face him. “I’m Doctor Johnson. I wish there was better news, but I wanted to give you the latest on where we are with your son. He sustained four bullet wounds—one in his right arm, one in his right leg, and two in his back. The wounds to his back are the ones that caused the most damage, as one bullet exited through his chest, and the other went into his right lung. I did everything I could to try to save the lung, but the bullet bounced around and did too much damage. As a result, I had to remove it.”
Theresa gasps, and my mother squeezes her to hold her upright.
“He’s on a ventilator now, and still very much in critical condition,” the doctor goes on. “There’s nothing left for us to do tonight. We have to wait to see how his body reacts before we can decide what’s next. There’s a chance his remaining lung might not be up to the task on its own. As much as I hate to say it, it’s a waiting game for the next twenty-four hours. We can’t let you in to see him yet, but I wanted to give you the most up-to-date information. I’ll be back once we know something new.”
Anything that feels like hope deflates when the doctor turns on his heel and walks back through the double doors. All any of us can do is stand here in silence as we realize we’ll be here until something changes. Theresa sits back down next to my mother, and I go back to my seat. None of us will leave this hospital until we know Simon is going to pull through. As agonizing as it is, the doctor is right, it’s a waiting game, and none of us are going anywhere.
* * *
The next day, I wake up in the most uncomfortable position I’ve ever been in. My legs are draped over the arm of the chair connected to mine, and my head is tilted to the side, shooting pain up my neck when I try to straighten it out. Sun shines through the automatic doors next to me, announcing that it’s a new day. I fell asleep in the waiting room of the ER, and as far as I know, there hasn’t been any new developments in Simon’s condition.
I find my mother and Theresa sitting in different seats than the ones they were in last night. Mom scrolls on her phone while Theresa sits in silence, her eyes focused on nothing. My stomach rumbles with hunger pangs as I realize none of us have eaten anything since arriving last night, and I leave my seat to hunt for a vending machine in the immediate area. I find one next to a soda machine and spend a few dollars stocking up on snacks and drinks for the three of us. As I bring them back, a couple of new people are seated next to my mother and Theresa. They are more of Simon’s family members arriving to support him.
