Page 80 of Amethyst and Iron
“That too.”
I jolted as they hit.
That isolation was what it would be like if I let myself die and haunted the Valley of the Dead.
Ifthat was what really needed to happen.
Like I’d thought earlier… it could all be wrong.
This sickness had never existed before.
“You push any harder and even Cassius won’t be able to mitigate the hurt. It could actually damage you permanently.”
“I’m already damaged! That’s why we’re doing this fucking thing!” I yelled, my voice reverberating through the still area.
“Sylas,” Velra tried.
In her urgency, she stepped too close.
“Do not breach the circle!” Cassius called to her, frantically. “You will be caught up in the binding!”
She stilled just in time and held her hands out either side, trying to hold my gaze.
I looked away.
Cornelius’ magic flamed wilder.
Cassius grunted.
“If you can’t hold the shield steady, pull back,” Cornelius warned him.
“He will be in agony.”
“If I stop the spell now, severe damage will be done to him. Unless he lets up, agony will befall him anyway. Don’t risk the same for yourself. You’ve already lost your True Celestial status, you won’t do well with losing more.”
I took in the dangerous predicament Cassius had put himself in for me.
Then at Velra who was trying hard to drag me into her illusion to spare me, her panic and grief so stark it cut at me.
And here I was trying to fight the inevitable.
I squeezed my eyes shut and recalled Lazriel’s freakout when he’d discovered my sickness.
“You’re gonna leave me. You’re gonna perish. You’re gonna keep doing this vigilante work and get yourself killed before you find a cure. If you can even find a cure!”
I sucked in a breath.
“Stop! It’s all bullshit! You pulled me close, you let me care about you—deeply—all the while knowing you were dying! What kind of sick—fuck it! Just fuck it!”
He’d been so pained.
So afraid.
For me.
For us and our bond.
Doing this now, fighting it… I was coming close to repeating that, putting them all through grief and pain.
