Page 64 of Interview with a Sadist
I don’t know what came over me last night, but waking up this morning feels like I got hit by a train. My pussy is sore, my neck is in agony, my legs feel like I just completed a 5K, and I’m pretty sure I’m a little hungover. Physically, I’m miserable. Mentally, I’m on cloud nine.
I’ve dated plenty of men in my life. The dating scene isn’t new to me, and I’ve even been in some relationships that I thought might work out in the end. I’ve never thought about marriage or anything, but I’ve been in love before and even had thoughts about the possibilities of the future with someone. My ex from last year was named Jarred, and we got along very well, but the sexual connection just wasn’t there. In hindsight, I now know my need for something other than vanilla sex was what slowly dragged us down into the mud, but that doesn’t erase the fact that Jarred and I got along great. However,greatpales in comparison to what Nolan and I have.
I’ve never thought about the importance of chemistry, because until you have an example of what it feels like, it’s hard to know that you and your current partner don’t have it as much as you might think. Fifty percent chemistry is better than none, and that’s what I think I’ve had in the past. We would get along great, but the sex wouldn't be where I needed it to be, or the sex would be good, but the friendship wasn't there. At least one piece of the puzzle has always been missing, and I couldn’t identify what it was until now.
With Nolan, we have everything I’ve ever wanted in a relationship. We laugh constantly and the sex feels like it’s from a completely different universe. Nolan rocks my world into another dimension. He sends me into orbit. His gravity pulls me in and forces me to revolve around him. I’m floating amongst the stars when I’m with him, and I don’t think I need to use any more space metaphors to make my point clear. The chemistry between us is unlike anything I’ve ever known, so waking up sore puts a smile on my face. I’ll gladly hurt for joy like this.
After nearly burning the lasagna last night, we actually did end up eating and watching TV on the couch together. We shared another big laugh when Nolan sat down and soaked his pants in the wet spot I left behind, and then spent the next few hours watchingAbbot Elementaryon Hulu, which I hadn’t even seen before, but Nolan told me it was a requirement to watch it. We spent the entire night laughing at the show while sipping port wine and cuddling. If I had to pick out what my dream night would be, choosing something other than what we shared last night would be a very tough task. It was perfect, and we ended it by laying in bed together and falling asleep wrapped in each other’s arms. Last night, my apartment became nirvana.
As I slowly shift myself in bed, I slide my arm across the mattress to touch Nolan, but find that he’s not there. I wake up to an empty bed every morning, but it feels much worse today knowing he was here last night. The brightness in the room forces my eyes to only open only halfway, but I can still see enough to know that Nolan is not only gone from my side, he’s nowhere in the room.
“Nolan?” I say, lifting myself up into a seated position. The apartment is completely quiet, but at the end of the bed is a small piece of paper that looks like it’s waiting for me. It takes effort and resilience just to reach it, but I manage and find that it’s a handwritten note from Nolan.
My Princess, you desperately need to befriend a grocery store. You were out of coffee, so I’m going to stop by the club and make sure everything is good, then grab us some breakfast and the most caffeinated drinks I can find. I’ll be back soon.
Nolan
I smile like a kid receiving their first bike as I put the paper down and get out of bed. My head hurts a little, and I feel a bit unsteady on my feet, but I manage to happily force myself into the bathroom where I pull on a robe and make sure I don't look like a complete zombie. Now that I know Nolan is coming back, I want to make sure the place—and myself—is in decent shape. I don’t know what our morning will consist of, but it’s our first one together, and I want to make sure it’s special.
Cinching my robe together, I keep thinking about last night as I walk into the kitchen. The pan of lasagna is still on the counter, as are our plates, wine glasses, and the empty bottle of port. I reminisce about our sex on the couch while I rinse out the glasses. I’m pretty sure I actually passed out last night, which is definitely uncharted territory for me. Everything was foggy by the time I came to and found Nolan’s head between my legs, but it all felt too good to stop. I have absolutely no complaints, but passing out during sex is definitely a whole new level of kink for me, and I love that Nolan is my guide through this new world.
I move through the kitchen like I’m on autopilot, washing dishes while thinking about how amazing last evening was. I get everything completely cleaned up and set my sights on the couch. I grab a bottle of fabric cleaner and a rag, and begin scrubbing the area that I soaked last night, and I don’t realize it until my face starts to hurt that I’ve been smiling the entire time. By the time I’m finished and ready to go back into the bedroom, the muscles in my cheeks are sore, and it dawns on me that it’s Nolan who has put the smile there. He’s the cause, and my sore cheeks, neck, legs, and pussy are the effect. Is being with him really this incredible? How is it that a man can make me feel this way?
Luckily, I don’t have to wait long for Nolan to return, because before I can make it back into the bedroom, he knocks on the door. I grin to myself, imagining him standing in the hall holding bags of food and a tray of coffee cups, looking like a meal himself while knocking on the door with his elbow. I place the spray bottle and rag on the kitchen counter and can’t get to the door fast enough. I’m actually excited to see him, and I yank the door open with a racing heart.
“Well, aren’t you glowing this morning? You must’ve had an amazing night.”
Somehow, my heart hammers faster and harder than it ever has, and I feel lightheaded as adrenaline and shock ignite like a firecracker, sending me reeling as Maddy steps forward holding something long in her hand. There’s no time to understand or react, because she swings too fast and everything goes black.
ChapterForty
The first thing that returns is my sense of sound. My air conditioner whirs, humming muffled in my ears as if I’m under water at first, before slowly clearing up and coming in sharp and crisp. Next is my sense of smell—the perfumes that have dripped atop my dresser over the years and left my room smelling fragrant and sexy. Lastly, I open my eyes and engage my sense of sight. Everything is draped in shadows, but they slowly rise and disappear into the ceiling, making way for the brightness of the sun and the shock of a lifetime, because I can finally see the person sitting in a chair in front of my bed with one leg crossed over the other. She’s still wearing the same tattered appearance she had when she met me in front of my apartment yesterday morning, and the sun reflects in her eyes, making them glow as she peers at me holding a tire iron in her hand.
Maddy.
She glares at me with a menacing expression, her face blank but bristling. She’s a river of lava that has crusted over. One false move and everything will come spewing out, and there’s no telling what damage could be done.
I try to sit up and assess the situation, because I don't know how I got to my bedroom. I remember hearing the knock at the door and opening it. As soon as I realized it was Maddy and not Nolan, there was a jolt to my entire world and everything went dark. Now, I’m in bed and I don't know how or why. When I try to move my hand to wipe my face, it doesn't even come halfway. There's a metallic clank and an unbreakable tension locking my arm in place, and I look up to find that both of my wrists are cuffed to my bed frame, as are my ankles.
“Oh, my god,” I whisper to myself, before the panic sets in and I scream it. “Oh, my god! What the fuck? What are you doing, Maddy? Uncuff me right now.”
“Shut the fuck up,” Maddy snips, her voice sounding exasperated as if I’ve been screaming for hours and she’s finally tired of it. “You’re not in a position to tell me what to do, and I don't have a lot of time to explain all of this before I do it. I read the cute little note that was on your bed when I dragged you in here. The one from Nolan. He never did that for me. No notes. No coffee in the morning. No breakfast. Nothing. He never even stayed the night at my place, but here he is doing it with you. How sweet. Did you know he used to call me Madelaine? He was the only one who ever did, but he stopped once we broke up. He started calling me Maddy just like everybody else, and I realized how much I used to like him calling me Madelaine. It’s the little things, you know?”
“You can't do this, Maddy,” I say.
My mind feels like it’s short circuiting from how insane all of this is. If my fear won’t convince her to stop this, maybe logic will. I try to think of everything I could say to make her stop what she has started, but my head hurts from being hit with the tire iron, so my thoughts come in slowly.
“I can’t do it?” Maddy replies, standing up. She places the tire iron on the mattress and leans on it like a kickstand. “I’ve already done it, Bree. I’m here. I’m in your apartment and you're chained to the bed. It’s done. All that’s left is the finish, but we’re building up to that. Don’t you worry. I just need a second to gather my nerves. I’ve never killed anyone before.”
My eyes widen to the size of dinner plates as my heart rattles my organs from pounding so hard.
“Wh … what? You can’t … No … Nolan is coming b—” I stutter, as coherent sentences evade me, but Maddy cuts me off.
“I know he is,” she says, appearing morose as she looks down at the bed. “He’s coming back with your coffee … and finding you dead is exactly what he deserves to return to. It’ll break his heart to find you dead in your bed after having what I’m sure was a wonderful night with you. Eventually, he’ll get over it though, and when he does, I’ll be there to comfort him. He’ll never know the measures I took to bring us back together, but that’s what love is all about. You do whatever you have to for the people you love, so I’ll have to live with the guilt of being a murderer, but I can accept that. For him, I’ll accept it.”
“Maddy, stop it. You can’t do this. Why are you doing this?” I bark, hoping someone in a nearby apartment will hear me, but Maddy raises the tire iron and steps closer to me. She doesn't have to speak the words for me to know it’s a threat.
“Because he’s ready to make you the one,” she yells, slapping the bed with the tire iron. It lands with a thud and my eyes sting with tears thinking about the metal hitting my head. “He’s ready to be public with you, and I can fucking see it. He’s doing it right in front of me with the meetings at the club, and the fucking lunches with E and J, who never showed me the love they’re showing you, by the way. Nolan likes something about you and I don't know why, but I’ll be damned if I stand back and watch you take what was supposed to be mine.
