Page 25 of Kingpin
To my surprise, Dominic shows up to my house driving a black Mercedes with dark tinted windows. I couldn’t even see it was him inside as he pulled into the driveway. He smiles at me through the windshield as I walk to the passenger side and climb in. He’s not wearing a suit anymore, just a black t-shirt and black sweatpants, but he’s still gorgeous, sweats and all.
“When’d you get your license?” I ask, my brow furrowed.
Dominic smiles.
“What license?”
He places the car in drive and we’re off, rolling away from my housing area and headed for the highway. It’s a quiet trip. Dominic doesn’t say much, and I’m all in my head with thoughts of the conversation I had with my parents a while back, and how I’m going to tell Dominic about it. I’m wondering about what happened to him, too. How did he end up with a concussion, and what the hell is really going on in his life that puts him in situations where someone can give him a concussion? There’s a lot of questions, and as we stop in an abandoned parking lot behind an apartment complex in Belleville, I’m ready to start getting answers. But it’s Dominic who starts talking first.
“So, there’s something I been meaning to tell you,” he begins, his Italian accent seemingly getting stronger by the minute. “I’ve thought a lot about it, and all the shit that went down at River City made mereallythink about it. About you. About us. I’ve learned that life can be extremely short. One minute you’re lounging in an expensive casino office, and the next minute you’re on your back with a knife to your throat.”
I feel my heart drop into the floor of the car.
“This isn’t easy, Alannah, so just bear with me here, alright,” he keeps going. “Umm, I know we’re getting older all the time. I mean, we’re fifteen now, and we’ve known each other for four years already. But the truth is, since the day I met you when we were in the fifth grade . . . what I’m trying to say is . . . what Ineedto say is . . . I think I’m in love with you, Alannah. I think I been in love with you since the day I pulled that asshole off of you your first day of school. I think I been in love with you since the first moment I ever saw you. You’re the best thing in my life, and not having you be a part of me is the only thing in this world I’m afraid of.”
I let out a sigh as my body heats up, and I get a million goosebumps that all have legs to crawl across my sensitive skin. I look down at the air conditioner to see if it’s been switched to heat, but it hasn’t. I clear my throat, trying to buy time to think of a response, but Dominic keeps going.
“I know that’s probably a lot to take, and I don’t mean to overwhelm you. I know I’m different from the other guys in school. My father and I aren’t a normal father and son, and I know my life’s the complete opposite of yours. I’ve seen the guys you’ve been dating, wishing with all my heart it was me, and when it would end, a part of me would be happy, because they were never good enough for you anyway. That guy you went to homecoming with tonight was an asshole, and he didn’t deserve to be in the same room as you, let alone be your date for the night.
“All things considered, including our differences, nobody will love you as much as I do, Alannah. I’d give everything to protect you, and I’d be as loyal to you as I am my own family. I mean that. I want you to be mine, and I want to be yours. So I don’t wanna hide how I feel anymore. Life’s too short for that. I want you to know how I feel about you, and to be honest, I think you feel the same about me. If I’m wrong, just tell me, but I don’t think I am. Am I wrong? Is it just me who feels this way?”
I feel tears climbing up, stinging my eyes as they reach the summit. I’m overcome with emotions, and I know I was supposed to tell him something important just now, but I can’t remember what it was. All I can think of is how good it feels to hear him say he loves me.
He loves me.
“You’re not wrong,” I reply as the first tear achieves its goal of reaching my cheek. “I didn’t know how I felt for a long time, but I know with absolute certainty now. I love you too, Dominic. I do. I love you.”
My brain tries to remind itself of what I’m supposed to tell Dominic, but my body is no longer willing to wait until my brain figures it out. It goes rogue, and my hand reaches up and pulls Dominic’s mouth to mine like it has a mind of its own.
It’s the first time we’ve ever kissed, and now that it’s happening, I wonder how I ever went so long without doing it every single day. It’s like I’ve discovered the air my body’s been craving, and now that I’m breathing, I can never hold my breath again. Our tongues collide and dance together, and I swear I can hear the Mariah Carey song playing again, because the words are so true.We Belong Together.
We kiss like we’re trying to make up for all the years that we didn’t, and I feel things I’ve never felt before. This is a new feeling of heat, a new level of passion, a new degree of desire and yearning, and it’s uncontrollable.
Our hands roam freely over each other’s bodies, and although I’ve done my share of kissing in my fifteen years, everything in this moment is a first. The things I want right now, I’ve never wanted before.
Dominic leans in and kisses me on the neck, and I lift my head to make it easier for him. My father would be so pissed if he knew what I was doing, but the concoction of emotions flooding my body drown out any thoughts of this being wrong. I only think of Dominic.
I use both of my hands to pull Dominic over to me, and even as he struggles to get over the shifter and my seat clumsily falls back into a lying position when I pull the handle, I don’t care, because I want him on top of me. I want to do things with him I wouldn’t dare think of doing with anyone else. I don’t think to stop when he starts to pull my dress up to my waist, or when his fingers start to touch me over the top of my panties. No, I don’t think to stop, I only surge forward, my skin on fire with sensitivity I never knew.
I push his pants down, he slides my panties off, but I never want to stop.
Who would I rather lose my virginity to? Marcus Smart? Bobby Pistone? Of course not. There isn’t a person in the world I’d rather lose my virginity to than Dominic Collazo. So, when he slides himself inside me, I ignore the burning sensation and the pain of it all, because he makes it worth it. He takes his time with me, going just as slow as I need him to, and even though neither of us really knows what we’re doing, something about it feels right. It feels like love, like this is what we’re supposed to do.
We Belong Together.
It’s a beautiful pain, and although it barely becomes pleasurable physically, I love it because it’s with him, and it feels right in my mind. We’re each other’s first. We’re going through it together like we were always meant to, and I love that.
I love him.
We manage to fit ourselves together in the passenger seat of the Mercedes, our bodies intertwining with one of his arms under me, and the other across my chest. The windows were fogged, so we let them down so the breeze could sweep over us as we look out at the stars.
I lay on Dominic’s shoulder thinking about why it took so long for us to admit our feelings to each other, and how excited I am now that we have. I think about what it’s going to be like for us now that we’re finally a couple. The thought of us walking through the halls in school with everybody staring at us doesn’t make me uncomfortable, it makes me smile. We’ll be like Bonnie and Clyde. That’s probably what they’ll call us behind our backs, but nobody would dare say it to our faces. We’ll be a power couple forever, still going strong all the way up to graduation.
That’s when it hits me.
Now that the passion-induced haze has been lifted, my brain finally starts to do its job again, and I remember what I was supposed to tell Dominic. The words hit me like a ton of bricks to the chest, especially after what we just did and how much it meant. It’s unbearable to think about it and the tears make a comeback. The first one slides down my right cheek, but the second goes down the left and lands on Dominic’s arm, drawing his attention.
“Hey, what’s the matter?” he asks, probably confused by the sudden tears.
